Because of You
by RoxyBlues
Summary: They call me "Princess." Maybe it's because I'm on top of the food chain, or maybe I am a delicacy that everyone enjoys. It was nice to once have people that you love, love you back. It was nice to have friends to laugh with. It was nice to have someone there for you, but that's all gone now… BECAUSE OF YOU. *Few chapters have been edited*
1. Chapter 1

**Hey peeps!**

**A/N: New story~ I wanted to start a new one and all because I was falling out of love with my previous. Though I have high hopes for this one! I was starting to get in the mood for a hurt/comfort story and I needed to spice things up a bit. I feel really excited about this one! I also wanted to say that in the summary, you see that it is Roxas that is talking. The first chapter might seem out of place, but I promise you that as you read along, it will fit like a puzzle piece. Actual Akuroku starts in later chapters~ Enjoy!**

**Full Summary: ****They call me "Princess." Maybe it's I'm on top of the food chain, or maybe it's because I am a delicacy that everyone enjoys. It was nice to once have people that you love, love you back. It was nice to have friends to laugh with. It was nice to have someone there for you, but that's all gone now… BECAUSE OF YOU.**

**Disclaimer: The plot I own… the characters… I wish…**

**Warning!: There will be sadness, hurt, violence, rape, foul language, sexual themes, and smut in this story! If you can't stomach that crap, then don't read~!**

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Chapter 1

"Come on… come on…' I whispered gripping my bowl of cereal, staring at the marked calendar. It was Thursday, near the middle of August, and my birthday was just around the corner. Lucky for me, my birthday was on a Friday, so that gave me the whole entire weekend to enjoy my presents. I am going to turn fourteen tomorrow, and I'm going to get the one present I always wanted:

An older brother

Ever since I was little, I've always wanted an older sibling. At first, I didn't care if it was a girl or a boy. I just wanted someone to play with and talk to when my mother and father weren't around and was off doing work. Often times they would send me to stay with my aunt or uncle to make sure I was being supervised and cared for while they were gone, but they didn't know that I was perfectly fine taking care of myself and that just made me lonelier. Then as I hung with all the girls that lived in their neighborhood, I quickly decided that I would rather have an older brother than a sister. (It's not like I didn't like them, it's just I had a bad experience with them) I envied all the kids throughout my school that had an older sibling, but it did help me relate to other kids that had no older blood relative. Out of all the people I met, the only person that I most connected with was my friend Sora. He had brown hair that spiked out to almost every angle. Although, he like me, couldn't do anything about it because , again he like me, had hair that defined gravity and we couldn't put it into any other style since it would go back to its original style. (As for I, I had hair that swung to the side to a unique style.) He was always loud and overly friendly, ready to help people that were in need and made sure none was left behind. He was a social butterfly, and everyone loved him no matter where he'd go. As for I, I was the lone wolf, but he slowly coaxed me out of my thick winter coat. Some people would say that we look like biological brothers, which is somewhat true since we do have a few of the same features. So we'd often ask our mothers if either of them stole one of us at birth. Although, our relationship was more like, "I'll be your best friend if you be my best friend" kind of shit, but that's not what I wanted. It was already too late for my parents to have another child since my mom was unable to conceive children after I was born, but that didn't stop me from wanting a brother… a big brother. An adopted brother. And I was finally getting one tomorrow.

"You know, if you keep staring at it, you'll go blind and will never see the day of your birth, literally." I scoffed then turned to my mother. She wore a spaghetti strap tank top and tight jeans that hugged her curves neatly. It didn't faze me when I could clearly see my mother's tits through her shirt. She practically walked nude in our home. Of course my father liked it that way, and sometimes I would see him walking around in his boxer briefs, but at least they had enough decency to wear clothes when visitors were around. Of course I was the more modest of the two. Sometimes I'd wonder if my parents were nudists at one point in time, or they just don't like wearing clothes that weren't showy.

"Right mom, just like grandma Fetus." I chuckled spooning my cereal in my neglected mouth.

"Oh hush. You know how your grandmother feels about her last name. Just be glad that she decided to name me after your grandfather. I would have given it to you if I hadn't met your father." I furrowed my brow then heard the toaster oven ding. My mother hummed and retrieved the toasted bread, then came back to shove it in my mouth. "Finish eating so you can kick yourself out of the house." My mother smiled ruffling my hair.

I grumbled and nearly swallowed the whole toast in one gulp, then slurped up the rest of my cereal. "Yes Mrs. Tifa Lockhart." I was already feeling tired before the day started, and the only thing that was keeping my feet moving was the twenty-four hour wait until my birthday.

My mother giggled then turned when the sound of falling footsteps sounded down the corridor towards the kitchen. Just then my father, Cloud Stifle, walked in dressed in nothing but leather from head to toe. At least he was more modest than my mother compared to dressing in more appropriate attire. My mom skipped away from me, her hair flowing through the air behind her. I turned away for I knew what would happen next. I stuck out my tongue in disgust when I heard the obnoxious sounds of kissing. I swear, in addition to express their need to go around without clothes, my parents don't have any modesty at all. I flung my shoulder bag over my shoulder, but didn't even try to tell my father I would wait for him in the garage since he wouldn't be able to hear me over, what my grandfather liked to call, "The Obsessive Smacking of Thy Lips," or T.O.S.O.T.L.

I walked out of the kitchen, down the hall, down our grand staircase into the foyer, through the large French style front door, and around the front yard then stood in front of my fathers precious Fenrir. Yes, my house was fairly bigger than the average human home, but it wasn't at all deemed a mansion. What can I say? My parents have a _lot_ of money, and most of the time they spend it on me. (Even though I don't ask for it) I waited a good ten minutes before I spotted my father walking across the lawn adjusting his biker's jacket. It wasn't necessary for me to hitch a ride with my father since my school was just down the road. Though I can't help it if I become a bit lazy sometimes.

"Read to go?" he asked wiping his lip with his thumb then grabbing a helmet that sat in the backseat.

"Yeah." I sighed climbing onto the back, but before I could make myself comfortable, my father wedged the helmet onto my head. I groaned.

"Dad-"

"Roxas we already went over this. Just because you are going to be a year older doesn't mean you don't need a helmet. Now, stop moaning and groaning like your mother did when we were creating you, Mini me." He chuckled hopping onto the bike. I hated it when he called me that, but at the same time it did make me glad that I did have someone I so closely resembled.

"Good thing I didn't witness it" I mumbled in disgust wrapping my arms around my father's middle as the bike came alive with a gentle purr. God, my parents can be vulgar.

"Oh don't worry, we have a video." I could practically hear the smirk forming on his lips.

"Disgusting!" I yelled, but before I could swat him on the back, the bike jerked forward and nearly caused me to fall off the bike.

'Blame your mother." I grimaced trying not to have the visual of my parents having sex playing in my mind.

"I always do."

xXxXx

I waved my father goodbye as he sped off towards work. I slipped off my checked shoulder bag then turned swinging it like a bat, nearly hitting a certain brunette that was about to pounce me from behind, in the face. He stumbled back startled then fell flat on his ass. He had the most priceless expression of shock on his face as he gripped his shirt as if his heart was about to fly out. I tried really hard not to laugh. The most I couldn't resist was a smirk, but I flung my shoulder bag over my bag over my shoulder then trotted past him.

"You should know better Sora. Trying to sneak up on me like that; you should know that doesn't work on me anymore." I grinned turning to look at him over my shoulder with an evil glare.

"You're right Rox, but…" He paused for a minute then stared at me with a fearful glance. "…you don't have to look at me like you're about to ass rape me." He sighed getting himself off the ground. I simply stared at him until he met my gaze. I smirked.

"In due time Sora." I mumbled then stalked off to the school leaving Sora behind to ponder on my words.

"In due ti-? What the hell is that supposed to mean?" He yelled behind me before appearing by my side falling into step.

I ignored his question with a smile as we stepped up the stairs of the school. We were instantly greeted with smiles. Here at Twilight Academy, the only Academy of the sunniest town in Twilight Town, Sora, I, and some others are much respected. Twilight Academy was also the only Academy that not only had all three grade schools, but also allowed their students to wear their own attire instead of uniform. (That I was much grateful for) For most students at the Academy, they like have "Ranks of Royalty." For example, the most popular students in the Elementary section were considered "Apprentices," for the Middle, which I am in right now, were called "Princes" or "Princesses," and finally for the High School section, they were considered the "Kings" or "Queens" of Twilight Academy. I wouldn't say we are people of high superiority, but Sora and I were often referred to as "The Sunshine Twins." Sora thinks it's a corny name to call us, but I don't consider the name much. We were called this because: 1) Sora's hyperactive personality and happy-go-lucky attitude somehow makes everywhere he goes a little brighter. 2) My hair is a very bright golden yellow, and I don't even know how I could be thought to be anything "princely" when my gaze can strike fear into some people. (i.e. the people of the lesser age or grade) Sora just thought it was because of my oh-so-flawless skin that somehow, in his words, radiates a bright glow as if my face alone would brighten up even the darkest of rooms, and how my hips were a bit wider than his. (Although, I don't know what that has to do with anything, but I also wondered if anyone called me a princess because of my girlish features.) Sometimes I wondered what goes on in that fucked up mind of his. We wandered aimlessly down the school corridors until we met up with the other well respected students of this school. They were known as "Princesses", a.k.a. Kairi, Namine, and Xion. Sora discarded me like a wet cloth and welcomed the girls with open arms into a crushing hug. I waved kindly to them and made my way to our little group. Xion and Namine were the petite girls of the group, but they never complained about their height. It actually made them much cuter. Kairi was a little taller of the three. (Just a little) To describe them further, Xion had black hair that barely touched her shoulders, Namine had bleach blond hair that was swung over one shoulder and always wore something white, and Kairi hair burgundy hair that went past her shoulder and wore pink most of the time. Although, that strangest thing about us Princes and Princesses was that we all had blue eyes. The Kings and Queens found it strange, but no one complained. Besides them, I also had other friends; Hayner, Pence, and Olette. They were my friends outside all this princely attention. Others considered them lucky that they were friends with me, but they didn't care. They enjoyed being around me no matter what or who I was. That's what I like most about them. We walked on and chatted away until the first bell rang and went on our separate ways. The first three periods flew by quickly, and before I knew it, it was time for lunch. I eagerly made my way through the cafeteria until I spotted our table, or what everyone else likes to call it, the _Throne_. It was the place where the Royalty sat, and others were considered lucky to even get close to it. It was located dead center in the cafeteria as all the other tables circled around it. Not only that, all the other tables could only seat up to six people and was blue and circular. As for the Throne, it could seat up to twenty, and was colored a vibrate white and wide and rectangular. (Either way, I didn't care must about the seat up) I jogged/skipped to our table and plopped right down next to Xion. I didn't bother bringing a lunch and I didn't like the cafeteria food, so normally I wouldn't eat anything. (Although I eat like a glutton, but never gain any muscle or fat from it)

"So do you know what you are getting for your birthday?" Xion turned to me while nibbling on a carrot.

"You don't know?!" Sora yelled banging his hands on the table. I groaned as all the student body present in the congested room glanced at our table.

"Sora, please don't. People are already looking." I sighed covering my face with a tired palm.

"Well I'm sorry no one informs me what going on in Roxas' life." Xion huffed digging a carrot into the white creamy substance that was so called "ranch."

"WELL… since you don't know…" Sora began, already becoming overly dramatic with hand motions and facial expressions.

"SORA PLEASE-" I pleaded shooting him a death glare, but Sora's ego was overcoming it.

"WOXY ISH GOIN TA HAVE A BWIG BWOHDA AND HE'S ADOPTED!" Sora practically scream/cooed clapping his hands together and settling them on his cheek.

"SORA!" I shrieked coving my face with my hands as I felt the stares come to contact with me. My face instantly became heated from embarrassment, and I could already hear the quiet murmurs and gasps coming from the other students.

"Aw! Roxas is blushing!" Kairi squealed in turn earning me more glances and stares. I spun around and faced Sora; a spork pointed at his exposed neck.

"I will one day… fucking _kill_ you!" I hissed bending the neck of the spork with my thumb; a bitter sweet smile trained on him. Sora instantly turned away and whistled a tune like nothing happened.

"Roxas…" it was now Namine that spoke as she placed her sketch pad down. I wouldn't lie, Namine is a really good artist. "… you know that your smiles and glares can be really scary sometimes, right? Sometimes I wonder how people even see you as one of Twilight High's Sunshine Prince." Namine hummed as the other Princesses nodded in unison. I grinned.

"Heh, in due time, my princesses, you will feel the pain." Lifting myself off the table, I abandoned the room.

I could already imagine them saying "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?", but I didn't think that they would soon be part of the cause of mine.

xXxXx

I nearly broke my leg getting out of bed the next morning. There was commotion going on downstairs, and it was making me extremely excited. Today was not only my birthday; it was also the day when I get to meet my new brother.

"MOM, MOM, MOM, MOM, MOM, MOM!" I screamed running down the hall dodging men that carried boxes upon boxes of luggage and room décor. I almost collided with my father, but I sidestepped just in time to cause him to only spill his coffee on his work shirt. I think I heard him scream a row of profanities at me but I didn't care. I kept on running down the large corridor then down a flight of stairs that branched off from the grand staircase, one of them, leading to the kitchen, but that wasn't my destination. At the top of the stairs, I spotted my mother talking to a tall man that was completely dressed in white. (At least she was wearing appropriate clothing) I was practically flying down the stairs, but to my despair, my excitement clouded my coordination. The next thing I knew, I was tumbling down the rest of the way down the stairs. It took me a moment to realize that my mother was by my side and so was the man. Groaning in mild pain, I flipped myself over onto my stomach, but it didn't hurt so much since I do often fall down these murderous steps thanks to excitement or anything that would cause me to run down them.

"Good lord son, are you alright?" The man in the white tux asked helping me to my feet.

"Don't worry Sir, my son does this every now and then. Mostly when he runs down them." My mother said giving me a glare then a soft smile; although her eyes couldn't mask her concern. "Are you sure you're alright sweetheart?"

"Ya, I'm fine." I mumbled stretching like I didn't fall down the stairs at all. I looked at my mother, then to the man, then back to my mother. Face palming myself; I have completely forgotten why I came down the stairs in such a hurry. Before I could think of any reasons, my mother spoke again.

"Roxas, hun, you should head to school." She smiled handing me my shoulder bag. It must have materialized from somewhere because I didn't see it before.

"Wha-Why?! It's my birthday and-!" Before I could finish, I was already out the door.

"Have fun!" My mother sang slamming the door in my face.

"Well then, fuck you too." I grumbled hefting my bag over my shoulder. I paused then later cursed myself for finally remembering what I wanted to ask mom, but it was pointless to try to pry open the door now since she might have already locked all the doors and windows in the house so I wouldn't try to ditch. I spew a string of profanities as I walked to school, but when I thought of finally meeting my soon-to-be older brother, I immediately brightened then ran the rest of the way.

xXxXx

"ROXAS… *huff*… WAIT!"

"No can do Sora! My brother is waiting for me!" I yelled pushing past people as I flew down the corridors. I weaved through the mass crowds and caused some students to drop their books. Today had gone remarkably fast, and for that I was thankful. The sooner the day was over, the sooner I got to see my new brother. Nervousness coursed through my veins as I stormed through the front doors and ran alongside the sidewalk. My house was only three blocks away and I was already breathing heavy. (maybe it's because of the nervousness) I was becoming a mess and I could barely keep my feet going with them feeling jittery and wobbly. While I ran, I thought about a boy that was more or less my size, maybe a brunette, bright eyes (Don't care about the color), muscular at the least, I hoped to GOD he had a penis as proof he was a guy, and pretty much everything I dreamt of or heard about of an older sibling.

My house was finally in sight, and I quickened my pace. My heart was pounding in its boney prison, and the butterflies in my gastro-chambers hadn't settled. I noted my father's motorcycle in the garage, but I ignored the easy entrance and decided to climb up the towering staircase.

"MOM, MOM, MOM, MOM!" I screamed at the top of my lungs reaching for the doors. "IS HE HERE?! IS HE-!" My hands brushed the handles, but I was taken aback then the doors swung open themselves. I stumbled then tripped into the house colliding with a solid object. I fell forward and expected to land on something hard, but instead I landed on something that was indeed solid but somewhat… squishy? The thing made an audible "oomph" sound then I found myself, or my face, buried in fabric. I lifted my head a little, and I found colorful stars dancing in my vision… stars? I stared at the little pentagons the lined my vision, but it took me a long while to realize that I was laying on top of a male. (How'd I know? No boobs evident… )

"Roxas?" I looked at my right and spotted my mother holding the door looking down at me. A smile danced on her face and beamed with happy eyes. 'Roxas, meet your new brother."

I froze.

_What?_

I stiffened but ever so slowly lifted myself a litter higher to met sharp green eyes. I held my breath as the stranger, no… my brother, whom I happened to be straddling at the moment, stared back at me with half lidded eyes. He cracked a smile then suddenly sat up, cause me to fall back but I quickly caught myself.

"What a strange way to make a first impression. Of course I don't mind being straddled by a girl now and then, but this is getting ridiculous!" The older teen sighed smirking down at me. I blushed horribly at his comment, but found myself unable to move from his lap. (Or should I say directly between his thigh and stomach) I tried to think of something to say to apologize and not further embarrass myself, but the older spoke again.

"Oh yeah, just so you know, the name's Axel."

_Axel… _

_I wouldn't have thought that the four lettered name would changed my world completely._

_Whether good or bad…_

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**FINALLY! I wanted to bad to get this done and finally did! Though of course there is going to be more ****ALTHOUGH**_**"more"**_** won't be coming for a while. I want to finish of the next chapter of my other story before I seriously start working on this one. Though that might not be happening for a long while… (sorry) Though all my motivation depends on you! I will be updating accordingly once every week, but if I'm in a good mood, maybe two. I already have most of the story typed out, but I would most likely see the progression of this story.**

**Reviews are the heart that makes my blood flow! (I won't continue on with the story unless I receive 5 reviews)**

**(Criticism is welcomed too! If there was something in the story that offended you, then you shouldn't read. Though harsh criticism against the pairing is not tolerated. If you don't like the gay smut, then stick to your straight porn!)**

**I hoped you enjoyed the first chapter!**

**~RoXeEn**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi c:**

**I didn't feel like waiting for 5 reviews because I thought it seemed a little too needy, so I decided to upload this chapter early! This must be my longest chapter so far, so you get to enjoy 5k+ words of sadness… :D I want to say thanks for the first few people to give me review~**

**I hope you enjoy the chapter! **

**Disclaimer: Wish I owned KH… *flips a table in rage***

**Warning!: There will be sadness, hurt, violence, rape, foul language, sexual themes, and smut in this story! If you can't stomach that crap, then don't read~!**

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Chapter 2

After about a five minute staring contest, my mother finally decided to remove me from Axel. She apologized to him, explaining that I've always wanted a brother, and might have been really shocked when I realized it was him. I blushed when he laughed a smooth, hardy laugh, but I blushed mostly out of embarrassment. I tried to not stare at my new found brother, but his features were rather… _intriguing_. First things first, the boy was very tall, he had fiery red,_ red_ hair, high cheek bones, a sharp face, lean yet muscular body, and the brightest acid green eyes I've ever seen. If I stared at him any longer, I would have to question my sexuality. Although, I question myself all the time, since I don't really care who I'll marry in the future, just as long as I loved them.

My mother finally cut me out of the loop when she ordered me to head to my room to put on more comfortable clothing. I happily complied running up the grand staircase, then up another flight of stairs, down through the corridor, then finally my room. Excitement was already bubbling up inside me, but I was quickly getting annoyed with how long it was taking me to take off my clothes. Hurriedly looking through my clothes, I decided to throw on a plain white V-neck shirt, fresh underwear (I know I must have soiled them when I met Axel), and blue baggie sweats. After I yanked those on, I ran into the nearest bathroom then checked myself in the mirror. I would often do this when I'm having friends, family, or guests over. It was more a ritual I suppose I would do; more like a habit. I would check everything from misplaced pieces of hair (I find it sad how I remember these things about me), a clean face, neck, arms, dirt under my fingers, clothing wrinkles, and anything that would embarrass me like a bogey dangling from my nose. I ran back down the stairs than into the kitchen. My heart was in my throat when I crossed the kitchen, then into the dinning room.

"Hey birthday boy, glad you finally decided to join us." I noted my father sitting at the head of the table; two cakes laid out in front of him.

"Dad, why two cakes?" I asked heading around the large dinning table that seated ten people; eyes already searching for my mother and Axel who happened to be M.I.A. at the moment. "I'm not going to become a glutton if that's what you're hoping."

"No, that happens to not be what I am thinking at the moment, but I will keep that in mind. What I wanted to say was-"

"Today is not only your birthday." My mother stepped in followed by Axel. My heart instantly stopped at the sight of him.

_What is up with me?_

"You know, your mother is right. It is not only your birthday, but also mine." Axel spoke pointing to himself then at the cakes. "Now you have all the more purpose to pig out, you glutton." Axel smirked, giving me a peculiar glance as he made his way next to my father. He and my mother laughed at Axel's comment, and then proceeded tending to the table with food. I smiled trying to overlook the small insult.

"That's great! It's like we were suppose to be twins!" I smiled happily, then heard Axel snort; although, I couldn't figure out what that snort designated.

So what if I liked food? I mean I know I can pig out sometimes, but I took offence when people called me anything close to a pig. I can't blame my high metabolism. I know Axel was playing around with me, but it sounded more of an insult than sarcasm. Quickly my thoughts brightened. This is what it must have felt like to be teased by an older sibling. I don't know whether to be excited or offended… but I kinda liked the feeling. Maybe I was being a bit _too_ naïve for my own good.

I made my way to the large table, and then decided to sit across from Axel. Since the first impression didn't go as well as I hoped, I wanted to give Axel the space he needed to adjust. I didn't want him to think I was clingy because I would have literally hovered around him and invaded his personal space _if _personal space didn't exist. Soon, everyone started eating and my parents were already asking Axel questions. They asked him questions like: What was the orphanage like? Did you have friends? How many? What were they like? Did you like the food that they served there? Were there any kids you hated? What's your favorite color? Is your hair really that color? What do you want to be when you're older? Is there a particular someone you want in your life? What's your dream car? Do you want to go to college? Do you plan to get a Masters Degree? Have you… etc., etc., etc. not once after dinner or the cutting of the cake, was I able to ask a question.

During the whole session of Q&A, I learned a lot about Axel. He wants to be a successful business man, doesn't plan to have any children, but hopes to have a wife. He plans on going to college, but hasn't though of getting a Masters. He likes motorcycles (much to my father's pleasure), cooking, punk rock, fire (I found that interesting), and anything that's of high value. He never really liked the orphanage, neither did he like the food. He did have friends, but half of them were adopted when he was. He wants to live in a condo in the cities. He likes the color neon green. He thinks Justin Bieber is gay (I took that to offence because I kinda liked the guy), he believes that Miley Cyrus needs to get laid, and believes that politicians need to kiss his ass because they are too stuck up and need to take a hit of marijuana. His last few answers made us laugh hysterically, but I didn't laugh as loud as my parents. They were certainly enjoying Axel and his sense of humor. They have been soaking up his attention like a sponge, and for a moment I had completely forgotten that Axel wasn't a plain visitor, but an official member of this household that now occupied a once empty room. By this time, we had just finished dinner and desert, but I still eagerly waited for my turn. I was starting to hate how my parents were stealing my spotlight.

_Whoa… a little too early to already feel jealously._

As I waited, I grew increasingly bored, so I played with pieces of my hair curling my fingers around every golden lock. I hadn't noticed that the conversation had stopped, and Axel got up from the table until I spotted red spiky hair disappear through the door. I quickly shot up to my feet and began to chase after the redhead, but was stopped by a hand to my shoulder.

"Not so fast, Roxas, dishes, _now._" My mother barked pointing her finger to the kitchen.

I cursed her under my breath as I dragged my feet around the table and picked up all the abandoned dishes. Hastily, I placed them all in the dishwasher, turned it on, and then headed off for the redhead. I stalked down the hall then later noticed light flowing threw an open door. I was happy to know that Axel's room was now across from mine, but I was happier to finally have a chance to ask a few questions of my own. I slowed down my approach near his door, but didn't dare look into the room yet. Softly I knocked on the door frame.

"Axel?"

"Mmnff?" Came the reply, and it only made me wonder if Axel was doing something that he couldn't give me an appropriate reply. Curiosity got the best of me. I looked into the room, and instantly spotted Axel lying on his stomach with his face buried in a pillow. I looked around his room, and noticed that everything was lacking decoration. Every thing was white from the window curtains to the carpet; even the sheets on Axel's bed. The only thing that did was the boxes and luggage that lay on the floor. From the looks of it, Axel hadn't unpacked yet and didn't look like he wanted to at the moment. I decided to ignore the state of the room, and look back at Axel.

"Um… were you… about to sleep?" I asked hesitantly as I reverted my eyes back to the boxes.

"Mm… yeah."

"O-Oh ok. Goodnight Axel and Happy Birthday… to both of us." I smiled even though Axel couldn't see it. I was a bit disappointed, but I knew that Axel must have been tired.

"G'night."

I stood by the door for a bit, and watched Axel's form lay on the bed. I felt my lips perk for no apparent reason. Suddenly I felt warmer, this time not around the cheeks, but … everywhere. I happily welcomed this feeling. I wondered if this is what it felt like to have "Brotherly Love." The feeling of deep attachment to a sibling, or should I say in this case, someone that you are related to; although, Axel and I weren't related. Then I thought that it couldn't be so because I only met him but a few hours ago. So this had to be something different. Axel was from an orphanage, the place where children no longer had parents, or legal guardians stayed. I mentally kicked myself for just realizing that we just took Axel away from his family… his family back at the orphanage. It must have taken Axel a lot of strength to leave his family just like that in order to live with mine. It donned on me how many kids and teens just like Axel had to do the same to get a family to take them. For however how long Axel has been here, my mother acted no different than a regular person would when they introduced themselves to someone new. My father did the same, but I could see the rapidly forming parent-to-child bonding happening between the three. Axel did have the choice to not be adopted, but that made me question if he really had someone back at the orphanage that he was really attached to. Now here I stand having feelings I shouldn't have so soon. Could it… could it be that just like my parents, that my instinct to form a bond with Axel kicked in when I gain knowledge of his former life? Or was it just the need to make him feel as comfortable as possible while he's here?

"How long are you going to stand there?" I jolted and snapped my head up to find Axel standing directly in front of me. His face was barren of emotion.

"S-S-Sorry! I-I was just about to leave." I stuttered through my words as I quickly turned away from him. I was halfway across the hall when I thought of something. "H-Hey… Axel?"

"_What_?" I flinched a little at his harsh reply, but I sucked up the nervousness and continued.

"D-Do you want to hang out tomorrow? Well I am not doing anything and I could show you around town if you want?"

_Why am I such a chicken wuss?_

"Your mom already did that." I could hear the annoyance in his voice, and my mind was frantically scrambling for something else to say, the nervousness returning with vengeance.

"Um… a-at least you wouldn't mind if I showed you my favorite places to hang, do you?" I tried to keep my gaze from him. His speech was making him rather intimidating and I feared to look him in the eyes. I knew he was getting annoyed with me, but I desperately wanted to talk to him or hang out. There as a long stretch of silence and I wondered if Axel was looking at me as if I was a clingy child. Timidly, I glanced at him; his face was still empty of emotion. He stared down at me, and I was shocked to see how tall Axel really was. To me he looked like a skyscraper, and I must have been a tiny speck compared to him. (Well I was more like 4"7', but I'm a growing boy so I haven't reached my maximum height yet. But as for him, he was maybe 5"8'; A tall motherfucker at that. I hoped to god I wouldn't stay this small when I got to my adult years.) The height difference didn't help my scrambled emotions towards him. It took me a moment to notice Axel said something.

"Huh?"

"I said sure." Axel sighed then opened his mouth wide, yawning. He turned then closed the door; the soft sound of the light switch being flipped off and the low "thump" of a body thrown on a bed sounded.

It took me a lot of willpower to not to plow through the door and suffocate Axel into a crushing hug. It hadn't registered that Axel just slammed him door in my face, but I didn't care. I was so happy that I skipped into my bedroom then jumped onto my bed. I buried my face into my pillow to suppress the happy squeal that bubbled up in my throat.

Gawd, I was such a girl.

xXxXx

"So, where exactly are we going?" Axel asked, walking beside me, adjusting the hem of his coat jacket. I smiled up at him.

"Like I said yesterday, we are going to my favorite places to hang."

"Oh, right."

When I told my mother that I wanted to take Axel around town, she was ecstatic. She went as far as giving us a big lump Sum of money to go buy ourselves whatever we wanted. My father didn't mind and as for Axel, he stilled looked grim, but I didn't let it bother me. I planned on having a great time with Axel, and maybe I'll finally have a taste for myself what it's like to have a brother.

We walked for more than thirty minutes, and Axel was already getting anxious. It sounded like he was about to ask me another question, but the moment we turned the corner, we walked right into the east side of town. He gawked in awe and I smirked. Mother might have not shown him this side of town, did she?

"Your mother never mentioned this side of town." Axel remarked looking at all the abandoned houses, dirty streets, and warily watching all the people who were loitering.

"She wouldn't have anyway. She hates the east side of Twilight Town and rather calls it 'Tranny Town' for obvious reasons if you look around." I chuckled aimlessly looking around the area. This was the city side of Twilight Town. Here, all the dangers and excitement of living in the city resided. There were tall buildings with large logos above them. There was also a plethora of small bars and shops on almost on every street, and they were always trashy and some places emitted a fowl smell. Small trees were scattered here and there, but it didn't help improve the city's image. Men with bandanas loitered in alleyways, and it wasn't surprising to see a few hoochie mamas hanging around them; though I didn't fear them. They've seen me well enough to know I wasn't an enemy. As long as Axel stood beside me, they wouldn't bother him.

"I do have to admit, Axel," I looked at him and he glanced back at me. "… this side of town is dangerous, but I like it here. It's like a second home to me." I chuckled when he made a face that was mixed with "Are you serious?" and the classic "OMG REALLY?" face. Though overall, I could see Axel was enjoying himself. He did say he wanted to live in the city, so that sprung up my idea to show him the Eastside. We walked along the street for a bit site gazing, and it wasn't long until I spotted one of my happy abodes. I grabbed Axel by the wrist then led him across the street until he stopped in front of a "store." The name of the store was in big bright letters attracting anyone who dares to enter. In the display windows stood manikins dressed in lingerie. Posters of practically naked men and women were posted on the walls and toys laid at the bottom of the windowsill. The windows were tinted black so no one could see what was inside.

_Misery Business_

"Hey um… Roxas was is it?"

"Hm?" I gazed up at him with a look of innocence, but I couldn't hide the smile that formed on my lips.

"We're not going in there, are we?" Axel asked eyeing the store uneasily.

"Of course we are!" I shouted happily walking off then stopping in front of an alleyway right beside the business. I turned back to Axel and snorted at the look of shock he was giving me. I signaled for Axel to follow me, but when he did he bent down to whisper in my ear.

"Aren't you a little_ young_ to go to places like this? Because you don't look the type to-" I erupted with laughter cutting him off. I knew this was something Axel would ask the moment I showed him this place.

"Heh, no. Misery Business isn't what you think it is. It's actually a bar." I explained. "They just use those figurines and toys to make it seem like those kinds of stores. Though people that know what this place really is enters though the back. There is a guard that stands outside in the late night hours, but I never stayed there long enough to figure out why. I only come here in the afternoons or sometimes in the mornings, then later am kicked out by around six. All I know is that the owner owns another business, but I never bothered to ask what it was." We stopped in front of a metal door that had the classic "Keep Out" sign on it. "Besides," I turned to Axel. "… isn't it a little too _early_ for you to know those kinds of stores exist?" I chuckled drumming my knuckled on the metal door in a rhymetic manner.

"Whoa, wait. Does that mean you drink?"

"Hm… every once in a while, but don't worry I don't do drugs." I giggled; the door simultaneously opening and revealing an extremely tall man. Taller than Axel I'd say the least. I looked up at the creamed skinned hulk sparing him a sly smile. "Lexaeus."

"Roxas." He greeted. His voices boomed, and seem to make the air around him vibrate. He reminded me of the Amazing Hulk because his huge stature and his face seemed to be stuck in a scowl.

"Who is this boy?" Lexaeus asked as I heard Axel grunt at the mention of his name, but I ignored him.

"He's new around here, showing him the ropes you know. Maybe giving this place another customer if you know what I mean." Giving a glance at my shock induced brother. Lexaeus looked him over before shoving his hand in his pocket, then pulling out a pink card. Axel eyed it hesitantly then took it carefully in his hand. Lexaeus moved aside, allowing us entrance. Axel and I walked into the dark corridor, and then I could suddenly feel Axel lean over me.

"Roxas, is there something you are not telling me? Like you're a pimp or a drug dealer or something?" Axel whispered as we reached another metal door. It started out with a chuckle then I couldn't help it. I clung to the wall then laughed hysterically. No one has ever _not_ asked me that question, but it was really hilarious when I turned to a serious looking redhead.

"Axel, have you ever heard of 'To assume makes an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me?" Axel stared at me blankly and I snickered. I tried to keep my composure while opening the heavy metal door that led to the heart of Misery Business.

The room was bright, but dim in some areas. People were already swarming the bar, or held a drink in their hands. Drunken men and women were sprawled out on the floors and tables while others took shots or played beer pong. The room itself was almost like any other bar, but more luxurious. A single chandelier hung from the ceiling, hefting millions of diamond-like crystals. The oak tables and leather seats bore no scratches or tears. The floor (well most of it minus the puke) was clean and reflected everything that stood or lay on top of it. (I think it is marble?) Anyone who would have walked in here for the first time, like Axel, would have thought this place was a bar part of a fancy hotel. I turned to said redhead, but wasn't surprised by the look of astonishment that masked his features. Looping my fingers around his, I guided him through a crowded table, then seated him next to me.

"Wanna play for money?" I asked slamming my hand to the table to catch the house dealer's attention. Axel shook his head 'no.' "Alright, but I thought it would be more fun if you joined." I pouted then turned my attention to the table to find my cards already dealt.

"Playing poker is like being a prostitute." Axel remarked eyeing me cautiously. "Besides aren't you a bit _too_ young to play games like these? I mean at my age I would, but you're fourteen if I'm not mistaken. I don't even know how you convinced that gorilla to let you in. Do your parents know about this?" I paused a moment looking down at my cards. I smiled.

A Royal Flush.

"Hey, are you listening to me?" Axel was clearly getting annoyed by my ignorance. That only made me smile more.

"I hear you Axel, it's just…" I paused then fished through my pockets to pull out a fifty. I tossed in my ante, and then fiddled with the corners of the cards held within my hands. "-it's just… you're the first person to tell me that." I mumbled waiting for all the other players to finish replacing cards. One by one, each person placed down their cards to reveal their hand until it came down to me. Slowly, I placed my cards down and grinned at the groans that erupted around the table.

xXxXx

We were kicked out of the bar by six. I was able to score over 2k in cash. Axel was completely silent, but I could feel the excitement radiating off him. I guided Axel through alleyways in order to avoid the dangers that lurked around the city. We were lucky not to encounter any in the alleys, and that I was thankful for. While we made our way back home, we made very little small talk. Some of it was about Axel's life in the orphanage. He had a total of six friends; most around his age. He had two best friends, and he kept to himself about everything else as we walked. I thought it was somewhat unfair when he talked openly about his life with my parents, although maybe he had his reasons. Trust issues maybe? Though I let it be brushed aside.

We were about twenty minutes away from home when I realized we passed the most important place of all.

"Hey Axel, wait. I forgot to show you something." I stopped looking around.

"Can't you show me another time? I'm starting to get tired and all the walking is adding to it. Not to mention I am getting hungry." Axel huffed turning to face me.

"Please Axel! I promise it will only take a sec!" I grabbed onto his jacket and tugged him down the road.

"H-Hey! Hold on!"

I took Axel to an abandoned two story house located next to an apartment building near a street corner. The house itself was painted a light baby blue, but it was chipping away from rain and wind erosion. Some of the shutters around the windows were either gone or broken off, and the metal shingles were rusting away. The windows were blocked by wooden boards, and there was a lock around the knob on the front door to make sure no one could get in. Though that only added to its eerier beauty. We went around the back that was filled with abandoned furniture and appliances. I explained to Axel that most of the appliances still worked, but no body even bothered to take them. Sometimes I would see homeless people dump their trash and items here. Really, this place was a miniature dump, but at least it didn't smell like one.

On the back of the two story house, there were four other blocked windows; Two on the bottom, and two more on the second floor. I went up to one of the bottom two windows, then took hold of the bottom corners and carefully lifted the board up. Inside was dark and greeted me with a musty smell, but it was the smell I welcomed. Crawling inside, I cautiously looked around and listened before I deemed it safe. I turned then signaled for Axel to come in.

"So you successfully broke in and entered an abandoned house that smells of sweaty people and rotten fruit mixed in with dust. Now what?"

"We go upstairs." I smiled happily dragging Axel through the room that was known as the kitchen, then into the empty living room. Furniture still lingered around the area, but it was now covered in dust and tore up to almost nothing. We found the stairs, then passed through a couple rooms until we reached the master bedroom. The room was completely empty except for the dust that lay around. From there, I walked to a door that was also a walk in closet that revealed an even smaller door leading to the attic. Axel was quiet and didn't bother to ask questions. The silence between us was kind of awkward, but I didn't let it bother me. We climbed a short flight of stairs and walked into darkness.

"Why are we here again?" Axel suddenly spoke making me drop a flashlight I brought with me. I picked it up and flipped it on.

"Hold on, it's not like I'm going to rape you or anything close to that." I hummed looking for the generator.

"Even if you did, I could still have-"

"Found it!" I squealed happily flipping the switch. There was a low buzz before the room was illuminated with a dull glow.

"Whoa."

"Whoa that's right." I giggled standing next to Axel and switched off my flashlight.

"The attic room was only one word, colorful. It was as if a bunch of hippies decided to have a hippie party in an attic. There were beads of every color hanging from the ceiling, rainbow peace signs and clover confetti littered the ground, lava lamps glowed as the pink globs moved about in the glass containers, and to top it all off, a water bed.

"This is my personal haven." I spoke breaking the silence. I walked to the water bed, and then sat on the cool liquid filled mattress.

"So are you telling me you're a hippie?" Axel said bluntly, eyes looking every which direction. I snorted.

"No, I like to come here when I want to be alone. Most of the time I come here to think, to get away from the world." I sighed as I laid back and sprawled myself on the dirty comforter. I tried not to mind the smell, but I was able to close my eyes. "This is the first time I ever brought anyone up here. I… I had always told myself to never let anyone see my secret haven."

"So then why did you show me?" Axel's back was to me fiddling with the beads on the low ceiling. I hesitated for a moment before I brought myself to sit upright. I watched  
Axel move about the room and separate the confetti in two piles.

Why did I show him? He's only been with us for over twenty four hours and I barely know the guy. I've kept this place hidden for as long as I could remember. I could have shown other people, people that I've known longer, although, I know I can be very possessive when it comes to things that are mine, and maybe at the time I was too selfish to let anyone know about it. I could have shown Sora, but he's a loudmouth. He would tell everyone that he knows, and most likely throw a party in my haven when I least expect it. Kairi and Xion were the same way, but Namine wouldn't have found any interest in it anyway. Though all four of them have never been in this side of town, so it would be pointless to baby-sit them since they don't have street smarts like I do. As for Axel on the other hand, he seems he could handle himself. I didn't have to worry about him when we walked around the streets. He didn't look at anybody the wrong way, and he knew when to keep his mouth shut when we were at the bar. He even managed to fend off some hookers and pedophiles looking for a quick screw. Axel can take care of himself, so he wouldn't have a hard time coming here by himself if he wanted. Though all this doesn't answer my question. What made me able to show a not so complete stranger something I treasured?

"Eagerness."

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**There we have it! Chapter 2~ You guys can figure out who said that last word in the end of the chapter because I didn't know who I wanted to say it the most. :l I don't play poker if you guys were wondering. So what do you think of Axel? He's a little on the harsh side, but we'll never know how his and Roxas' relationship will go. (Except me of course) I just watched my friends play so they could win lunch money during class when we have free time. I hope you enjoyed this 5k+ chapter as much as I did. I feel like it brings out the better of this story. =w= I was glad to hear from my beta that when Sora first meets, or should I say 'sees', Axel for the first time, that his rant is such a win! xD I would you guys feel that way too. Anyway, see you next time in the next chapter~**

**~RoXeEn**

**Comments, reviews, criticism? They are the jewels in my eyes *w***


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey people! :3**

**It was so awkward for me to listen to _Motivation_ by Kelly Rowland and type chapter 5 at the same time. ;w; It was funny actually, it gave me motivation too… in a non-sexual way. Anyway, this is when the story starts to get juicy :D This chapter has a lot more dialog in it than usual, but it will soon return to it's mostly paragraphs phase… sorry. D:**

**Please enjoy!**

**Warning!: There will be sadness, hurt, violence, rape, foul language, sexual themes, and smut in this story! If you can't stomach that crap, then don't read~!**

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Chapter 3

On Sunday I found the whole house oddly quite. My mother's Mustang was gone and so was my father's bike. I tried looking for Axel, but he was gone too. So in the end, I concluded that they just went out and didn't bother to tell me. I spent most of the day eating, sleeping, fiddling with my laptop, or… whatever. It pissed me off that my parents failed to tell me their plans. I could have gone to Eastside by now and scored more money, but now I am unaware of my parents schedule. I couldn't risk going anywhere when I didn't know when they'd return. I thought of having Sora over, but then I remembered that Sunday's were Sora's 'I'm to lazy do _JACK SHIT! _PUSSY OFF! DAY!'. I didn't bother with the girls because they filled their schedules to the rim with girl things to do. So far today, I just settled with doing things that I usually do when I'm home, which narrowed down to: eat, sleep, and use the Lou. (Do what the babies do)

It wasn't until late at night when the trio decided to return from their… wherever they went to. I had just gotten out of the shower when I head the loud 'bang' of the front door shut. Laughter erupted through the house making anything that stood on a hard surface (which was almost everything) shake. I heard conversation take place as it moved along upstairs. I hastily put on a pair of fuzzy blue pajama bottoms, then placed a towel over my head and shoulders that blocked the chill of the room.

"Roxas, look what Axel got you!" My ears perked when I heard the redhead mentioned.

_Axel got me something?_

Walking out of my room, I spotted my mother and Axel walking down the hall with shopping bags in hand. Axel was smiling at my mother before he noticed me. I was then very aware that I was standing in the hall shirtless, and I was very tempted to run back in my room and cower under a pillow when Axel looked me over. I clenched my hands around my towel trying to cover my blushing face. "_Why the hell am I so nervous right now?_" I thought trying my hardest not to make eye contact.

"It's the most adorable thing I've ever seen!" My mother smiled, as Axel gave me a medium sized translucent bag. The inside was riddled with tissue paper, but I made no waste of time to get to the gift inside. Shoving my hand in the bag, I grabbed something fuzzy then pulled it out, discarding the bag as if it was a piece of trash. It was an odd soft… creature? I didn't really know what to make of it. It was black, had big yellow eyes, and long zigzag shaped antlers. Mom said it was cute, but I couldn't really call it "cute" since I didn't even know what it was. Is this an ant? I glanced up at Axel unsure of what to do or say.

"It's not like I really wanted to get you anything, I just happened to be looking at it when your mom walked by and suggested I should buy it for you." Axel mumbled, but I was kind of taken aback from what he said. "Besides, it was your birthday and I thought it was kind of cute." Water from my hair trickled down my cheeks and neck. For now they were my imitation of tears of joy. I lounged forward and wrapped myself tight around Axel's middle, then squeezed with all my might. The redhead let out a little grunt, but I hadn't registered letting him go. He was very warm, and I could feel his muscles underneath his shirt.

They felt _very_ nice.

"Thank you Axel, it means a lot." I said into his clothing before giving a final squeeze then letting him go. "_Was that a bit… forward?"_ I thought as I eyed my new toy. Now that I really looked at it, it was kind of cute.

"Oh Roxas, I almost forgot to mention. Axel will be attending the same Academy with you tomorrow! Isn't that wonderful? Now you can introduce him to your friends!" My mother announced happily placing a hand on Axel's shoulder. I was a bit surprised to hear the news, but was not very pleased that we would be in separate classes since I knew he was a few years older than me; although, I decided to put on a happy face for the moment. My mother further explained the details, then left her merry way leaving Axel and I in the hall. Axel watched her go then turned to me with a blank expression. Just the two of us standing in the empty hall was really awkward. Axel looked as if he didn't want to converse with anyone right now, but I was really curious about his day.

"S-so… how was your day?" I began, but Axel walked right past me ignoring my question. He waltz straight into his room, then threw his bag onto his bed, then flopped down beside them. A little annoyed with his ignorant attitude, I tried again.

"Axel, how was your-"

"Fine." Axel answered bluntly cutting me off.

"Um… did you like the-"

"They weren't all that great."

"Did you meet anyone-"

"No."

"What did you get?"

"Stuff."

"Well, did anything fun happen a-"

"No!" Axel yelled making me flinch. I really didn't want Axel annoyed with me. I just really wanted to talk with him. I hadn't seen him all day, and I wanted to get back the time I lost to bond with him.

"O-Oh, I-I'm sorry. I must be getting annoying right now, heh. Well then, I'll just go to bed and leave you be. Um, Goodnight… Axel." I clenched my new plushie to my chest scurrying back to my room, and made sure I didn't leave room for further conversation.

I grabbed my forgotten towel off my head, and flung it into my dirty laundry basket. It was bad enough that Axel was already annoyed with me. I didn't want to start off on the wrong foot with our not-so budding relationship, but it had only been two days. I walked up to my bed, then turned and fell backwards to land on my back. I held the toy above me not caring that my damp hair was getting my pillow wet. I stared at it for a moment, thinking how its big yellow eyes seemed to glow the longer I stared at them. As I stared, I could feel a strange air coming from it. It was like those foot tall dolls that my mother used to collect, and if you stared at them at night it felt like they were giving off this weird air and seemed to be watching you. It was really creepy to say the least, but I wasn't getting the same feeling from this plushie. I brought it down to my bare chest, and then closed my eyes. Suddenly, it felt like all my emotions were being sucked away.

xXxXx

Sora gawked at _him_; he ignored _him_. I would have too if Axel didn't give off that vibe that made me want to sink deeper within myself and hide in a ditch. I could tell that Axel was getting irritated with Sora's obsessive staring, but everybody other than me did as we neared the school. I left Sora by the entrance then showed him to the main office to grab his schedule. I was surprised to find that Axel and I had the same lunch period. I was glad, but Axel didn't give a damn. After showing Axel his Homeroom, he said he could handle things on his own. Once we left the High school Section of the Academy, then entered the Middle school section, Sora blew up.

"THAT GUY IS SO FUCKING TALL! DID YOU SEE HIS HAIR? IT WAS LIKE, FIRETRUCK RED! HIS EYES! THEY WERE SO GREEN THAT I NEARLY CRAPPED MYSELF, AND I SWEAR MY SOUL WOULD HAVE BEEN SHITTED OUT TOO! I MUST HAVE BEEN A SPECK TO HIM! DO YOU FEEL LIKE THAT WHEN YOU STAND NEXT TO HIM? HIS FACE! IT'S SO ANGULAR! LIKE A GOOD LOOKING TRIANGLE! DID YOU SEE HIS CHEEKBONES? I THOUGHT-"

"Yes, Sora, I get the point, and how could I _not_ notice these things about him when I _LIVE _with him!" I huffed already getting annoyed with him. Sora stopped suddenly, but I didn't notice until I couldn't feel his presence. He looked at me curiously at first, then tilted his head to the side.

"Roxas, is there something wrong?" Sora asked, concern instantly crossing his features trying to meet my gaze. I looked away trying not to meet his. Sora had this uncanny ability to know when I am upset, frustrated, or angry. Sometimes I think he has a sixth sense, but he could only tell with me and not anyone else. He told me he could also sense my negative emotions even when I'm not around him. Although, no matter how much I try to avoid him, he would somehow get me to tell him the contents of my heart.

"We'll take about this later Roxas, fist bell is about to ring. See ya." Sora whispered in my ear before walking off to class.

"Yeah, see you"

xXxXx

Everybody was staring at the new kid that was sitting at the throne. Girls giggled, squealed, or gushed about the new guy that was lucky enough to sit at the throne. All the guys huffed and snickered, thinking of ways to castrate the redhead that wooed their women without effort. All the while, I stared down at my food trying to ignore Sora's glances. I recently tried to start up conversation with Axel, but he was too busy talking with everyone else at the table. I sighed, playing with a pea on my tray. Sora persistently poked me and called my name trying to get my attention, but I wasn't in my best defense, so I let him.

"I'm just a little frustrated Sora, not a big deal."

"Yes it is."

"No it's not Sora, can we please leave it alone?"

"But we haven't even started."

"All the more reason to." I grumbled getting up from my seat to throw away my untouched food, but before I could even get up, Sora pulled me down by the wrist then brought his lips close to my ear."

"It's about Axel isn't it?"

"Yeah." I sighed, I whispering back.

"Bad first impression?"

"Worst!"

"What happened?" He grabbed both my hands and placed them on his knees. Sora liked to use touch response whenever he dealt with people and their problems.

"Well, upon meeting him for the first time… I found myself…" I pause then blushed. I kept wriggling my fingers around Sora's trying to think of a better way to say this without Sora overeating.

"You found yourself…?" Sora quirked an eyebrow urging to go on.

"Uh… well um… it was really awkward."

"How so? Come on, get on with it."

"I'm trying to get to the point, but…"

"Then get on with it."

"I practically tackled him to the floor and straddled him, ok!" I hissed the words falling out of my mouth faster than I could stop them. I already regretted giving in, for Sora shot up from his seat and screamed to the top of his little lungs.

"You _**WHAT**_?" Sora shrieked above all the noises of the cafeteria.

"Sora please! You're going to make a scene." I cried hiding my face in my arms in an attempt to hide my blush from the world. I could hear the room growing quiet, and could feel the eyes of everyone staring at Sora and me. My cheeks felt like they were on fire.

"You're lying! I would _die_ if I did that to anyone, but _**SERIOUSLY**_?"

"No, I'M NOT! PLEASE SIT DOWN ALREADY. YOU'RE EMBARRSSING ME!"I hissed turning away from him only to find Axel glancing straight at me with curious eyes. My blush must have deepened a thousand shades darker.

"Okay, okay people go back to your tea party and shit cakes. Nothing to see here." Sora huffed. Everyone obeyed and wasted no time filling the room with chatter and laughter. Axel was staring at me at this point, and it was making me very uncomfortable. I turned away facing Sora, hoping we could continue even though he might start another scene.

"You straddled him?" Sora whispered, shock still written on his face.

"I-I didn't mean to! I just ran in and the next thing I know, I was on top of him! Gawd, it was so embarrassing!

"You weren't sexually frustrated at the time, were you?" I smacked Sora really hard as he snickered then became serious again.

"Then why then?" I sighed laying my head on his shoulder. Sora placed a hand up top my head then stroked my locks. I blushed when I heard a chain of "Aww's," but I tried to ignore them.

"It's because… it's just… ever since then, I haven't had a proper conversation with him. Every time I try, it's like he pushes me away, or is too engrossed with a conversation he is already having. I… I think he doesn't like me." I said, mumbling my last few words. I pouted when Sora suddenly stopped stroking.

"Well you know, he's only been here for two and a half days. He is still adjusting and maybe is just taking his time getting used to it. He may not understand you, but at the same time, you don't understand him." Sora shifted forcing me to pull myself up and look him in the eyes. "How about you look at it in his point of view? From what I know, he's from an orphanage, probably lost more than just his parents, next thing he knows he's suddenly adopted into a family he doesn't know, now has a 'little brother,' and is surrounded by complete strangers. Not to mention that he had to leave his old family behind to be with yours." I took everything Sora said, thinking what it would have been like to be in his shoes, but I couldn't. I had everything given to me, and never lost anything that was of great value. Everything I wanted was at my finger tips, but I could never picture myself in Axel's situation. It's was hard to even now. I tried to follow through the best I could as Sora continued. "All you have to do, Roxas, is give him more time. He'll eventually open his mind and heart to you if you be patient; nothing to fuss over. Just allow him his needed time, and remove yourself from him for a bit. Try not to force yourself on him too much before you wiggle yourself inside."

"Sora, you make it sound like I'm going to rape him." I grumbled before cracking a smile.

"At least I made you spew." Sora chuckled, and then I punched him a good number of times on the forearm.

"Sora, disgusting!" I laughed alongside with him.

xXxXx

I stared at my clock reading the red digits that read 11:23 pm. My bed time was always at nine, but tonight I found myself unable to sleep. Next to the clock sat my plushie, Shadow. I decided to name it that because at night when I lay in the darkness of my room, it looks like two huge yellow orbs are floating in a sea of darkness. I grabbed for it, and then rolled over snuggling it to my chest, brushing my fingers along its soft artificial pallet. It calmed me as I thought about the events that took place today. After confronting Sora, I paid no heed to Axel. I plan to do exactly what Sora had advised me to do, and not attempt conversation with Axel. I'll admit, the first two days with him hadn't been all too exciting, but like any other person he was most likely stressed from the move. I felt like a complete dick when I had not realized this, so I was determined to give Axel all the space he needs.

I snuggled Shadow closer to me, breathing in his new toy smell. Placing a kiss on his fuzzy head, I sleepily closed my eyes and dreamt. It was a very odd dream I could say the least. I dreamt of Axel and I was there too. We were staring at each other… just staring. Neither of us blinked, moved, or even seemed to be breathing. WE stood in darkness only able to see each other as if we were glowing in the empty space. We stayed like that throughout the whole dream. Neither of us shifted our gaze from one another to find anything that is of more interest. It was like the other was more interested in not noticing the other "thing" present in the space. It wasn't until the end of my dream did I realize Shadow's eyes glowing and a faint whisper echoing through the empty void.

"How long?"

_It was strange. I've asked myself that question_

_ever since…_

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**PLEZ READ! There it is! Chapter 3! I really liked the dream Roxas had in this chapter. It makes things a lot creepier than it has to be. My Beta said she had a really bad feeling about the doll Axel gave Roxas. I would have too if I didn't write the story. :D Give me your opinions of the story if you wish. PM me if you have a question about the story, or if you want to know a little what will happen in the next chapter. I am giving everyone 3 free questions to ask, but I'm just doing this a few times! Ask your questions carefully!**

**Until next time!**

**~RoXeEn**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello people c:**

**Okay, know this is not much of a chapter, but this was all I could manage at the time D: I was having a major writers block, I just could think of something else to add instead of making it one big chapter. :l Don't worry I have something later on for you guys later on today, promise :D**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Meh…. Don't own….**

**Warning!: There will be sadness, hurt, violence, rape, foul language, sexual themes, and smut in this story! If you can't stomach that crap, then don't read~!**

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Chapter 4

I stared at my clock. It was now exactly 12 PM; a full twenty four hours, and sleep still hasn't taken me yet. Shadow was nestled on top of my stomach as I lay on my back. I sighed and rolled around my bed until my sheets became a tangled mess. I flopped around until I finally ended up on the floor groaning in dull pain from the impact. Recently, I've started to feel lonely. Slowly, I was drifting away from my friends for the past couple of weeks, and I had no idea why. It was really making my feel empty inside, and it scared me. Currently, it was very quite in my home. I was feeling no emotion except the calmness of an empty house. My parents were gone, and they took Axel with them. Lately, my parents have been taking Axel places and haven't been taking me with them. I really want to go with them most times, but they're gone before I even got to know the highlight of their day. Though when I happen to be there with them, they shift most of their attention to Axel. It wasn't like they were ignoring me; they were filling him in about facts, stories, and other things about Twilight town that I could care less about. That only led me to keep to myself most of the time, or try to add the little things I know about our huge town. From today, it has been almost three weeks since Axel's arrival. I tried to follow the advice Sora gave me, but as the days wore on, little conversation was made and it really stated to bug me. I didn't exactly push conversation with Axel, but when I did, it only ended with small talk. All the things I know about Axel was what I heard from other people. Not once for an entire three weeks has Axel openly talked about himself to me. I was beginning to think that Axel truly didn't like me, and would rather be with other people than me. I wondered if it was something I said or did that made him want to draw himself away from me. I don't remember saying anything foul against him, or doing something of the like. When I showed Axel Eastside, he didn't seem to be bothered. Maybe… maybe it must have been the way I displayed myself. I did tell him I drank, but it wasn't something I did often. I probably should have said that I do it when I'm under a lot of stress or very depressed. Or was it because I showed him I could gamble? I truthfully don't really have a clue as to why Axel acts this way towards me. Not only that, I'm starting to notice things, but they're little things. Nothing to be worried about… I guess?

So far Axel has done a great job adjusting. School is not a problem for him, and it seems he's making new friends by the minute. He goes out with his new friends some nights, but is always back by curfew. He already has a girlfriend, (much to my mother's delight, for some odd reason) and Sora and the others have already taken a liking to him. (Especially the girls) Teachers aren't having a problem with him, and from what I've heard, he was the class favorite. Always cracking jokes and making people laugh. At this time I kind of wish I was someone else. I really wanted to experience what Axel was like whenever I was not around. It didn't take me long to get jealous of the people that ate up his attention like mongrels, only leaving me nothing but the scraps. It saddened me how much little time I get to be around him. Ever since these three weeks, I haven't been able to attempt or achieve some bonding. Things haven't been going the way I hoped, but this was still only the beginning. I don't want to push things, and my need to get closer to my 'big brother' isn't helping my patience. I am still determined to find a way to Axel, and start a proper brotherly bond.

_How long though?_

I rolled over feeling the soft carpet floors, and being careful not to bend one of Shadow's bendable ears. I stared down at his glowing yellow eyes, and finally started to feel sleepy. Whenever I'd had troubling nights like this one, I always relied on Shadow to give me what I needed. He sucked away all my negative and positive emotions only to leave me a tired, emotionless blob. At first I thought it was strange, but I grew accustomed to the feeling every night I slept with him. He was becoming my comfort item, and he gave or took away whatever I wanted. Let it be emotions and things like sleep.

Downstairs, I could hear the sound of the front door opening and closing. I head laughter and jokes flying around. Strangely, I didn't feel like going down to greet my parents and Axel. It was unusual, yes, but at the moment… I could really give less than two fucks. I cuddled Shadow closer to my chest and shut my eyes.

I smiled.

_I never realized how much this toy was becoming part _

_of my being…_

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**You can start throwing rocks at me. I know. Though your three free questions still remains. Well, they can only go as far to a certain extant that won't spoil the whole story. See you later today ;D**

**~RoXeEn**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi again :D**

**I'm really sorry guys D: I promised I would upload another chapter on the same day, but I couldn't. My mother was using up the computer and he power wet out for a few hours ;~; REAL SORRY . Please forgive me D:**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: You know what I want to say…**

**Warning!: There will be sadness, hurt, violence, rape, foul language, sexual themes, and smut in this story! If you can't stomach that crap, then don't read~!**

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Chapter 5

"Hey, Sora, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Shh, Roxas! Axel is getting to the good part!"

"But it has been a while and I really-"

"Save it for later. I'll call you_ then_ we can talk about whatever it is you want." Sora waved a dismissive hand at me trying to concentrate on Axel than me.

I turned away from Sora then sighed as I stabbed my fork into my untouched salad. I noticed I've been losing weight lately. I'm not hungry like I used to be these days, and it's affecting my eating pattern. Although, that's not the only thing I noticed. I got up picking up my plate, and then removed myself from the table. So far no one has noticed my leaving, and it has been like that for almost half a year now. It is like all of a sudden I am nonexistent to the world, and no matter how much I try to maintain my social life, it keeps crumbling away through my fingers. But, that's not the only thing in my life that has changed dramatically.

xXxXx

"Mrs. Tifa, I'm home!" Axel's voice echoed through the foyer as he kicked off his shoes.

_Hey mom, I'm home from school…_ I smiled waiting for my mother to emerge from wherever she was.

"Oh, Axel, how was school? Made any new friends?" My mother appeared from the garage with a smile on her face. She wore a_ very_ thin, practically see-through, tank top, and tiny short shorts. Axel wasn't fazed. I don't know when he got used to my parents distaste for concealing clothing.

_No mom, for some reason they talk to me less and less like you and father... you guys are ignoring me…_

"Actually, I bumped into an old friend back from the orphanage." Axel beamed walking towards the kitchen, my mother falling into step.

"Really? That's wonderful! What's his name?"

_His name is Jack Daniels, and I'll be drinking him tonight…_

"His name is Demyx. We've been good friends ever since I was taken to the orphanage with him and Riku. His parents were killed a day before mine, but he nearly flooded the whole orphanage when he heard I was being adopted." Axel chuckled with my mother as they made their way up the stairs then into the kitchen. I followed, but just then my father walked in. I smiled at him as he headed my way.

_Hello father, I'm going to get drunk tonight. Would you care to join me since I know you love to drink on Friday nights… _

"Yo, Axel! How's my boy?" Cloud called walking past me to greet Axel. My smile didn't falter while I watched the three park their asses on their designated chairs.

I watched them converse for a while before I decided to leave the room. They wouldn't notice I left. They were too absorbed in themselves or each other to realize it. Nowadays I can barely –oh so barely- keep a conversation going with my parents. When I try to speak to Cloud, he sometimes mumbles or gives me a one word sentence. He doesn't look me in my eye as much as he used to, or give me rides on Fenrir. Now I realize that he lets Axel have the privilege since he sometimes doesn't walk with us to school. Though he is past compare to my mother. Tifa won't even bat an eye at me anymore. Usually when I come around, she acts like she has something better to do than acknowledge my presence. I would have to chase her around the house in order to get one word out of her. She'd always have a gloomy or bored face when she was somewhere with me, but instantly light up when Axel popped by. Both of my parents did this whenever Axel was around.

I know that parents have favorites when it comes to children and Axel is theirs. They desire him more than me. They take him out to places almost every night and "accidentally" forget to take me. Even though it hurts, I try not to let it bother me. No matter how many lies they tell me, I always manage to put a smile on my face. I want Axel to feel comfortable living with my family, so I'm trying my best to give him all he needs; even if that means spending loads of time with my parents. I want to spend time with them too, but they're are taking advantage of my 'positive' emotions as an excuse to take me out of attending activities with them because they know I would smile and shake it off. I don't want to show them that I am saddened, depressed, stressed out, and hurt by their actions. I want things to get better soon, but it has already been almost half a year already. Things have to change for the better.

_They have to…_

I slowly padded my way across my parent's hardwood floor in their master bedroom. Their room was quite large, maybe fit for a king or queen, but fairly large. I walked to my father's dresser, then opened the bottom shelf. Lo' and Behold, Mr. Jack Daniels lay on his comfy spot beside all my father's fancy wine.

I snatched up the bottle, and slammed the drawer shut then briskly walked to my room. Once there, I locked my door, flipped on the lights, and threw myself on the bed. I unscrewed the top of the whiskey bottle and then held it up above me in the air. Turning my head to the left, I spotted Shadow.

"To you." I whispered bringing the bottle back down to my lips. Throwing my head back, I drank.

xXxXx

It didn't take me long to get _officially_ drunk. The next thing I knew I was giggling, and had a horrible case of the hiccups. I had my new cell phone in one hand, and a laptop in the other. For all I knew, I was talking to some stranger on facebook that strangely looked so much like me. I think we were talking about puppies? I wasn't really quite sure since I dialed Sora's number for the… how many times? It didn't matter since all I got was his voicemail. I vigorously remember leaving him one, but I had already forgotten what I said the moment I started to cry for some reason.

I picked up the bottle; then later realized that it was empty when I kept swallowing air. I frowned, then got up on swaying feet and stumbled my way to my window. It took me a while to remember how to open the window, but I gave out a triumphant cry when I finally did. Then suddenly a flash of anger went through me. I clenched the bottle in a tight grip, and gritted my teeth together. For some reason I felt really, _**really**_ angry, but I don't know why.

"FUCK YOU, JACK!" I yelled hurdling the bottle out the window, then watched it sail and hit a bike parked in front of out lawn. There was a loud "_thonk_" sound, and I had just realized that I hit my father's bike.

"Oops." I giggled then hiccupped. Suddenly, I felt really,_ really_ hungry. My stomach growled loudly, and I had the taste for something sweet. Cake sounded like a good fucking idea right now.

I hiccupped then turned around on swaying feet out the door. Everything looked like it was spinning. Every time I blinked, it looked like the hallway was spinning at an angle. It was entertaining actually, and I kept thinking someone was singing the Muffin man song. Eventually I sang along and laughed every time I faltered singing the lyrics thanks to my hiccups. I successfully made it down the stairs, tripping once, then finally to the kitchen unharmed. The television was on in the other room, and I could hear my parents and Axel laughing. They must have been watching some comedy show or something, but I was too preoccupied with my stomach to see what they were watching.

"Pfft, fuck them. Why waste my time when I can have fun with myself? Those… *hic* … asses." I grumbled as I opened the fridge to look for any left over cake.

I squealed happily when I finally spotted the triple chocolate cake my stomach was crying for. Although, when I reached for it, something else rose up in my throat and threatened to flood my mouth. I rushed away from the fridge to reach the sink, but I barely made it when vomit jetted from my mouth, onto the floor, and parts of the sink. For what seemed like forever, I threw up the contents of my stomach into the sink until I dry heaved. I should have known I couldn't hold my liquor very well, but at times not-so similar to this, I couldn't help it. I slumped over the sink clinging to the edge as if my life depended on it. The whole world was spinning, and there was nothing I could do to make it stop. Slowly, my body fell over the side then landed on something cold yet wet. Everything dimmed then became a blur until I lost consciousness.

xXxXx

I woke up much later to find myself lying on the kitchen floor with a bad taste in my mouth. My throat burned really badly, and the realization of just waking up in my vomit didn't make it any better. Reaching out, I grabbed for anything I could use for a support to get me up. I instantly regretted it when the world turned into a whirlpool. My vision was blurred, but thankfully I had all my other senses. I could hear laughter coming from family room and the blaring television. Moving around the vomit painted floor, I clung to the wall for support as I made my way to the source. Quietly, I peaked into the family room. The television was toned into Comedy Central, and Axel was sitting between my parents watching Dane Cook. A flash of negative emotions washed through me as I watched the three bark with laughter and make small comments to his jokes.

It was six months ago when I was there sitting in between my parents watching comedies and laughing with them. It was six months ago when my father would take me out to Carvel Ice-cream every time he had off. It was six months ago when my mother would ask me how my day at school was, or take me with her to outings. It was six months ago when they would both smile down at me like I was the most special thing in their world. They always did something with me when they had the time. They always made sure I had everything I needed. Now… I don't even know if that love is there anymore. As much as I want look them in the eye, I'm scared that that love is gone when they turn the other way. It's like my parents try to think I don't exist anymore. Always avoiding being alone with me, and spending all their time with someone they haven't spent their lifetime with. Slowly, my friends were doing and becoming the same way. I could stop it, or the hurt I received from it.

_They were leaving me completely… alone_

I swallowed a large lump in my throat and quickly turned away. I didn't want to watch this anymore nor did I have to. I tried the best I could to run up the stairs and down the hall to my bathroom. I decided to take a shower and go straight to bed . I was still in my drunken state, so everything still seemed to be moving on its own. I had to chase down the bar of soap because it somehow keeps getting out of my grip. It was laughing and running around me in circles, and it angered me that that slippery son of a bitch was taking advantage of my unsober state. It was then that I stopped what I was doing to see that big picture of what was really happening.

_That bar of soap was my life._

Before it was wet, I had a grip on it. It wouldn't slip out of my fingers, and I could, or used to, mold it however I pleased. I used to have control in my life. But now it is wet. The water is eroding the soap away to liquid nothing little by little. Now I can't get a hold of it. No matter how tight I grip their hand and no matter how I purposely get in their face to get their attention, they always slip right through my fingers. My life… _my world_ was being washed away, and the water was all to blame.

The water ran cold and I was starting to shiver. I quickly stepped out of the shower, and felt a little more sober than before. I picked up my clothes from the floor, but didn't bother to wrap myself with a towel as I walked out of the bathroom into my bedroom. Throwing my clothes elsewhere I climbed onto bed and air dried. Shadow was lying on top of one of my pillows, but I didn't want to cuddle with him tonight. I didn't want to… I didn't have the heart to, but I knew he'd understand. The window was still open, and cold air rushed in making me shiver all over again. I was too damn lazy to get up and close it, and I didn't care if I got a cold from it. It was not like anyone would notice my state of well being, and I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I curled up into a tight ball lying in the darkness of my room. It was quiet, so quiet. My mind was filled with thoughts, and I didn't have the strength to process them.

I didn't want to think. Before long, my cheeks were becoming wet. My eyes stung every time I blinked, and the constant flow of liquid from my eyes wasn't making it any better. Snot was leaking from my nose, but everything wouldn't stop. The tears, the snot, the sniffling; everything wouldn't stop no matter how much I wanted it to. I furiously wiped at my eyes and breathed in deeply to halt the tears, but that only triggered me to sob heavily and wail.

_They never heard me even when I yelled loud or cried hard._

_Eventually, I stopped trying to change things, but instead contemplated and smiled on._

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**I don't have much to say except your three free questions still remain. **

**Reviews and Criticism plez! Until next time~**

**~RoXeEn**


	6. Chapter 6

'**Ello there ;D**

**PLEASE READ!**

**I've received a comment asking when Axel will get around to Roxas. Well, honestly I don't know _exactly_ when, but you should know that all that has been happening so far is the past coming up to the present. (Hence the story description) I decided it was time to finally hear Axel's side of the story for those Axel lovers out there :D Sorry it's another short chapter, but chapter 7 is a lot longer than I expected, and it's taking me a while to write down. ._. Honestly I'm getting really excited about the next chapter, and I hope you guys will too when it comes to it. :D**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: WiSh I oWnEd…..**

**Warning!: There will be sadness, hurt, violence, rape, foul language, sexual themes, and smut in this story! If you can't stomach that crap, then don't read~!**

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Chapter 6

{Roxas POV}

My birthday is nearing and nothing has changed. My parents… I don't even want to talk about them anymore. Sora and the others hand officially ceased to speak to or acknowledge me. I've completely lost hope of ever reaching Axel. I've tried everything I could that didn't involve anything serious. In the end, I decided to give up on everything… and everyone. I gave up my position on the throne because I didn't seem to have a place on it anymore. I sit alone for lunch now and any other activities that involve being in a group. Everyday I bring Shadow to school. I keep him hidden my back pack even though I know no one would see him. I've noticed that I started to fancy cosmetics more. Eyeliner and eye shadow has become a necessity for me. I very rarely apply lip stick or lip gloss in public, but often when alone. I wear more hoodies and dark clothing too, and anyone who would have noticed would have thought I was going goth or something. No one has yet to comment my transformation on the Westside, but in the Eastside, I get plenty. I travel downtown a lot more than I should. Mostly I go to gamble or return to my hippie haven. I'm getting cat calls and constantly hit on left and right when I pass the streets or just hang around in the bar. I try to ignore them, but it's getting harder and harder not to. It's tempting to flirt and taunt them, but if I did, I know someone would eventually snatch me up. I don't have the slightest clue as to why I find this interesting, but everything is changing.

Must I change too?

xXxXx

{Axel POV}

Today was the usual with the mix of Riku and Demyx. I'm passing all my classes just fine with A's and B's. Everything has turned out great ever since I was adopted almost a year ago. I never would have thought I would be adopted by a rich family like the Strife's. They are like a bottomless piggybank, but I won't complain. I'm actually really glad they adopted me to begin with. I finally have the chance to experience things I wouldn't have at the orphanage. So far I'm loving my life with my new family. I'm making plenty of friends, and I've recently met up with two of my dear friends from the orphanage, Riku and Dem. I was surprised too see them attending Twilight Academy during half the year of my schooling. Riku lately has been getting close to that Sora kid, and they seem to becoming close friends. I see them hang out all the time. One would have thought they were conjoined to the hip. I've already gotten used to Sora after a few months of his being, and he decided to deem me a "Sunshine king." Apparently, I am now part of some Royalty thingy because my red hair (to Sora's definition) 'lights the room with a bright fiery red glow!' Riku and Demyx are also Sunshine Kings, but I forgot their reasons.

Everything has been going great with school life and home life, but there is one 'thing' that has been bugging me the whole time I've been here. No one seems to notice this but me.

_Roxas…_

This child was strange, and weirded me out from the beginning. He always seemed to be desperate for something, and would often come or stand by me trying to strike up a conversation that obviously didn't work. It's not like I dislike the boy, but I try to avoid him at all cost. Something about him made me not want to approach him. Whenever I looked in his huge azure blue eyes, there was always something lurking in them. Truthfully, it scared me that I couldn't fathom what it could be. In the beginning, he would follow me around like a lost puppy with huge sparkly puppy eyes; as if eagerly waiting for his next treat. Now, he keeps to himself all the time. He rarely approaches anyone, and mostly stays silent. I don't know the last time he has spoken to anyone, but I would always see his lips move but no sound come out. Rarely would I see him talking to that little black plushie I gave him when he's alone.

Now that I thought about it, Roxas has been by himself for almost half the year. He doesn't hang out with his friends anymore, and he never goes out with his parents for outings. He, well I think he does, stays in his room all the time. As soon as he comes home from school, that's the first place he goes. From then on, he never surfaces until dinner time. Even at dinner, Roxas is silent. He doesn't engage in conversation, and his face is always blank. He never touches his food, and always seems to mumble something every time either of his parents asks me a question.

Though the strangest thing about the child is his constant smiling. It wasn't just any old smile. It wasn't that smile that was contagious, the one that lights up his face, or the fake smile you smile at the not so interesting topic you're talking about. It was a sad _**eerie**_ smile. He wore it all the time like a mask. It was obvious he didn't want people to see his true emotions, but what made me the most uneasy about him was that smile… and the dark look in his eyes.

I have also noticed Roxas' change in wardrobe. He dresses more in darker clothing than his usual bright ones. They're mostly checked with a lot of mixes of black. It's like he dresses to blend in with the shadows; to be away from the world and its inhabitants (This also added to his eerie atmosphere). He's been wearing makeup lately as well. It wasn't all those obnoxious stuff like blush, lipstick, lip gloss, mascara, and stuff like that. Usually whenever I notice him, he would wear black or colored eyeliner or eye shadow. I thought it was odd really, and he must have been going through a phase with all this sudden change.

There wasn't anything positive or negative I could say about him. He changed, people change, crowds change, the world is changing, but _everything _changes. To tell the truth, I am way too busy to realize how much things change outside my inner circle, but Roxas was something that I took note of from time to time. (How could I not? I live with him) Though I wasn't really concerned with what he is doing to care. Right now, all I care about is my upcoming birthday, and all the people I'm going to invite. This is the first time I've ever gotten a huge birthday party, and I'm really looking forward to it.

_After my 17th birthday, everything started to go downhill._

_It was also the day when I **really** started to regret my actions…_

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**Things are getting a little hot in here. :l Your three questions still remain!**

**Reviews and Criticism please :D**

**Until next time,**

**~RoXeEn**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey everyone :D**

**I nearly cried typing the end of this ;_; Sorry for the upper long wait D: I finally got my L4D2 game for the PC and I was playing it all day xD Gawd I love that game. :3 Anyway sorry again for the wait!**

**Enjoy!**

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Chapter 7

Everyone is just starting to arrive. Sora, Kairi, Namine, Xion, Hayner, Pence, Olette, and a few of Axel's friends came early to help set up the party. Everything happened quicker then I expected, but I was ready.

_Everything was ready._

I watched relatives and friends exit their cars and enter the house from my bedroom window. I almost smiled when I saw grandma Fetus being helped out of her small blue Buggy by a man unknown to me. It was not too long ago when my grandfather passed away. Even though I rarely saw my grandpa, I miss him and the Mud Pies he'd make me whenever he did. I found it kind of funny that my grandfather was the more 'feminine' type from the two's relationship while grandma was the more 'manly' type. They were perfect for each other in just that way. Grandfather made everything fun and interesting, and it saddened me that I will no longer be able to enjoy another moment with him. At least I still get to have the little light that was the apple of his eye before he left.

I decided to move away from the window when I got tired of watching people. Instead I looked around my room. My room was immaculate, and everything was set in their correct places. My bed was made with clean sheets; everything was dusted, vacuumed, or wiped down. Fresh cloths were put away in their respected drawers or closet hanger.

_All was good…_

For the hundredth time tonight, I checked myself in the mirror. My face looks better than it has in the last few months ago. My hair is cleaner and brighter then I remember. Really, I look and feel better then I have in a while. I have been bettering myself for today especially and I aim to get my point across.

…_this very special day._

I finished up rearranging my hair, and checked for anything embarrassing before I placed a huge smile on my face. Walking out of the bathroom then into the hallway, I could hear music flowing from down stairs. I could hear the loud laughter of my parents and a few others over the music, but it didn't surprise me at all. They were always like this during parties. Barely paying attention to their surroundings, but the drinks in their hands or the conversation that was being held. Though tonight, I plan to make them pay attention to me. Even if it's just for a little while.

_It has been a while since we last spoken._

I raced down the hall, down a flight of stairs, and into the foyer, Friends and family were gathered in the large area getting acquainted with one another. I smiled when I spotted my grandmother sitting on a chair on the far side of the large room. The man I saw before was standing beside her looking out into the crowd. A frown was on his face and he looked incredibly bored. I decided to pay no heed to the man and make my way to my grandmother.

"Grandma!" I sang kneeling on the floor lowering myself to her level. The woman was quite short, but she never had a problem with it. I liked her like this.

"Huh, oh! Hello there, sugar. How have you been?" She smiled sweetly placing a prunny hand upon my cheek. "You are becoming a man faster than my eyes can follow." I chuckled lightly removing her hand from my cheek and into my hands.

"I've been… well. How are you fairing, grandma?"

"Well… that is part of the reason why I am here, sunny." I noticed her smile waver a bit and I could already guess why.

"Don't worry grandma, grandpa is in a better p-…" My grandmother raised her hand to stop me. A smile still shone on her face as she shook her head not breaking eye contact.

"No, that's not it, Roxas." Her smile turned sad.

_I was amazed to have my name spoken for once all this year._

I stared at her confused, but waited for her to continue explaining; she didn't.

"Because today is my birthday?" That was an obvious reason.

"That… is part of it, but I won't be able to stay with you to celebrate very long." Her expression became sullen, and immediately I turned concerned.

"Grandma?" Her grip on my hand tightened though she hadn't broken eye contact. I had the feeling this was becoming serious. "Is there something wrong?" I was shocked when she smiled and nodded. She sighed deeply and closed her eyes as if she was going to say a huge confession. In my opinion, it was.

"I have some bad news my dear. You see, I am dying… dying of cancer." She whispered keeping her eyes unopened.

"What?" That was all I could say at the moment, for what I heard I really hoped I misheard. This can't be happening…

"I am too far gone to be cured or treated. I have up to next month to live and there is nothing the doctors can do but ease the pain. Now that my dear husband is gone, the doctors have given me this kind Sir to help these old bones. I wanted to tell you this before I am gone. When I remembered your birthday was near, I thought it would be a good opportunity to tell you. I know this is supposed to be a "Happy Birthday," this news must be a damper on your end. I am really sorry how things are turning out to be, but I wanted to see your handsome face before I take my leave. I don't plan on telling your parents any of this, but I hope you can do this for me in my place." I watched my grandmother slowly open her eyes that were filled with pure sadness but no tears. Anyone else that would have looked her in the eyes at this moment probably wouldn't see the little hope that lingered in them. This can't be happening…

I was too stunned to reply or do anything after what my grandmother had announced. I was too shocked to hear what the man had whispered to my grandma. I was flabbergasted when I hadn't notice the both of them leave and head for the door. Quickly, I got up and ran after my retreating figure of my grandparent go through the open door and out into the parkway. I shivered as I ran down the front lawn and reach her in record time before she entered her awaiting vehicle.

"Grandma Fetus!" I shouted grabbing her remarkably warm hand. She turned to me with a warm smile and eyes, and waited to hear what I had to say.

"I… I know grandpa can't wait to see you. I can tell he is very eager too." I smiled wrapping my arms around her fragile waist. "Tell him… tell him I said 'Hi'" I whispered in her ear before letting all but her hand go.

_I had hoped that our final goodbye wouldn't end like this._

"I will, Roxas. I promise." She winked then released herself from my grip. I was already beginning to miss the warmth of her hand and her love… the love I hadn't experienced in a long while. It almost hurt.

I watched the man help her into her blue Buggy, and drive away from their grassy parking area on the lawn. I followed the car up the driveway, and smiled and waved when my grandmother rolled down her window to wish me a Happy Birthday. I watched with a fleeting smile as the little blue Buggy drove away.

_You don't need to worry. We'll be far apart now, but I should have said "I love you" in the end._

I turned from the driveway and headed back to the house. When I was a few feet from the door, it had just finally occurred to me that she hadn't come for Axel at all… but for me.

xXxXx

The living room was filled with people, and it didn't take me long to find the two loudest ones. Both of my parents were stationed at the bar mixing drinks for the guests, or making conversation with others. Children ran around knocking stuff over, but nobody seemed to give a damn. Music blasted through the surround sound stereos making it difficult to hear a single conversation. Still I was going to try to get the very important message I had to get across to them. If that didn't work, than there's always plan B.

I weaved my way through the crowd reaching for the heart of all the havoc. It took me some tries, but I finally managed to reach the bar in time to catch Cloud talking to a man unknown to me. I seized this opportunity and thought this would be the best way to put him on the spot. As I drew closer, I could smell the alcohol drifting off of him, and he was most likely drunk right about now. But I didn't care about that.

"Hey, Cloud." I stood closely beside him in a way anyone would notice someone's presence. Though he still conversed with the man in front of him, I tried again, but this time I got the other man's attention instead.

"HEY DAD!" I shouted nudging myself closer to his ear, but I got the same result.

"**CLOUD!**" This time I yelled directly in his ear, but only making the man he was talking to jump.

"WHAT, BOY?!" He yelled back looking down at me with a menacing cold glare. I flinched a little at the intensity, for I had almost forgotten what it felt like to be glared at.

_What did I do to make you this way… Mom… Dad?_

"I… there is something I have to tell you father. It is very important." I shouted above the noises of the room looking away from my father's cold eyes. The man he was talking to took a swig of his drink, uncaring of the tension in the air. (So much for putting him on the spot)

_It stung._

"Tell it to your mother, I'm busy." Cloud grumbled turning away from me. I clenched my fists tight trying to think of something else to say.

_There was nothing I could do but see it through._

"But Cloud, this is very important. This might be the last-"

"I don't _**care**_. Why don't you go bother someone else?! I don't have _**time**_ for you! Why can't you be like Axel and know your place?" Cloud hissed slamming him glass down making me flinch. I looked to the side and spotted Tifa swaying on her feet as she tried to make a martini. Bowing my head low, I left the room in haste.

I made sure I was anywhere but Cloud and Tifa's line of drunken sight. I was a little shocked at what Cloud had said, but I knew I couldn't do anything to stop him from saying it.

_Be like Axel you say; although, I knew I couldn't do such a thing._

_It hurts._

_I knew that I had to endure the pain…_

For once in a long time, my eyes blurred. I shook my head from side to side and told myself that now wasn't a time for it. I had to get this message across to someone before the end of tonight. I believe I don't have anything left to lose.

Immediately I went to look for Sora and the others. Hayner, Pence, and Olette were no where to be seen, and the girls were completely engrossed with Axel and his friends. Though I did manage to find Sora talking to a silverette, whom I think was also one of Axel's friends. They were far off from the group, standing close, and seeming to be in a deep conversation. From time to time I would see both of them playfully nudge each other, although watching them be friendly wasn't what I meant to accomplish tonight. As I drew near, I expected them not to notice me coming, but the silverette was the first to see me approaching. Teal eyes met mine in curious questioning. His eyes widened slightly, but deflated just when I grabbed Sora's forearm.

"Excuse me, but I need to speak with this certain brunet." I said to him before dragging the chocolate tuff away from the noise.

"Whoa, what the hell?!" Sora squawked putting up a struggle to get out of my grip. It didn't work and I kept moving until we were in a quieter area so nobody could hear the conversation. Finally, I turned to Sora.

"Dude! What the FUCK?! I was in the middle"

"Sora, I know, but it has been a long time and I **really** need to talk to you right now." I said cutting him off then placing my hands on either side of his shoulders to prevent him from any attempt to leave.

"Well what is so god damn important that you had to ruin the moment?" Sora snapped crossing his arms, and looking really pissed. Was he actually willing to listen?

_Why?_

"Uh, well… I have been meaning to tell you this in a long time, but… I never got the chance. I thought right now would be a good time since today-"

"Yeah I know it's Axel's birthday. Look man, everything right now is crucial right now. The sky is important, the moon is important, this party is important, my conversation with Riku is important. I got to go man. Save it for later or something." Sora angrily shoved my hands away from his shoulders, and marched away faster than I could understand what he just said.

"Sora, wait!" I rushed after him and caught him by the wrist pulling him back.

"Not now." He grumbled snatching his arm free.

"But-" I extended my arm about to reach for him again.

"LATER!" Sora growled turning to me with a snarl and disgusted expression on his face. It made me recoil, but not out of fear though more of shock. I stared after him wide-eyed as he rejoined Riku with a bright smile. My appendage still hovered in the air while I watched and listened to the two converse once more.

"Who is he?" Riku asked Sora.

"Him? Just someone I know, but he's not important right now." Sora batted his lashes at Riku trying to regain his attention.

"What's his name?"

I was too deflated to hear the rest. I turned away not wanting anyone to see the stab wound Sora left deep in my chest. I shouldn't let myself be like this even though I knew it was going to happen.

_Where has your love gone? Do I hold no place in your heart? Mom… Dad… Sora…_

I wondered off to a quieter area then turned back to look around. Cloud and Tifa were nowhere in sight. Sora was happily talking to Riku. Hayner, Pence, and Olette were still missing. The girls were still talking to a bunch of guys, and Axel was the center of it all. I watched him for a bit. He wore a bright happy smile on his face. One of his friends placed a crown over his head and a tiara over his girlfriend, Larxene. They were all laughing and calling each other names. Everyone was enjoying the merriment. Except me.

…_Axel…_

Tonight you are the last person I will attempt.

xXxXx

The party wore on, and there was nothing much for me to do but watch. I tried talking to other people, but they were all too engrossed in something else than to listen to what I had to say. It was past 11 p.m., and it was almost time for cake. I manage to get a glance at the dessert in the dining room sitting in its protected glass container. It was a very large cake, bigger then what I've ever gotten in my lifetime. Axel's name was printed on it with bold red letters. I was already betting that the whole thing wouldn't be eaten in one night.

I was standing near the farthest wall in the family room proceeding to watch Axel, and waiting for the right moment to approach him. He currently had his hands on either side of his girlfriend's waist while the latter had hers around his neck. The people in the room slowly dwindled in numbers as everyone was getting ready for their fill of fatty desserts, or loiter someplace else in this house. It took me a while to finally notice Axel's girlfriend leaving the room leaving Axel to talk with one of my relatives. This was my chance.

I moved a little closer to where he was standing to listen to a bit of their conversation to plan a time that would be best to intervene. Although, by the time I had gotten close, the conversation ended.

"Where the hell is that birthday boy? He better get his ass in here before I cut the god damn cake myself!" Cloud's voice boomed through the house. Just by the loudness of his voice, I could tell he was going to have a major hangover tomorrow.

"Cloud, hold your balls! I'm comin' alright!" Axel shouted back chuckling as he made his leave from the family room.

_I know I shouldn't do this but…_

"Axel, wait."

I stood in the center of the family room astonished that Axel had actually stopped, turned around, and looked right at me. His eyes were such a vibrant green that it shocked me that I had forgotten the color of his eyes. The room was now completely empty with the exception of the both of us. I wasn't nervous like how I used to be when I was around Axel, but this was my final chance. Axel gets the final word.

"I… have to tell you something…" For a moment, Axel's face looked shocked, but instantly turned impatient. I was staring to have doubts.

"Can it wait? A lot of people are waiting for me to cut my cake, and there's a lot of other stuff I got to do so… hold it." Axel said waving his hand dismissively turning away. Though I wouldn't have it. I ran after him and caught him by the hem of his shirt.

"No, Axel. I've been trying to tell everyone this but they won't listen. You're the only one left, please." I pleaded pulling him the opposite direction to stall him a little longer.

"Well obviously what you're trying to get across to them sounds unimportant if they ignore. Now let go." Axel pulled his shirt free, but I took hold of his wrist instead, tightly.

"Please, Axel. Can you just sit down for a minute and listen?" I could hear myself becoming desperate.

… _please listen…_

"Hey, look kid. I got a hundred plus people waiting for me in the dining room, and a whole party meant for me. It's not my fault that you live like a fucking mole and wait until the very last fucking minute to spring up something so important on the day of my birthday! This is my day and I plan to enjoy it." Axel spat in my face yanking his arm free and turning away on his heel. "Why don't you tell someone you know who cares? Cuz' I got too much to do otherwise."

I was paralyzed by the family room entrance too stunned to do anything but watch Axel's retreating form. I stared at the floor wide-eyed unable to believe what just had happened. Though, I never would have thought to hear Axel swear at me. Did he, including everyone, not care what I had to say. Was I even considered?

I smiled.

But it was okay. I knew all this was going to happen. I've known it all along. Who wouldn't after a year of this treatment? How could I not expect it? I already did what I had to do. I tried, and then failed. Mission accomplished. There was nothing I could do, but to play it through.

_... now that I know I have lost what was once precious to me, it leaves me no choice but to fade. I am out of your hair for good… I promise._

xXxXx

I sat near the foot of my bed typing what I had failed to tell everyone tonight. Once I was done, I printed and folded it neatly then placed it on top of my pillow. I turned and once again inspected the immaculate room. Everything was in order and put in the right place, so I didn't have room for any worries. I already fulfilled what I needed to do. I almost smiled on how it sounded like I had gotten my dying will granted.

I glanced at the clock and saw that it was five minutes to midnight. I already wasted enough time as it is and it was time for me to leave. I slipped on my jacket vest, and pulled a gray beanie over my head then grabbed my sunglasses off my dresser. I breathed in deep, and then released it slowly before grabbing shadow and my luggage. The hallway was empty and it stayed that way when I reached the foyer. It was like everyone disappeared all of a sudden, but I could hear them well enough in the next room.

I made my slow trek to the door thinking that every step I made sounded louder then the last. With every step, memories started to fill my head. Memories from when I was young to now. Some of them were sad, some were exciting, filled with love, adventures, joyous, but most of them were just… happy. The ones I could always remember myself smiling including the people around me. My mom, my dad, my friends, Sora, grandpa, grandma; everyone. Now there wasn't any chance I would be able to have these memories with them again.

It took me a moment to realize I was standing in front of the front door; my hand tightly clenching the door handle and my wheeled upright luggage. Music was still playing in the background and laughter could be heard over it. Slowly I turned around and looked about the room.

There were plastic cups and empty bear bottles were scattered everywhere. Not a soul lingered in the room other than mine. It almost felt like all the nights when Cloud, Tifa, and Axel left to go who knows where. Though I don't need to worry when they're coming back anymore.

I turned away from the scene and pulled my shades over my eyes. I tightened my hold around my luggage handle and shadow, then took in one last deep breath. I sighed heavily, and turned the handle. Cool air greeted me with crisp freshness and a clear night sky. I didn't look back. Not once, for I didn't have anything to look back on.

_Because I am leaving and never coming back._

The door closed behind me with a soft click.

_Goodbye._

_From your once beloved,_

_-Roxas_

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**PLEASE READ!**

**Please don't hurt me ;A; Though I do have to say I won't be updating anything for a while because school is almost starting again, and I will be upper busy. Though I will try to type as much as I can!**

**REVIEWS PLEZ! I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW YOUR OPINION OF MY STORY SO FAR!**

**Until next time,**

**~RoXeEn**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey guys :D**

**I wanted to let you guys know that you make me very happy :3 I've gotten more reviews and motivation than I had with my other! I am glad to know that people out there like this story and brought a tear to their eyes so far. You are lucky that I managed to get this typed before school started for me :l I deserve a cookie for that. A _BIG_ ONE! So basically this chapter is more like a "Filler" chapter. Just to tell you what's going on and blah blah blah… I thought it was kinda sad that I only added one dialog in this chapter, but if you don't feel like reading all of this, than I recommend just skipping to the last few paragraphs, but then you'll never know how Roxas manages (That's totally up to you) Though the ones that read the whole way through, are like, totally a BOSS. **

**Happy readings!**

**Disclaimer: {Insert disclaimer here :D}**

**Warning!: There will be sadness, hurt, violence, rape, foul language, sexual themes, and smut in this story! If you can't stomach that crap, then don't read~!**

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Chapter 8

Bodies were pressed against me, and I tried to swat away the unseen groping hands as I struggled with a man that held me by my forearm, escorting me out of the bar. It fells like time just flies by when you're drunk, and before I knew it I was standing outside the bar's entrance, slumped over wooden crates and holding a half empty bottle of Riunite. I shivered as the autumn breeze danced on my exposed skin. It was getting colder than I remember.

"You know, I'm starting to miss that smug grin you used to have on your face." I hissed as a booming voice rang in my ears. I tried to cover them, but everything seemed ten times fucking louder in the city. (Heck, I could even hear two people having rough sex outside their apartment) I turned towards the voice and saw a bulldozer towering over me with a scowl stuck on his face. He looked really familiar, but thanks to my drunken state, I was seeing double. _Shit._

The man shook his head, turned, and then closed the metal door behind him. I stared at the door for a moment before I staggered my way to the metal entrance, pleading for the hulk to let me back in. I banged on the door for what seemed like forever until I exhausted myself. I pressed my back onto the door and slid down to the ground. Sighing heavily, I rubbed at my eyes not caring that I was ruining my eyeshadow. With the bottle still in my hand, I brought it up to my lips, downing a huge sum of it, grimacing when the strong liquid slid down my throat. I sighed again not bothering to listen to the voices that kept whispering in my ears, but instead tried to regain my composer.

xXxXx

It has been seven weeks since I started to live on my own in Eastside. I've saved up money, which summed up to 50g, and I was currently taking residence in my beat up haven that I now call home. The first couple of days were uneventful. It mostly consisted of manually tearing down the colorful wallpaper, cleaning the left over confetti off the ground, ripping off the beads from the ceiling, and picking up the leftover litter on the floor. It was really hard moving all of the beat up furniture from the living room to my room. Twice, I almost hurt myself having to heave it up the stairs and squeeze it through the small attic door. After I was done with that, I was lucky to be finished up by the next morning. For a small run down house, it was harder to clean than I expected. I had to buy tons of cleaning products to polish off the grime, mold, and dust just to clean one room; including the other rooms I would most likely use. Matter of fact, it was just recently that I discovered that there were weak places on the floors of my new home, and I almost fell through a weak spot near the entrance of the door to the attic. Now with the knowledge that I was living in an abandoned house, with multiple holes in the ceiling and walls, and weak areas where the house could cave in or I could fall and suffer an injury at any moment, made this place a danger to my life and health; although, I don't care. This place is the only place I can call home, so now I have to live with it.

During the seven weeks I started living here, I realized I had to take extra measures in order to have a place to store food and keep cleanliness. No electricity or plumbing ran through the house, so I had to take precautionary actions. Storing food was an easy yet painful task. Since I had no electricity, I had to do it the natural way. I would gather all the food that needed to be refrigerated, pack them in a duffle bag filled halfway with dirt, made sure that it was zipped tight and padlocked, and went outside to dig a hole. To my disadvantage, I couldn't find any tools that could help me dig in the junk pile, or any store near the area I lived that could aid digging through tough terrain; thus, leaving me to hiss through the pain and labor of digging through the cold dirt with my bare hands. The only advantage I got from all this was that now it was getting colder, and that meant the soil would be colder too, meanwhile aiding the process of natural refrigeration. I have to admit, it was a real chore having to dig and refill the hole everyday, but it was the only thing I could do since I couldn't even hook up a mini fridge to the generator because it used too much energy.

Though keeping myself clean was a totally different story. It was probably the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. I won't lie, I can't STAND not taking at least one shower a day. It makes me feel sticky and smelly and it makes my skin crawl. Without indoor or outdoor plumbing, I was forced to find my own bathing facilities. Finding restrooms to use was less of a challenge than finding a place to bathe or shower. I didn't dare go to public pools because I knew the lifeguards will recognize me if I always went to the showers first. Also, those places require ID. That, I don't have. I couldn't risk anyone recognizing me, for that will lead to questions, and question require answers (answers I can't give), then leads to curiosity and suspicion, and finally ending with a possible chance of being taken into custody. That, I definitely can't afford. This only left me with the option to wait until midnight to sneak into people's backyards and quickly use their pool or water hose. Most nights I have to be extra careful because a single splash or hiss of the hose would make a neighbors dog bark. It wasn't until next week that I had gotten fed up with my conditions, so I decided to construct my own makeshift shower.

It took some planning, but I managed to get a few of the supplies I needed from the junk pile and the rest from shamefully stealing from other's backyards. It took a whole day to build, but I was very pleased with my work. I found a five gallon water jug I was lucky to find in the pile of junk that did happen to be on my list of items. From the pile, I also found twine and a large funnel. The items I stole were things I really needed like: a hose, hooks, duck tape, a saw, hammer, and most importantly, an adjustable sprayer. I was amazed how brilliant it was to cut up the hose in pieces and attach one end to the large funnel, which I stuck through a big enough hole in the ceiling then attach the other end to the jug, which was supported by the twine and hook. Though I had to make sure the place I was constructing was stable to hold the weight of the jug when it filled with water. After that, I jabbed a hole in the opposite end with the hammer then connected another piece of the hose with duck tape then the other with the sprayer. It was the cleverest idea I ever came up with, but it only served me well on rainy days.

Other than that, I was currently facing an all around problem. Now that I'm living on my own, I don't have anything or anyone to rely on for support. That, I knew I would have to face, but this time it's a money problem. The money I spent for everyday necessities is putting a hole in my pocket. So far I have spent a lot of money buying new wardrobe, compartments for the clothes, hair products, and make up, and giving the house a small makeover. I know I can't rely on gambling to keep my flow of money going, and no business in Eastside would hire a fifteen year old. This causes me to stress out.  
Stressing out makes me drink; thus, making me spend more money.

xXxXx

I looked out into the street and every so often saw the blinding headlights of a random vehicle. I hissed turning away and closed my eyes tight hoping the 'whooshing' in my ears would go away. I was finding it harder to stop myself from shivering.

xXxXx

I found myself ending up at the bar more often than I should. I would say that its influence was getting to me. I now favor tight clothing instead of loose. I've been adding more lipstick and other things whenever I went to go on my "drinking outings" For me… I guess… putting on these things makes me feel better in a way. I'm not really sure why I started doing this, but I don't think I'll be stopping any time soon. With all the drinking and partying, I lapsed back to drinking hard and partying hard. Almost all the guys in the bar would try to get my attention by offering me a drink, which I would gladly accept, or sometimes ask for a dance, which I didn't mind either. Couple times some guys tried to make a move on me, but at least I was sober enough to stop them before they groped my ass to high heaven. Most of the time they would ogle me from a distance, or call me pet names to heighten their chances of getting me to bat an eye at them. I won't lie, so far I' enjoying the attention I'm getting, but not enjoying the nasty glares I get from their girlfriends… or boyfriends. Even though I know I shouldn't be in a place like Misery Business, but there isn't anything out there to stop me. I will keep on going, no matter how bad my health will turn, how bad_ I_ turn, until I finally meet that one force that will push me to stop.

I'll be waiting.

xXxXx

My ears picked up the sound of foot steps walking down the alleyway. They were coming from the opposite direction I was facing, but I tried to pay them no attention as I willed the already forming headache to go away. Shivering, I hugged myself tighter hoping that maintaining body heat would last me a couple minutes. Abruptly, the foot steps slowed down and stopped somewhere close to me. I hoped the stranger that was most likely in front of me was about to go in the bar or go on his way ignoring me, but it didn't seem so.

Uncurling myself, I looked up. In front of me stood a tall well dressed man wearing black from head to toe. His white over shirt was visible for he didn't button his jacket all the way. He held a black briefcase and sported what looked to be an expensive watch on his left wrist. Looking higher, I noted that I couldn't make out all the man's facial features very well, but I could see the long silver hair that rode past his shoulders, tan skin, and eyes that shone like amber. Slowly, he bent down and leaned in revealing his face a little better.

I shrunk back feeling a sudden emotion of fear coarse through me. His gaze was like knives piecing through my body and soul, and when he smiled I could see no genuine feeling behind it.

"Why, hello there."

_What I would give to not have found Misery Business…_

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**PLEZ READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!**

**Well there it is! Chapter 8! I know it isn't much, but I promise that chapter 9 will be much better :D (Or Worse) Depending on what I want to write because I have no fucking clue what to right for the next chapter. Dx Though I got an idea. Now, I don't want any of you thinking that this is what the stories summary is about :l Cuz I haven't even gotten to the main point of it yet. (YES THERE IS STILL GOING TO BE MORE) **

**Your three free questions still remain (to a certain extent) Feel free to PM or leave a review to ask the question, and I will reply as soon a possible :D**

**Once again, I want to thank you guys for being so awesome. You guys make my day. **

**Reviews please! I would like to know your opinions of my story so far. You might never know, maybe I might take an idea you suggest to make this story better.**

**Until next time,**

**~RoXeEn**


	9. Chapter 9

**OMG HI GUYS xDDDD**

**I know, it has been a long time since I last seen you guys and same goes for updating ;n; For those who didn't know, school started for me and I hadn't really gotten the chance to get some writing done because of all the dumbass quizzes and tests we had so early in the year . Yes, school is a pain, and I should let you guys know that the intervals in between the updates will be longer. (Sorry… bad news) Though I will try to get as much uploaded as possible. (If my studies don't get in the way) So anyway I hope you (try to) enjoy thing chapter just… please don't hate me at the end ;w;**

**Happy readings :D**

**Disclaimer: Wish I owned KH… *flips a table in rage***

**Warning!: There will be sadness, hurt, violence, _rape_, foul language, _sexual themes_, and smut in this story! If you can't stomach that crap, then don't read~!**

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Chapter 9

I trembled. Not because it was getting colder out, but because I couldn't tear my eyes away from his Even though his eyes didn't show it, the man before me had a very intimidating air around him. I was too scared to look away.

"Shouldn't you be inside? It's getting too cold to be wearing that." The man said, motioning towards my fishnet sweater. I was already regretting not bringing an actual sweater instead one that exposed more of my top half.

"Besides…" the man continued. "-aren't you a bit…" he paused curling his thin lips into a smirk. "… young to be drinking?" He finished, his smirk reaching to his ears.

Instantly I glared at him, backing away from him and keeping a strong hold of the bottle. I didn't want to speak with this stranger anymore. All the fear, hesitation, and weariness was gone as I eyed the unsettling figure in front of me. At the moment, I wanted nothing more than to lye down on my cool waterbed.

"Go away. I want to be alone and I don't want you to ruin my good time." I growled taking another sip and once again, grimaced at the strong taste. "It's best for you not to attempt to associate yourself with me. I'm worth nothing and I would just waste your time. Go fuck yourself and leave me alone." I added turning away from his piercing eyes.

There was a stretch of silence, and I honestly thought the man had left and I hadn't realized it. My original plan for tonight had not completely turned out the way I wanted, but at least I still got something out of it. (This fucking delicious Riunite despite its strong taste) Looking down at the bottle, I noticed I had drunken about three-fourths of the whole thing. Swirling the red-velvet liquid inside the glass container, I thought of my pervious words. I…I've thought about it long and hard, and it's true… I'm really worth nothing. A homeless man has more worth than me. My life was wasting away everyday I woke up in the morning. I serve no purpose. I'm nothing more than a walking blob that pathetically cuddles with a stuffed animal at night, drinks, spends, and parties his life away, and lies around in a filthy abandoned house with no one to call family or friend. I'm…nobody.

I was startled out of my thoughts when I heard something beside me let out a low sigh. I had thought that the man had already left, but he was still there, a light frown on his face and unreadable eyes. I turned away trying to will myself to ignore him, but the knowledge of his presence made it difficult. Too bad I hadn't noticed the grin that appeared on his face.

"May I offer you a job?" Then man suddenly spoke making me choke as I sipped at the remnants of the wine.

"W-what?" I coughed out looking at him with shock and bewilderment. That had completely thrown me off guard.

I hadn't expected the man to offer me a job from out of the blue like that. Especially since I am not of age, especially from someone that was increasingly making me suspicious. I narrowed my eyes trying to see through his condescending smirk.

"What, or should I say _where_ are you getting at?" I asked eyeing him warily. The man's eyes shifted as if in deep thought. An involuntary shiver shook me when a knowing smirk danced on his lips.

"You look like the 'runaway' type." He said, my eyes widening. "You look like the type that was neglected by their family, the type that confines ones self when pushed into a deep sorrow, the type that is spoiled and lacks discipline, the type that is determined to go as far as their limits, and especially…" He shifted his eyes to glare at down at me. His smirk never fading as the last of his speech grazed past his lips. "…the type that will never stop living until completely broken." A glint flickered in his eyes that I wasn't able to fathom. "-that is why I want to hire you."

I snapped my mouth shut when I realized I was gaping at him. How had he known that? I only met this guy like ten minutes ago! I tried to keep a straight face while I mulled over everything he anticipated about me, but I failed miserably. I wanted to prove the man wrong, but I had no evidence. Questions were staring to roll through my head, but I couldn't seem to answer any of them.

_Though why did it matter?_

Calming down, I stared down at my feet. _Why does it matter? _It's not like I can crawl back to anyone's arms and know I am safe. Why does it matter if he can read me like a book? Why does it matter what 'type' I was? He must have obviously encountered many people to know what kind of person they are by their looks or actions. So _why_ did it _matter_?

Not in this alley, not to this man, not to this city, not to this country, world, or universe. I guess I wanted to matter to someone…something. But I won't…_never_…

"How much?"

"Excuse me?"

I glared at him through my bangs becoming quite serious. Silently I revised my question with a low growl. "How much is the pay?" The man looked taken aback for a moment, but once again looked away questionably. He was already starting to piss me off.

"Well…it depends." He said eyes reverted away from me; thinking.

"How so?"

"Well it 'depends' because in this job, everyone is paid differently."

"Based on how well their service is. It's more like competing if I may say so myself. The more money you earn, the higher your rank is." He smirked at this then turned to me, eyeing me with a hint of interest. "But of course I can't tell you everything now can I? You need to be employed first, that is, if you want the job."

Taking in everything he told me, I took note of the almost empty bottle, and mulled over the short description of the job. It sounded interesting enough, but I couldn't help but feel a little uneasy about the whole thing. Although, I couldn't hide the fact that I was losing money, fast. This was probably the only opportunity I would have to make anything in this town.

Stiffly I stood, cringing when more then ten places in my body popped in place or cracked. Stretching a little, I throw back my head drinking down the last of the deliciously strong wine. After wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, I smashed the bottle on the nearby wall and watched it shatter into pieces. Slowly, I turned towards the man staring him down. He returned my gaze awaiting my answer. We stayed like that for some time until I had finally made up my mind.

"Where's the paperwork?"

xXxXx

One of the many things I hadn't expected from this "job interview" was that I had to wait for my employer to finish a call in the other room. Another thing that I hadn't expected was that his "office" was also his bedroom. It was a big room, and had no windows. The carpet was blood red and the walls were painted a dusky white. I was currently seated on the lush velvety comforters near the foot of the bed. Before he had to make his calls, he requested I sit on the bed instead. He wanted me to feel more 'at home'. I protested, but he insisted that he wished for me to have absolute comfort since I was his guest, so I silently complied. Looking over the bed, I noticed the pillows were a heavenly white rimmed with gold threading with red silk thread wrapped around it. When I first saw the bed itself. I was amazed at the shear size of it that looked to have housed more than ten people. Though I couldn't help but wonder why he would need a bed that big if only he was using it.

Though the only thing that completely threw me off the edge was when he told me he was the owner of Misery Business. After I had accepted the job offer, the man turned to the building that kicked me out and knocked on the steel door in a rhythm that I didn't recognize. We waited a few seconds before the door opened to reveal the hulking man again. The Amazing hulk (minus the torn shorts and green skin) noticed the man first but went wide-eyed when he noticed me. His mouth opened slightly but immediately closed as he looked from the man, to me, then back to the man.

"How long do you plan on blocking my way?" My employer hissed, a hint of impatience and irritation in his voice.

The tower didn't hesitate to move aside, allowing us access. As we passed, I glanced up at him and was puzzled when I saw the strange look of sorrow, anger, and pity mixed in his chestnut eyes. I hadn't the chance to question it further when my soon-to-be boss pulled me inside. The walkway seemed… darker and longer than normal. There was a funny smell emitting from somewhere like a heavy cologne. I brought my hand up to my nose trying not to gag on the smell as we came to the door of the main room of the club. At the time, I couldn't help but wonder why he was leading me back into the club I was just kicked out of. I was always taken out at six 'o clock and I never thought of any reason they did so. Though the sight before me when he opened the door hadn't explained why.

The music escalated in volume like a bomb blast when the door opened. People were still dancing and drinking, but when I looked around, there were more people present than I remembered. I knew this because between the time I was kicked out to now, I hadn't seen or noticed anyone leave or enter the club. So how were there more people? I could almost recall each and every person that was present in the room. (Thanks to the many times that I've come here I practically know all the names of the people here) My knowledge went from the bartender to the drunken men on the floor. Though, there were people I didn't recognize, and there was one in particular that took my interest sitting in the far end of the room.

From where I stood, it looked to be a teenage girl, or maybe a young woman, straddling a man that looked to be in his early twenties. The girl (Or woman?) wore a tight blue tube top, that seemed covered to only her chest, drenched in glitter. Her back was to me, so I could only see the back of her head and her pale back that was revealed from the ripped patterns of her top. I strangely wasn't surprised that she wasn't wearing a bra, neither was I surprised when I could plainly see the light blue thong she wore from her not-so-concealing short shorts. Her long pale legs wrapped around the others leg as she leaned in talking to the man she was currently straddling in whispers. I noticed the shoes she was wearing were deep blue six-inch stilettos that had ribbons attached wrapping around her leg like a vine. I looked back up and my eyes zeroed in on the black chocker around her next. I could barely make out the word "Blue" in bold white letters; although, it did take me a while to notice the baby blue feather earrings that draped past her shoulders, and the same colored acrylic fingernails that dazzled the tips of her fingers.

I was beginning to wonder if her favorite color was blue (Even though it was quite obvious by her attire)

I nearly chocked when a very _pink_ haired man strode by heading towards the woman (Girl?) in blue. He looked like he was in his early twenties, but from behind he looked more like a 'she.' He was dressed much like the blue girl except his back was covered. He also wore a flowing sequined mini skirt, and right above it, you could see a tattoo of a rose. He too wore six-inch stilettos (that were a hot pink if I may add) and silver ankle bracelets that clanked together whenever he walked. Now that this one appeared, it made me curious if people like these two dressed like this after six.

Now the new arrival stopped beside the blue haired girl (woman?), and must have said something to make the other (I was sure of it now that she was a girl) Then suddenly a heated argument began between the two. I wondered what they might be fighting over but I hadn't gotten that much of the thought out when I was suddenly pulled through a crowd; momentarily losing my view of the two. The man that was supposedly my employer guided me through the over-populated room towards the entrance of the backroom. I was sure that only the bartender's had access this part of the place, but the man (before I knew he was the owner) was leading me through the door. Before I caught a final glimpse at the two, I swore my heart stopped when the girl turned her head; her hair following after the girl like a cape. A hazel blue eye connected with mine, long lashes framed the edges. Silver-blue lipstick glistened in the light and her matching hair covering the other eye.

It was then that I realized that "she" was actually a "he."

Then just like that she was gone, for I could not see through the wooden door.

xXxXx

I stared at my feet and fiddled with the bed linen between my fingers. Nearly a whole hour has passed since we first arrived to his office. The man was done with his calls a long while ago. I really wanted to move about or look for any clues as to what his name might be. It frustrated me that he still hasn't given me his name, but I was impressed with myself that I had sobered up and hadn't made any rude comments that would ruin my chances of getting the job. It would have been a lot easier to deal with the silence if I hadn't decided to leave Shadow home.

"I do hope you have not been waiting long." I immediately straightened myself at the sound of his approaching voice.

I nearly blinked when the man appeared with a black silk robe tied around his waist; exposing his bare tan chest and nothing more. He still wore his dress pants, but his shoes, watch, briefcase, and jacket was gone. Something about his appearance spoke alarming words to me, but they weren't my main focus right now.

"Don't worry, I was enjoying the comforters." I smiled, hopeful that he hadn't noticed my discomfort.

"Good, so then you are ready for you paperwork?" He asked untying the knot that held the robe.

"Yes." I answered getting up to head to his desk, but was stopped halfway by a grab to the shoulder.

"Where are you going?"

"To your desk." I answered a little confused. "Isn't that where-"

"Oh no, I don't like doing paperwork over there… it's less…appealing." The man said with a hint of disgust, taking hold of my wrist and leading me back to where I once occupied.

"Appealing?" I hadn't gotten an answer then he roughly threw me down to a sitting position; my unease skyrocketed "Hey, what are you-" He smashed his lips against mine cutting me off. I snapped my eyes shut shoving him off me. I glared at him shocked, but he simply grinned looking a little pleased.

"You shouldn't ask questions. It's a pain and unappealing. That is the number one rule in associating with me." He snickered grabbing hold of my arms and capturing my bottom lip between his teeth, biting down _hard_.

I yelped in pain and tried to jerk away from the man, but he forced my arms together to my side. I screamed bringing my legs up, wincing at the painful grip he had on my hands. I could already taste the blood on my lip.

"G-Get off me!" I struggled and thrashed, but I couldn't so more then an inch against his grip.

In response, the man furiously bite my neck causing me to scream out in sharp pain. Out of reflex, I shoved my leg into the man's stomach. It only gave me enough time to shuffle away and run for the door. I didn't get to it fast enough for two hands slammed me into the door, grabbed hold of me, turned me around, and forced my hands over my head.

"Come on now, you can't run away yet." He smirked closing the gap between us and leaning in. "Besides, you work for me now."

"Let me go!" I screamed thrashing and calling for help. "Someone, help me!"

"It's no use. The room is sound proof and the doors are locked. They won't open without my command"

"What?!" I shouted, gasping as he picked me off the ground with ease. My struggle became more desperate.

"Didn't you agree to work for me? Well it's a done deal. You will work for me as long as I want you to." He explained going back to the bed, not bothered by my squirming. "Besides… you asked me 'Where's the paperwork?', didn't you?" He smirked, unceremoniously throwing me on the bed, but taking hold of one of my wrists.

"W-wait p-please! Y-you can't do this!" I pleaded taking my free hand to scratch at his face.

Fear, Anger, and regret were the only emotions I could feel. I was scared because I didn't know his intentions until now. I was angry with myself for not noticing and realizing the predicament I was in. Though most of all, I regret getting myself into this mess by agreeing to take the job.

The man slapped a handcuff around the wrist he clenched, and then the other one the bed post.

_I regret ever drinking…_

I screamed and kicked at the man until he positioned himself between my legs, and wrapped a cloth around my mouth. Tears were streaming heavily down my cheeks and my heart was racing with fear. I watched him draw a pocket knife from somewhere I couldn't see through my blurred vision. He drew the knife closer to my face making me cry out and wail. Through tightly closed eyes, I felt the blade caress my cheek, going lower, the cool blade trailing a thick pulsing vein in my neck, only stopping when it reached the collar of my sweater.

_I regret sneaking out at night to come to the club…_

My breath hitched when I felt the blade poke at my skin.

"Such beautiful skin." The man grinned, gliding the blade lightly over my chest then sliding it down to my stomach; my muffled cries for him to stop going unheard as he began to cut the sweater. At this point I was sure I was scared for not only my life, but more for what would be the outcome.

_I regret talking to that blue haired man in the alleyway…_

"It's a shame really," The man continued, ripping away the strands that made up the garment then tossing them somewhere far off the bed. "-for a child to go through so much…only to end up here." He frowned in mock pity poking at my abdomen as if feeling around for something. I furiously yet desperately struggled against my confines to get away from him, but hot tears and the fact that he was between my legs made it hard for me to do anything.

"Don't struggle. It will just make things harder for you. Now, hold still while I-" I screamed and tried to bring my legs up to kick the silver haired man in the face or _something_. He was pulling off my leather pants, and my wrists were starting to hurt from all the struggling. I never would have thought tonight was going to end like this. I always thought the idea of being raped was the worst thing that could ever happen to anyone. I didn't think it would happen to me, but here I am.

"You're so fascinating, did you know that?" The man said continuing his one-sided conversation while ripping away my boxers, only stopping to mischievously gaze at my now exposed limb. "All my clients have never put up so much of a struggle besides you. You should see your wrists, they're staring to bleed." He chuckled darkly lowering himself to my face. I was beyond terrified as I could see the evil lust in his eyes and a matching smirk.

I attempted to plead with him, but my cries were still blocked by the cloth. I really wanted to go home. Not my run down abode, but my _old_ home. I would trade anything to go back to being alone in my room than have this happen to me. I could feel it in my heart that I desperately wanted to be back with my parents and Axel, but… that won't ever happen.

_I regret everything…_

My body knew itself better than I did when I shivered feeling the man's fingers glide over my member. I whimpered involuntary shutting my eyes tight, hoping the whole thing will be over quickly.

"Enjoying ourselves, are we? Well not for long." I heard the dark chuckle and the removal of his pants before I felt the most painful sensation in my life.

I felt the shearing white pain before I realized he entered me. It hurt so much that not a scream, gasp, or whimper escaped my lips. The pain was too great that no tears left my eye lids. He was ramming into me faster than I could process the feeling. It felt like I was being stabbed from the inside. It felt like my ass was painfully being ripped in two. The man hovered above me; a giant smirk on his face as he hitched my legs up over his shoulders. His hair fell forward around his face creating silver walls that denied me view; forcing me to look anywhere but his face.

"Aren't I lucky? It's been a while since I snagged myself a virgin. You're so tight, you should be proud of yourself. Definitely going to be a valued item." The man grunted in between sentences continuing his harsh thrusts that seemed to make the entire bed move according to them.

It didn't take me long to make a noise until I gasped suddenly for the lack of breath that I was holding. My gasps turned to pained screams in seconds; all the emotions I felt from the beginning to now flowed out with them. With every hard thrust I screamed, my tears returning with vengeance. They stung the once tear free socket making it hurt to blink. The man must have got tired of his position for he removed himself from me, turned me until my ass faced skyward, pushed my faced into a pillow, and penetrated me again. _Harder_. I was welcomed with a new pain, but not from my lower region. When I was positioned on my knees, the man hadn't bothered to adjust the cuffs on my wrist. That caused my wrist to become twisted and I_ heard_ one of them snapping. They were bleeding well enough, and I could feel the warm red liquid running down my arms. Not to mention the blood that was now running between my legs. I kept praying for this to finally end, but I had a feeling it wasn't going to end soon. Every passing minute became more painful and agonizing. I could feel myself become dizzy and my voice become hoarse with every useless scream. The sound of his skin slapping into mine made me feel disgusted and tainted. I so desperately wanted this to end. _But no…_

To my disbelief, my screams were becoming quiet moans and my limb stiffened. The man, probably noticing this, brought his hand down and stroked at it roughly. I could tell he was becoming very pleased with his results by thrusting deeper until his cock brushed against something inside me that made my moans escalate. He hit it again and again and again and again until sweat coated my skin. I didn't want to feel pleasured by this! I didn't want to enjoy it! I wanted him to stop! I wanted to go home! But no… he kept going… until I came all over the bedding beneath us.

_I'm no tired…_

…_so sore…_

…_so weak…_

_He didn't stop…he kept going…not a minute's rest…_

Slowly my eyes began to shut, the abuse taking its toll. All I remember from then on was the pain in my wrists and ass. I had the terrify feeling that I never would be able to use the crapper again, but nothing sealed my fate more than the last word I heard pass through the man's lips.

"Princess."

xXxXx

"Marly, hurry and get me a damp towel!"

"_Wow_, Superior did a number on this one."

"Don't just stand there! Go get a bucket and a towel while I try to get these cuffs of him. I think his wrist is twisted pretty badly."

I heard the two male voices move about me, but I didn't –_couldn't_- dare open my eyes. My eyes felt like lead and I couldn't lift them enough to squint. I was lying on my back on a very firm bed, but the pain in my body proved that what I thought I had dreamed, happened.

"What's really riled my panties up is why did he have to do that?! He's just a kid for crying out loud, yo!" A third voice.

"He must be nothing more than around fourteen maybe.

"This is not a time for this! We need to tend to him!"

"Okay, okay. Don't get your panties in a bunch."

There was more movement, the sounds of things being moved or placed down. I felt myself going back to unconsciousness once again after hearing a warm voice nearby.

"Don't worry; I will take care of you. You hopefully won't be seeing him again…" There was a pause and the feeling of something being pressed against my neck. "Princess."

.

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**THE PLOT BEGINS XD (FINALLY!)**

***Sighs* You guys should be happy I got this done on time. :l Ok, I will admit. This is the first time I have ever written a rape scene, so please don't be flaming on me. There is a first time for everything and this is mine. Can anyone guess who the people were at the end? ;) (Kind of obvious one of them in Marluxia) Sorry guys, again. You don't know how _good_ you guys make me feel! xD**

**Questions still remaining: 3**

**R&R plez! **

**Until next time,**

**~RoXeEn**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey guys ;_; (YAY AN AXEL POV!)**

**Sorry for the long _LONG_ update. I have been very busy because I just joined Color Guard, and I had no idea that it would consume so much of my time! D: I barely get to spend a full day at home anymore Dx I am thinking of quieting for Winter Guard, but I'm not really sure what I want to do. It's fun, but I barely have time to do my own homework ;_; So… I think I'm going to quite :l I don't know yet…**

**Anyway I am glad for the reviews I got. A little less than what I got than the chapter before, but I'm still happy :D I hope you guys don't hate me for the last chapter, but at least the plot is starting :P Though I'm amazed that I still have the three questions for this story. DOES ANYONE NOT KNOW THAT THESE QUESTIONS ARE FREE QUESTIONS THAT CONSERN THIS STORY AND ONLY THIS STORY? ANY QUESTION CAN BE ANSWERED FROM "Will Roxas and Axel ever be together?" OR "Will there be a sequel?" Just putting it out there, you know? :l **

**Anyway, Happy Readings~**

**Disclaimer: …*screams***

**Warning!: There will be sadness, hurt, violence, _rape_, foul language, _sexual themes_, and smut in this story! If you can't stomach that crap, then don't read~!**

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Chapter 10

_{Axel POV}_

_**3 years later…**_

It has been three years…

I already have an apartment, a well paying job, and good friends. I live the Eastside of town now, a place my adopted mother wished for me not to be, but I felt more at home here. The sights and sounds are far better than the quiet suburban area we lived in. You get the chance to meet very interesting people, good or bad. My good friend, Demyx, lives out here with me too; although somewhere more dangerous than where I am. Demyx lives in the heart of Eastside as I live in the far end, but I'm happy all the same. Now as for my friend, Riku, he still lives in Westside with his fiancé, Sora. It wasn't much of a shocker; but anyone could see the relationship going on between the two. Sora was pretty much clinging to him or latched on his hip anytime you see him. I couldn't help but laugh sometimes from the irritated look in his eyes when Sora started whining. They had their spats, but they're still cute together. As for I, I have yet to find anyone I could honestly love for more than seven months.

I've dated so much; I can't even keep track of how many guys I dated in my teen years. Yes, I do go both ways, but I found both sexes appealing. The largest relationship I held with anyone was actually nine months. She was a very sweet girl, Xion, and had a really great personality. I thought I had found someone I could honestly love, but in the end she was more interested in someone else. I was heart broken of course, but no one was nearly as heart broken when _he_ left.

At first, I didn't understand why he left. His parents told me he ran away, but I knew that hadn't been the case because I didn't think he would just up and leave for no reason. They thought he wasn't serious, but after days became weeks, then weeks became months; they had finally realized that their son was indeed gone and was never coming back.

xXxXx

_{Two years ago}_

I was staring the white space over head hoping that maybe it'd came crashing down. My once dusty white sheets changed to fiery red ones and pillows that faded down to orange. My carpet was now a hazy black, my walls were painted black too; neon paint splattered in random places varying in size and blotch patterns. My favorite bands and idols hung on my walls including all the random shit I taped to it.

I lay on my bed; thoughts running through my mind of many nights before. Everything was silent in the house except the faint sounds of Mrs. Tifa sobbing in the room across from mine. She was in there more often now a days. She rarely left that room unless to cook dinner or use the bathroom or anything else. I sometimes hear her mumble to herself, or stare longingly at a picture of her first born and last born child. It kind of hurt to see her like this. She has taken care of me for the past year and her current state of mind and physical state was taking a toll on me. Cloud was nothing like Tifa though. Cloud was drinking more than usual; sometimes breaking things "accidentally"; although, we all know why not only they are upset. It was just weeks ago that Mrs. Tifa found the note Roxas left behind. She wouldn't let me read the letter, and always hid it somewhere. Often times Mr. Cloud scowled at nothing but space when he came across it. Dinner was silent. I always dared to try to start up a conversation to lighten the mood, but it always end in some sort of physical or emotion breakdown between the two parents. Mrs. Tifa would stare solemnly at the empty that was once occupied by Roxas, and Mr. Cloud would stab at his food until it turned into mush. As for I, I would just stare at my food feeling like I am intruding in a personal family issue. (Which it is!)

Though they are not the only ones affected by it.

I quietly walked into the cafeteria, eyes only focused on the ground.

"Hey, Axel!"

"Hey, Dude, where were you last night? You missed the party!"

"Axel, I was wondering if you had the time to hang out later."

"Axel, are you going to the game tonight?"

I was too focused watching my feet guide me to our table in the middle of the room. I could hear the loud squeal of the girls in our group. The chatting of happy people, the teasing going around like wildfire once started, the playful nudges from here and there, and the flirting that seemed to make the sexual tension pollute the air like cooking grease. All were oblivious to the real world at this moment. Many in their little world, or sleeping in their fucked up dreamland hoping to escape the rest of their day in slumber. There were few that just sat there in a daze, stabbing their food, or staring into nothing ness like a paralyzed zombie.

"A-Axel! I was wondering where you were." Xion smiled up at me I took my seat beside her.

"Ya, you didn't show up at Tidus' party yesterday. What gives? Fire crotch lost his flame?" Riku smirked at me from across the table; Sora sitting on his lap. The remark made a very hyperactive Demyx laugh hysterically.

"No, shit for brains." I mumbled, but couldn't help but smirk.

"Hey Axel, you will never believe what Riku just told me! He said that he-" Sora piped up and hopped on Riku's lap. I turned to him and swore it looked like he was giving him a fucking lap dance.

Then I somehow remembered why I was here.

"Axel? Are you listening? I just said-"

"Yeah, yeah I know. You and Riku did the Sixty-nine last night, good for you." I cut him off, earning tomatoes face from the both of them. "Though there is something you should know… or should have noticed."

"Noticed?" Kairi piped in, finally distracting herself from Namine. "What do you mean? Did you cut your hair 'cuz it looks a little different to me." She spoke, innocently looking me over.

"No it's not that, it's just- why don't all of you look around the table, and see if you notice something different." I told them, watching them do what I instructed.

"I don't see anything different." Namine chirped, testing her new pastels on paper. She had gotten them a few days back, but never got around to using them.

"Yeah, everyone is here." Xion hummed picking at her forgotten food.

"The only thing I think is strange is Sora and Riku sucking face like there is no tomorrow." Kairi smirked as the two quickly broke away.

"All is good Axel. I don't see anything that changed." Demyx mumbled strumming away at his Sitar.

"Me neither." Sora agreed turning to Riku, who had a very concentrated look on his face.

"Riku?" Sora poked at his boyfriends face seeing that his eyes weren't on him. He was silent for a moment before he seemed to remember something when he shot his head upward a little.

"Well…" He finally answered eyes scanning the area around him, not just the table.

"Someone is missing actually…" Riku murmured eyes wandering, squinting at random moments.

"Missing? What do you mean Riku? Everyone is here, see?" Sora demonstrated by waving his hands around the table

"No, Sora, Riku is right."

"Really? Then who isn't-"

"I remember… he looks like you." Riku spoke cutting him off.

"Like me?' Sora was truly confused at this point. I could tell by how his voice rose a little at the end of his sentence.

"Actually, I think both of you guys are wrong and Sora's right. Everyone is here. See? Riku, Sora, Xion, Me, Namine, Demyx, Axel, and-…" Kairi paused; eyes widening a pinch. "… and…"

"And?" I urged her one to see if she finally got it.

"So… I'm right? Or… wrong?" Sora scratched his head in a way Riku thought was cute.

"You're wrong, Sora. Who else in this world do you think looks like you?"

I wasn't really surprised when his face literally contorted in heavy concentration. His face was so screwed up I was pretty sure a demon possessed him and had fun with messing with his face. Riku on the other hand was still looking about, which was raising a question in my mind, but I didn't feel like asking yet.

Suddenly, Sora got up from Riku's lap, and then wandered off from the table. He ran around the cafeteria like a headless chicken. He went on like that for quite a while, concern on his face as he made his way back.

"Hey, Axel?"

"Yeah, Sora?"

"Where's Roxas?"

xXxXx

After that I remember telling them about the letter. I told them about Roxas' parents telling me he ran away. At first, Sora had the mind set that Roxas was sick, and didn't bother to call or text him. The girls thought he found new people to hang out with, Demyx hadn't met the kid so he didn't know what to think. Riku said nothing, but would stare off at space as if trying to remember anything that dealt with the blonde.

Eventually time passed on, and I would say Sora took it second hardest out of everyone. He fell into a lapse of depression; not speaking to anyone except to answer a question during class. He stayed silent during lunch; barely touching his food or wouldn't bring any food at all. The girls were sort of the same. Quiet and all, but tried to keep the mood light by cracking jokes tat would ultimately fail; resulting in Sora making side comments that he says Roxas would then burst into tears seconds later. Riku tried his best coping with Sora's mood swings, but it was hard for not only him, but all of us to mention Roxas' name without someone crying waterfalls or falling into silence.

Signs were put up; all having the pictures of Roxas smiling at no one in particular. His parents even put up their missing child statement in the news, and offered a large reward to anyone who found him. There were times when people came by and tried to fool his parents into giving them money for a child that didn't even look like him. Even though it already has been over three years, Mrs. Tifa somehow manages to put up new pictures of Roxas weather it called for rain, snow, wind, or people tearing them away.

It only took until now for them to give up: convinced that their son wasn't coming back and regretting their horrible display of parenting. They blamed everything on themselves, and any other child that was subject to their care would have done the same. Sora moved on too, but instead excused himself from the room or become saddened by the mention or thought of Roxas. Riku tried his best trying to ease his fiancé's pain, and being a good soon-to-be husband to his…husband?

_Which brings me back to now._

xXxXx

I stood in front of my living room window that went off into a small balcony. It was getting late by the time I returned from work, and all I needed was mug of coffee and the sights of the heart of Eastside. The television was on, tuned into the seven o'clock news, the reporter updating the recent killings and accidents that occurred. Occasionally hearing the updates on weather, or something about politics I didn't really care about. All was tuned out from my ears as I overlooked the city that twinkled like stars of many colors. I breathed out, watching the evidence of my existence fog and blend with the cold winter air while I examined every light.

_Searching…_

"_-Dead or Alive? It has been three years since anyone has seen head or tail of Roxas Strife. Years ago, it was reported that this fourteen year old disappeared from his home without a trace. Even though his parents, Tifa Lockhart and Cloud Strife, discontinued their search for their child, but still hope that someone will find their missing child. The police still haven't found any leads that could aid the search and will also discontinue the case until they do. If you have any information-" _

I shivered; the cold air ruffling my red spikes like a father would to his child. I hadn't taken my eyes off the city or taken a sip from my now cold cup of coffee. My eyes still searching, looking…promising the promise I made when I placed the loaded box in the moving truck at my old house. Tifa looked at me like what I announced could never be done, but the sliver of hope in her eyes never left.

"I am going to find him. I don't care what you tell me. Tell me all you want, but I will bring him back… dead or alive. I won't be coming back until I find him, I promise."

_I swear on it._

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**PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!**

**Sorry it was only 2k+ words long D: I had to make it short and sweet to make the story flow better :D I thought it was finally time to add some Axel POV in the story. You will be seeing a lot of this later on, I promise you. Don't have much to say but I LOVE YOU GUYS and THERE ARE STILL THREE QUESTIONS UNANSWERED TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN! Though that is up to you guys, maybe you could say the questions for later, you know? Any questions on the estimated time for the next chapter? PM me if you want :D I hope this story sticks to you like a flea :P**

**Also if any one of you guys were wondering what was on the letter go back to chapter 7 and read _ONLY_ the Italicized words. My beta told me that the scene of Roxas-leaving-and-going reminded her of this song :D I never thought how true that was. (Take out the spaces!)**

** www. / watch?v= KqOtos UliAM**

**Reviews are the cupcakes to my vanilla~ (Wait wat? :l)**

**Until next time,**

**~RoXeEn**

**(Next chapter will be a Roxas POV) Just letting it out there D:**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey**

**I am so sorry for not living for over a month D: I just needed a break is all. :l **

**Sometimes writers need to take a break from everything you know :l Here is a 3k+ chapter for you. I will start writing both of the chapter next week, so I hope the next will not be as long as these xD**

**Disclaimer: [insert here]**

**Warning!:****There will be sadness, hurt, violence, rape, foul language, sexual themes, and smut in this story! If you can't stomach that crap, then don't read~!**

**Happy readings!**

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Chapter 11

_3 years later on the same day…_

_{Roxas POV}_

The room was poorly lit, but I could see clearly thanks to many years of adapting. I stared at the woman in the full body mirror; her reflection was not like any other, but mine. She stood straight and tall; eyes never wavering, always looking forward but not breaking contact. Her small shoulders were brought back in proper English posture, and her head was held high in absolute authority. Her skin is flawless, not a blemish marked her. Her unique hair that swung to the side was longer than usual; the shoulder length strands hugging the nape of her neck went halfway around like a soft silky blanket. Her lips are plump and painted ruby red; a color she has grown to hate. Her sapphire eyes were clouded, and bore long lashes that spread on her cheeks like feathered crescents as she blinked. She wore a costume made zippered down black leather strapless mini-dress that barely passed her bottom. The top of the dress was an expertly made corset lined with satin. Blue lace ribbons formed cross patterns down the front with a tight bow on each end; the rest going down as if torn to shreds by animals. She reached down with white gloved hands and adjusted the pure white garter wrapped around her left thigh. She lightly brushed the tips of her gloved fingers down her legs feeling for unwanted hair; only stopping when she reached her matching blue knee-high stiletto boots.

Sighing deeply, she brought herself back up to stare at the white chocker around her neck that sported a shuriken chain in the middle. Her chocker was different than others because she was considered "special." The top of the food chain everyone said; her name printed in bold black letters on the back.

She scowled at her reflection even though she knew it could affect her "perfect complexion." She could care less for she envied her image with a burning passion. One she knew she couldn't escape from it every time she looked in a reflective surface.

Her image doesn't have to breathe; didn't have to think. She only mimicked my looks and copied my motions. She didn't have to live life like I did from day in to day out. She taught me with my very own existence; smirking behind a stony mask. From behind this clear portal, she lived a different life. She might have a family and friends that deeply cared about her. Maybe a husband or wife she kept dear to her heart. Her life was nothing like my own; living happily in another dimension behind a thick sheet of glass.

Sighing again, I reached down the bodice of the dress then pulled out my Blackberry. It was encased in a specially made casing that sparkled with real diamonds. One made specially made for me. Pulling out my styles, I clicked through the phone and reopened a text I received not too long ago.

_-Gardenia had a rough night last night. One of her clients went a little too far. Boss would like to have you come tonight. You can't get away though, he's having a visitor._

_~Blue_

I reread the message over and over again until the backlight on my phone turned off. I tucked the phone back into the bodice then straighten my dress; turning to leave my imaginary parallel dimension.

The floor boards groaned and screamed as I maneuvered around the weak spots of the attic floor. I went over to my newly furnished bed and grabbed my fur lined jacket vest, then pulled it over myself. I caught a glimpse of yellow eyes protruding from under my covers; staring and questioning me. Carefully moving about the bed, I pulled up the covers to reveal a precious friend of mine. He stared up at me still questioning, but I simply picked him up and cradled him in my arms.

"Don't worry, I'll be back by tonight, just a visitor… not a big deal at all." I whispered petting its soft pelt fur already feeling the effects consume me into a world of numbness.

xXxXx

Carefully but swiftly, I crawled out the unbolted window of my house. I re-straightened my dress and shivered in the winter air for the lack of warm and concealing clothing. I hugged myself as I walked past a pile of dirt that held my cold storage. I pulled out my Blackberry once more to check the time to see it was quarter to eight. I hissed at no one still trying to fend off the cold as I began my trek to work.

"You shouldn't do that. If Superior was here, he would have you down your own throat."

"I didn't think you would give me a ride, Lexaeus." I turned to him watching him come out from behind my abode into the street light. I looked down the street to spot a black Hummer waiting a couple blocks down.

"The black one?"

""Yeah, he even left a message on it for you… unsurprisingly." He answered in his usual deep monotonous speech.

I hummed in reply walking towards the sleek black vehicle. The walk there was silent, for neither Lexaeus nor I had anything to say to one another. We communicated mostly through expression or touch. (Mostly on my part) I could just give him a look and he would know what I was thinking right away, or he could simply walk past me and make a vocal sound to tell me that Boss needs to speak to me. It was the way we worked. Not much vocal communication, but just enough silence to have a full conversation.

When we finally reached the vehicle, I wasn't appalled to see the long message Boss had written in a very bright, loud pink lipstick.

_-Yo, Baby!~ I'm so sorry I couldn't say this to your daring face. Hehe, well anyway I'm out of town, and I'm having a little manly man of mine coming over for a visit. Please take good care of him for me, please? I'll even throw in this cute banana hammock I found at the store today and thought it would look so cute on you! See, I even taped it on the car for you~ Oh! And did you hear the Jessica- _

I rolled my eyes and snatched the silky white thong that was-indeed- taped on the car. I didn't feel like reading over Boss' ridiculous gossip when I had work to attend to. I snorted and walked around the truck as I started our silent conversation.

'Should have been suspected from him.'

'Always. You should have seen the people's faces when I drove around with that thing duck taped to the car.' Lexaeus gave a low hum in reply getting into the drivers side.

'I could image.' I chuckled entering the passenger side.

After I had gotten in my seat and securely buckled my seatbelt, Lexaeus did the same then started the car; heading back to our destination. Sitting back, I watched the city life pass by. Club lights and music could be heard or seen through the dark tinted windows. City folks waked along the sidewalks or idled around the crosswalk awaiting their chance to cross. I looked down at silky thong that was held loosely in my hand, and thought back to the man who gave it to me. Boss, The man I unreasonably loath.

My hand clenched around the dingy fabric until my knuckles turned white. Lexaeus must have noticed my anger, for he turned a little towards me and looked at me from the corner of his eye. I shook in anger thinking bath to the red haired man I met days after I regained consciousness from the incident.

Boss always wore a Cheshire cat smirk that I so desperately wanted to rip clean off his face. He was always the center of attention when he was around. Always laughing with or at people, or a persistent pest to everyone around him; especially me. It bothered me so much when he was at least arms length away from me. He would constantly ask me unnecessary questions that didn't make sense, or act in such a way that it makes me think he can't take his "job" seriously. It really got on my nerves when he –for some reason- had the urge to tell me about things going into deep details about thing I don't even care about. Although he is my boss, I have to respect him no matter how much I want to rip off his balls and staple then to his fucking forehead. Then everyone would have a reason to give him so much attention. I never liked his blue-green eyes that seemed to see into your actual being for all its integrity. I wish I could literally set his bedraggled fire truck red hair ablaze with my_ eyeballs_ to see if his new hair dye would give him a better look. It was like he _lived_ to make my life a living hell!

'Well… not completely.' I thought relaxing considerably.

Other than his repulsive attitude, he did have _some_ perks usually when he went too far with certain things, _especially me_. Gardenia considers him as her "comfort toy" though Boss seems –scratch that- _wants_ to seek "comfort" from me. Everyone knows that I'm Bosses favorite. Always giving me privileges beyond the average, and always offering me better after better place to live. Though in reality, I am the one who makes those privileges.

I relaxed my tense muscles and sighed heavily leaning back on the chair at the same time asking:

'How is Gardenia?' I asked silently, closing my eyes to block out the harsh street lights.

'She is fine. She will be out of work until neck week. She's really just pulling the 'traumatized' act to get an extra day off' Lexaeus clicked his tongue and huffed as he flicked the left turn signal.

I let out a little chuckle. 'Something she would do.'

The rest of the ride was quiet. City life was causing an uproar outside these black tinted windows. It wasn't long until I felt the car slow down and pulled up to a reserved parking space. The engine was soon after cut off, and later the passenger side of the truck opened. I cracked opened my eyes a little, and then turned my head to look lazily at Lexaeus.

'Do you know this man I'm appointed?' I asked staring into his chocolate brown eyes.

'His name is Rude; one of the founders of Superiors' business. He also takes account of everyone that works for him, like you, who are under contract.' He explained opening the car door wider, then stepping aside. I tried not to grimace at the thought of Superiors lackeys having an appointment with me.

They were just as bad as he was.

'Are you coming?'

I sighed. 'Fine.'

Climbing out of the truck, I straightened my dress for the hundredth time tonight; my boot clicking against the black asphalt as we made our way to what was I once called my refuge.

xXxXx

The lighting in the hall was dimmer than I remembered. The smell of alcohol and cigs poisoned the air while we moved through the narrow passageway. I could feel the music pulsating off the walls and floor like an earthquake. Lexaeus, even though he didn't have to, lead me to the rainbow rimmed door and pushed through. The sound of music (no pun intended) rose in volume as soon as the door opened. Rainbow strobe lights temporarily blinded my vision, but I quickly adjusted once I completely stepped in the room. Although, the room fell almost in total silence, save for the music. Chatter and laughter ceased as I walked in; something that was usually expected.

The Princess has arrived.

A year after the mess with Superior, my name "Princess" became well known in Misery Business. Practically every man or woman who came to this place knew who I was, but all newcomers eventually were told or find out. Before all the recognition, my teacher, Blue, taught me almost everything I know about being a prostitute and then some. Gardenia also helped since she worked in the S&M department to 'Add a little spice to your (my) profile' she says. But eventually after many nights with (mostly) men and (very little) women, I eventually caught on and experimented with new ways to pleasure my clients. There are others besides Blue, Gardenia, and I, but not so much.

I know one of them ultimately hates my guts; Lighting. Before me, she used to be the "Queen Bee" as Gardenia likes to put it. It made sense since she did have this odd hair style that had two hair pieces stinking out like the antlers of a bug. Everything used to go her way, and everyone did everything she told them to, except me which really pissed her off. There was also Black. She… and I don't get along too well. She reminded me so much of a friend that I once had. Her face was almost exactly the same shape as his, her hair was exactly the same style except it was black, and her eyes weren't those deep ocean blue ones I used to know. Just being in the same room or breathing the same air made me suffocate in disgust and heartache; although, Black was just another person I had to compete with.

Walking towards the bar section of the club and feeling multiple pairs of eyes watch my every movement, I marveled at the selections of wine, alcohol, whiskey on the shelves then taking a seat to an all too familiar "mother" of mine. I could already hear the silent whispers, gasps, and cat calls, but I ignore them. I had no reasons to pay them any heed. They weren't my clients because I chose them not to be. No matter how much they ask Princess for a dance, a drink, a small kiss on the cheek, or for a quicky, she'll never oblige until she finds someone who she sees fit.

That's how Princess is.

That's how she works.

That's how_ I_ work.

"You're quieter than usual, Princess." A voice whispered in my ear; almost inaudible, but held with care. "What is troubling you?" A hand found its way to my chin turning my head to face my non-biological mother, Blue.

"Nothing." I lied looking away, watching all the men stare lustfully at particularly "no one," but that thought I wouldn't know _why_.

"You're lying. You would normally keep your lies well hidden, but since you're obviously showing that you are then I have to conclude that there is indeed something wrong. Please don't lie to me, you know how it makes me feel." blue's soft tone whispered by my temple, kissing it lightly with the feel of feathers. She knew how much this action calmed me, and personally I loved the feeling. Sighing, I rested my head on her shoulder and breathed in her scent. Her hand automatically moved to the base of my skull scratching lightly. (One of my favorite placed to be scratched)

She smelled like raspberries.

"That… couldn't be avoided…" Blue mumbled into my hair. I didn't have to tell her what was on my mind. It was like she had this weird mother's sixth sense.

"Yes it could."

"Please don't be that way, love." Blue half whined as I buried my face in the crook of her neck. I hated it when she did that, and she knew that. It made me very guilty, frustrated, and angry with myself. Three of the emotions I didn't want to come across when I made someone I care about upset.

"Stop doing that." I mumbled, my lips lightly tickling her neck.

"I should be saying that to you." She giggled softly, something she did rarely. I sighed contently dropping the subject as fast as it had begun, giving into the pleasuring hand against my scalp.

We stayed like this as long as we cold. Besides me, Blue was one of the most favorable here. Despite her quiet nature, she is very obedient, which makes her well liked thanks to her "willing behavior" unlike the others who prefer to do things their way. Even though she is a little older than me, she is a quick learner and well disciplined. She tells me very little about her life before this, it makes me wonder how exactly she ended up here.

I whimpered when Blue suddenly stopped kissing my temple. I pulled her closer pecking and nipping at her neck to usher her to continue, but she continued to stop the soothing action. Feeling a little bratty, I got off my chair and climbed onto her lap. I could hear the sound of people in the room taking a sharp inhale as I did this. I smirked a little at the thought of entertaining our audience, but was interrupted by a soft small hand grabbing my chin and turning it towards a very tall dark skinned man.

He was completely bald for one, and had a well trimmed goatee. He was tall, and looked to be in his mid twenties or early thirties. He wore a very well tailor black suite, a white undershirt, and a matching black tie. He had many piercing on his left ear, and a single on the right. To my distaste, he wore a pair of dark sunglasses, and black leather gloves. To me he looked like an officer, but that shouldn't have bothered me as much as that I was appointed to him tonight. My grip on Blue tightened as I stared up at the man.

"Don't worry, I'm not the cops. _Tiger_ told me how you'd react." The man said in a stern but settled voice; my perspective about him changing.

He didn't seem like a man for words. He had a very business-like air to him. He did have an intimidating air about him, but it didn't affect me and neither Blue.

"So you are my appointment? Correct me if I'm wrong, is your name Rude?" I asked, my features already setting as the man nodded. My body relaxed and my eyes lidded, but just enough to se him clearly. I loosened my grip on Blue's shoulder and fingered the hem of her sleeveless blue tank top. I adjusted my legs just a little to have them hitched around Blue's.

Step 1 of 2: Perfect Set up.

"Drop the façade. Tiger must have told you the wrong thing. I'm only here for your contract." Rude said bluntly lifting his right hand that held a black leather suitcase.

_My contract_

I quickly did I was told, but instead set a hard glare his way.

"That's all?" I nearly hissed trying to keep my nerve. Internally, I was glad that I didn't have to act for this man.

"Tiger told me that you had a short temper. It was a good idea to keep your nerve though…" The man spoke with an edge to his voice, leaning in until he was a good few inches away from my face. I hated how I couldn't tell what the man was thinking. I hated how his expression stayed the same as he spoke. He didn't spare a sly grin or a twitch to the face. And those _shades!_ I hated them too. I hated him… _Ohhh_ did I_ hate_ him. "… or I would have ordered some rough entertainment on the side with Blue over there like Saix had with Gardenia." I could feel mother's fingers dig into the fabric of my clothes.

My eyes narrowed at the man. He was just like the rest of them. Always threatening to keep things in order, and never hesitating when an order is given.

"Can we just get this over?" I growled, clearly making my point that I didn't want mother involved. I couldn't help but be testy when people brush me the wrong way when things came to mother. She already has way too many problems of her own.

The mad nodded his head towards the door that led to the backroom on the other side of the bar. He left me no time to catch up, but I didn't want to be in his company so soon anyway.

I turned to Blue and saw that her eyes were casted downwards, and her lips pressed together in a thin line; her grip on my sides never relieving. I sighed through my nose then pulled her close.

_I wish I knew how many years I had left…_

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**I really love the reviews I gotten from _Ignorance Of It All_. They made me feel special inside. :D I hope you guys loved this chapter as much as I did. My beta said it was very interesting, and she liked it. :P **

**Questions remaining: 3**

**Until next time,**

**~RoXeEn**


	12. Chapter 12

**Bonjour~**

**Je m'appelle RoXeEn**

**Et toi? **

**Sorry, no Roxas this Chapter D: Though I did provide you with a **_**Multi POV chapter**_**. It's more of a filler chapter, but it helps you guys understand the other's POV of this.**

**Now here is the answer to a questions on the *Free Questions* list:**

**Envyyy asked:** _**Is Axel ever gonna meet Roxas?!**_

**To Envyyyy: Yes they will :D**

**Remaining Questions: 2 (Use them wisely ;D)**

**Disclaimer: …. Insert disclaimer here :D….**

**Warning!: There will be sadness, hurt, violence, rape, foul language, sexual themes, and smut in this story! If you can't stomach that crap, then don't read~**

**Happy Readings!**

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Chapter 12

{Demyx POV}

My eyes were closed, but my ears were open. The thumping, clicking, and patting of shoes became my down beat as the sounds of store chimes, horns, and the ringtones of cellphones became my upbeat. The vibrations car made as they passed by course through my nerves, regulating my excited heartbeat as it became my metronome. My head was resting on the brick wall of an antique shop; my fingers gliding across the strings of my beloved sitar, but not pulling a single string. My case was open, already collecting money with the absence of sound; although, my fingers kept gliding across the strings, heart thumping a tempo, mind mulling over the perfect song.

Ever since I moved here, so far life is turning into everything I want it to be. My love for Music was and is the only thing that's been on my mind ever since I was little. Other things that my parents had wanted me to get into like: sports, business, or construction didn't –at all- come to me as easily as music did. It was like instinct to play an instrument as soon as I saw one. I was made for music as it was made for me. I could play almost all the musical instruments the world threw at me. I only needed to know how and what the notes sounded like, and I would be making music in seconds. Although, it took some time to get the right instrument for me. Violins were too high pitched for me, but at the same time too low. (Including the Cello even though it wasn't a violin, but part of its family) Pianos are gorgeous, but the exercise of moving my hands from keys that are far out in range became tiring for me. (Including the cramps in my hands I would get after I played only one song) I tried woodwinds, percussion, brasses, and other strings, but the only thing that really worked for me was my precious sitar. It was a Strings, yes, but it was something out of the _ordinary_. She can make the most beautiful sounds and music when played right. She made every song I played on a regular guitar sound like crap, but when played on her, it made them into something divine! She outdid every instrument I ever played, and there was nothing that could surpass her.

Behind lidded eyes, I could see red, which meant I was facing the sun. I looked to my left, opening my eyes slowly as my eyes adjusted to the harsh sunlight. My gaze fell to the other side of the street; where I saw other pedestrians going to their destinations. Then much like a fairytale, that's when I saw _her_.

Just looking at her screamed _Blue_! Literally.

She was walking in well practiced navy blue wedges. Despite the fidget cold weather, she wore blue tights that faded from dark to light blue as it went up. Anyone would have thought she was crazy to wear jean bikini shorts over, but she didn't seem bothered by it. Above that, she wore a bulky navy blue coat that matched her shoes. Also sporting a light blue scarf around her neck and matching mittens. Even her hair was a metallic blue! But her head was turned towards someone in conversation, so I had no way of seeing her face until she turned around.

I watched her go.

She was talking to her companion, but never once turned her head around. I was beginning to get a sense of eagerness and impatience as the women walked along oblivious to my presence. (Though I couldn't blame her since she was on the other side of the street, and I wasn't playing a song that might have caught her attention.) Although, I was also confused by the meaning of this. When was the last time I ever strived for a pair of eyes to look at me? Maybe there was something about her that I wanted to notice, or realize and understand her way of displaying herself speaks so loudly to me? Even now, as I watch her walk at the light at the end of the block, and cross the street to disappear at the corner, I still could not comprehend it.

Then just like that, it struck me.

Like a thousand bricks falling on my head.

The perfect song.

_Blue Moon_

My eyes were fixated where I last saw…-who? I didn't know her name. This was the first time I had ever seen her actually. It dawned on me how I had never seen her before since I recognize almost everyone that walks the streets.

As my mind still lingered on the mysterious woman, my heart started to beat in an excited pace. My mood started to rise parallel to the feeling of love and wonder; a false emotion that was so well practiced. My eyes never left the corner where the women in blue once occupied the- now abandoned- street corner. My fingers settled on the strings of my sitar; feeling frets and the small ridges of the metallic strings. My eyes were finally closing as it began its trance; the blue woman becoming a fleeting memory.

xXxXx

{"Blue" POV}

The forecast today said it would be below freezing, but I didn't feel it the moment I stepped outside the entrance of the hotel I stayed in. I've lacked the feeling for as long as I could remember. The thought of not being able to feel the cold didn't bother me. At first I didn't think it was a bad thing, so I always walked in nothing but a spaghetti strap and shorts. People gave me odd looks, asked me questions, but I never found it the strangest thing. I couldn't say that I was glad to not feel such a natural thing in nature, nor could I say that I hated it. I turned my head back towards my hotel, glaring at the sign just above the door.

_Destiny Heights_

Still on the topic of my current stay-in, it so happens that I had a client staying at the same hotel, but I tried everything in my power to avoid him. Sometimes I do my work there, but mostly out of frustration. The men here are so easy to catch. I wonder if men even had the mental mentality to decipher if it was the best decision of going with a random stranger just for sexual release.

Pfft, pathetic.

I was lucky enough to have the money to stay in an expensive hotel. I wanted "Princess" to come live with me here, but she declined. I would have loved nothing more than to have her in my company; mostly just to keep me in place.

Speaking of Princess…

I stood on the corner of a block waiting for the only person I thought to be tolerable. It was Sunday so both of us had the day off; although, she had more of a privilege than I did. I don't hold it against her though. She's lucky; that is what most would say, but personally I am glad she has the title. Though I don't mean that in a way anyone would think.

"Zexion."

What a horrid name.

I turned at the mention of my true name and spotted Princess- no… Roxas, heading towards me down the block.

She wore a long black fluffy coat that reached to her knees; ends bordered with fake fur making her look like an Eskimo. She also wore checkered black and white gloves and a matching scarf, and to balance the black off, white polo boots. She nodded her head to me as she came closer, puffs of her life leaving through her nose with her silent welcome. I noted that she wore a very light coat of pink lipstick. Black rimmed her azure eyes followed with the original clouded eye shadow. Her skin never failing her perfect complexion. She practically didn't need to apply makeup really. It was like the color of the lipstick, eye shadow, or whatever she was wearing steeped into her skin like water on cloth. She was beautiful all on her own. All be damned if they thought otherwise.

"Princess." I replied when she finally reached me, a pout set on her face. It was cute.

"You know you shouldn't call me that without being within one hundred feet of work."

"I know," I huffed wrapping my arms around her small waist. "…but I would never want to miss the cute little face you make when I do." I smiled after completing my sentence, flashing her one of my rarest smiles. She replied with a special one of her own. A small one, but it was more of a twitch of the lip.

"Shall we go then?" I said taking hold of her empty gloved hand into mine.

"Yeah." She whispered huddling close to me, hoping my body heat would help her fend off the cold.

The cold I could not feel.

xXxXx

We were walking into the heart of Eastside, strolling along the crowded sidewalks, not minding the occasional shoving of rude passer-byes . It was walks like this that I enjoyed. Usually I walked by myself, but with Princess around, it made them better. It was times like these that we actually got to know each other when we weren't working. It was also a time like this that Princess seemed a little more... alive. These were the only times when Princess told me a bit about her former life, and so did I; although, I tell her so little. Even though we have known each other for over three years now, I still am wary of telling anyone of my personal life. She never had complained about that before, but is rather patient and didn't force her way into my business. I appreciated that about her. That is why she is my favorite.

That is also why I taught her everything I know- and then some- into the world we live in now. Because of her prior life, she became something untouchable. With unseen eyes, I watched her grow and become an empty void under the superior's thumb. Becoming something that he considered "perfect" and controlled like a puppet; a puppet with false looks and emotions. If I knew better, I would have said it hurt to watch her become something I so hated. It hurt to watch her struggle in the first days of coming to. It hurt to watch her dead eyes look into the ones of lust and utter want; the latter becoming her eternal victim. Even now, watching her walk alongside me; talking freely of her worries-… it hurt to see her everyday knowing what she had become. What she became under the hands of the man who humiliated her every now and again.

Under his hands…

Under _their_ hands…

…under my hands.

I cursed myself knowing that I contributed to tainting what was once pure, but I hated to say I wasn't the only one at fault -… and she knew that. I hated how I wouldn't forgive myself for this. I hate how casually I live on each day not giving a single inkling of remorse for her life here.

All in all, this is what I would have_ liked_ to say or feel if I knew my ass from the ground. Things I would have _thought_ if I wasn't broken and caught up in this life I sinfully call my own.

Because in the end… we are both the same. Blinded by the black sashes that sealed our fate. Only walking the one path we knew how by damned parent to their condemned child.

Because in the end…

… I am no different from Princess.

xXxXx

{Sora POV}

I was running.

I could not recall what from or why I was running, but I was. I knew it was a dream. A dream I have had ever since he disappeared. I didn't think it would be going away either. I thought it would replay in my head for an eternity until something was at a mends; although, that could not be obtainable. I don't think it ever will be because I doubted I had a chance of ever finding him. It was a lost cause, but I was still running.

_Looking_

Even though I was told that it wasn't worth it, even though so many years have gone by with no news from him; I kept looking. Without a cause-without a purpose. I didn't want to keep running after so long. I was tired. I want to quit. I didn't want to deal with it anymore, but I couldn't. I just _couldn't_. I went along hoping that he wasn't dead. That was my greatest fear. For all this searching, and all the running… all of this to only result to the discovery of his death. So many days, weeks, months-… all this time without him. Not being able to know if he was alive or dead in a ditch. I feel terrible. I want to be sick. I want to throw a child tantrum, not caring of the embarrassment. I hate myself. I am disgusted by what I have _done._ I wish I could throw it all up. Throw up all the negative emotions, the awful _guilt,_ the desperation, the sorrow, the anger, and the dread.

Sometimes I didn't want to face the universe. I wanted people to leave me alone with only the exception of Riku. Other than that, I was anti-social. I remember back in high school when every waking moment of my life was torture. Staring into doors and nothingness became my life. I would stare at the classroom door, I would stare out into the crowded hallways –searching for the tuff of blonde spikes, I would stare into space, hoping he would appear spontaneously even though I knew it was not possible, and continue to carry on… staring and silent.

I appreciated that Riku tried everything he could to be a great boyfriend- now fiancé. Even when I was down, he tried to cheer me up with the things I liked most, but often times they would go unnoticed depending on how deep in I was. He tried to convince me that I needed to see a therapist, I obliged and it relived some stress, but I didn't stop me from relapsing. It felt like my whole entire world was collapsing. I never thought that someone that you once cared for growing up could affect you in such a way that could result to this. I wish I could wind back the clock to prevent this from happening. I wish I hadn't treated Roxas the way I did. He deserves more from me than anything I've given him before. He deserves an apology non like any other from the people- including myself- who've done him wrong.

I wondered about the "what if's."

What if I had always stayed by Roxas' side, would I have prevented this? What if Roxas had never gotten an adopted brother? Would that have changed something? What if I never met Riku? What would that have done?

…

I cringed at the thought.

This was something I knew I was guilty for thinking.

I hated that I even thought this way.

Who would I have chosen?

Roxas… Riku?

…

_I'm running again_

xXxXx

{Axel POV}

I wrapped my scarf around my neck tighter as I solemnly stepped out of the warmth of the hotel. The hotel I currently worked at, Destiny Heights, is one of the best hotel franchises in Eastside. I was lucky enough to be hired into such a well paying job. Even though my boss, Squall, who also happened to know my foster father, offered me a place to stay in the hotel rather than go house hunting in the city; although I had to decline, I was happy with the small apartment. There was honestly not a lot out in the word I could ask for, but there was always that one thing that I couldn't reach.

I cringed again as the cold wind stabbed my exposed skin like arctic daggers. Right now I wanted nothing more than to get home and warm up a little before I began my hunt for the day. My car was parked in a reserved parking space just a couple blocks away. I had reached my car quicker than I had I thought, but it wasn't a surprise because of the bad weather. I adjusted my fifty-pound binder under my arm. I sighed thinking of all the work I had to do after I get back from searching.

"_RENO!"_

I was reaching for the handle of the car door before I heard the shout. Time seemed to slow as I turned my head towards the sound and the loud pounding of feet. My eyes widened as they met- just for a moment- with the eyes of impossible blue.

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**Chapter 12 END :D**

**Promise, next chapter is Roxas POV ^^**

**Until next time,**

**~RoXeEn**

**R&R PWEZ!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey guys -_-**

**It has been waaaaaay to long and I'm sorry for that. School is a pain in the ass, and it doesn't make sense for teachers to give students end of 9 weeks tests just before vacation. My days have been busy, I know. But I made this chapter to make up for it. Like I promised, this is a Roxas POV (ALL ROXAS) and blah, blah, blah, blah :D **

**Disclaimer: Don't own characters and blah blah blah… only own the plot.**

**Warning!: There will be sadness, hurt, violence, rape, foul language, sexual themes, and smut in this story! If you can't stomach that crap, then don't read!~**

**Happy Readings~**

**(Anyone notice that not only is it the year of Roxas, that I uploaded this on the day of Roxas and not to mention that this is the 13****th**** chapter dedicated to Roxas? Funny huh?)**

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Chapter 13

{Roxas POV}

I woke up screaming today. Not much of a surprise there; I have been doing that a lot lately. Of course I never bothered to see anyone about it because I didn't want it to be anyone's business. The dreams weren't that bad to be completely frank. It's just they were unusual. I haven't told Blue about them yet; I didn't want to worry her. So instead, I told her that I wanted to go out for a walk today. Just to get my mind off of things.

I yawned but didn't dare pull the covers off me. Since my run-down home had little to no insulation, the only things that kept me warm were layers upon layers of blankets and stolen quilts, and a small electrical heater beside my bedside. Both did very little, but they made the nights bearable. It has been like this for as long as I could remember; just Shadow and I living together in this sorry excuse of a home. But I didn't mind it too much. Living the life of solitude with a stuffed- whatever it is- made me somewhat happy. Crazy to say, yes, but it took me away from the things that I didn't want to be in contact with. Blue offered for me to stay with her after she figured out that I was living here, but I had to decline. I didn't think I would be able to leave something that had so many memories with just me… and me alone. After that, she didn't push for me to take her offer, but she would always ask how I was holding up despite the many times I told her I was fine.

Shadow, who was currently glued to my chest, gave me some warmth as I brought him out and wrapped a thick blanket around the both of us. My body moved on autopilot; already knowing the strong and weak points in the floors and stairs. Before I knew it, I was already preparing a bowl of microwaveable grits in the kitchen. It was just weeks ago that I brought a new generator and extension cord. I thought since I had the money, I would be better off if I bought myself another generator. Having one generator is fine, but I realized that I would need another if one only worked for lighting and my small heater. This one was not like my solar powered generator, for it worked on gasoline. It was tricky getting the gasoline at first, but that didn't stop me from finding a way…

The generator had two useable outlets, which meant I could plug in four things at one time. That was good considering the limited electrical items I had. With that, I decided to buy a microwave, a mini oven, and a toaster. It was good because I didn't have to eat out anymore, and I missed having home cooked meals. But I was more than capable of cooking for myself.

_Right_

The microwave dinged after heating up the mixture of ground corn and water. I sighed as I took the hot bowl of grits into my cold hands; the warmth instantly making my fingers tingle with need. It wasn't long until my mouth watered at the smell of the cooked sausage. I sprinkled some shredded cheese on top of the grits, and placed the cooked sausage into the grits. I stared down into the steaming hot bowl with hungry eyes. At this very moment, this was the most beautiful thing in my whole entire universe.

_**Ring….Ring….Ring…**_

_Fuck…_

Quickly, I scooped up the mixed grits and cheese with the sausage, and shoved it into my awaiting mouth. O hobbled my way into the living room without dropping my breakfast. (Hefting a million ton blanket and carrying Shadow around was already exhausting me) I reached my phone just before the last ring. Glancing at the caller ID, I saw that Blue was calling.

"Bluma…*" I answered plopping myself on the battered couch; continuing to eat my breakfast.

"Princess." Bluma's quiet voice replied back. I frowned.

"Are you calling about today?" I asked between mouthfuls.

"Yes. It's four in the afternoon and you sound like you just got out of bed." Bluma mumbled, but thanks to my keen hearing I could understand-…what?!

Shocked, I looked at my phone. It was indeed a little after four, and I was sitting here with "breakfast."

"Sorry, I'll be out in a minute." I said almost feeling a non-existent guilt for making her wait.

"No, take your time. I can wait."

"Alright."

With that I ended the call and finished my breakfast. I lapped up the rest of it from my fingers, and carefully made my way upstairs. Once I made my way up to the attic I began to strip. I shivered when the cold sliced through my skin like a blade. I quickly shuffled my way to my plastic cabinets before I would die from the cold icy grip. I found a thick black sweater that exposed the shoulders. The outside looked to be made from actual fur, and the letter 'P' on the center with a tiara on top. I wasn't amazed that its price tag was still attached. Most of my clothes were like that anyway; with their price tag still attached. Reno would give me presents left and right, so I wasn't really inclined to wear them. Shrugging, I pulled the sweater over myself, loving the feel of the velvety interior. Opening up a couple more drawers, I pulled out a clean pair of women's underwear (You gotta play the part if you are in my situation), and checkered skinny jeans. Once I'd finished, I headed towards my "bathroom" which was really my makeshift shower, and a cracked fully body mirror with my cosmetics beside them. I skillfully applied my necessities for the day; strawberry pink lipstick, blush, black eyeliner, and smoked eyeshadow. I later went to the closet on the far side of the room to grab my fluffy white coat, and checkered black and white gloves and scarf. I nodded my approval once I had everything accounted for, for my evening with Blue. I headed back down into the master bedroom then turned to Shadow, whom I left on the overturned mattress that lay against the wall.

I smiled at the small creature, took it from its perch, and then cradled it in my arms. Shadow was the only thing that I truly considered a friend out here in Eastside. But even though it held all that happened in my life, saw all the horrible things I had to go through, felt all the heart wrenching emotions I dealt with over the years; it was honestly my everything. A gift that came from the people that took my old life. I don't know what I would do without him.

xXxXx

I walked quickly down the blocks trying to fend off Jack Frost and his daggers. I decided against bringing Shadow along on my little walk with Bluma. Out of almost all the other times, I brought Shadow with me. I don't think Bluema had noticed the times I brought him, but I didn't think too much of it. I wanted to keep Shadow a secret, and didn't intend to mention Shadow to Blue. He, Shadow, was probably one of the little things that I could never mention to Bluema. I guess it was a way of feeling uncertainty of putting the two of them into contact.

I hummed under my breath as I spotted Bluma. She wore one of her usual blue on blue attire. She looked beautiful as always, but that was expected from her even though we weren't working.

_I felt like today was going to be worth remembering._

I inhaled the smells of the city. I inhaled the smell of obnoxious foods, mouth watering junk food that beckoned the stomachs of the hungry, the sweet and addicting smell of perfumes, produce, and everything else that would pollute the city air. I was accustomed to the smells, so it was almost like the city's way of greeting me.

Bluma and I were currently walking down one of the most toured roads in Eastside. We idly walked along the popular street talking about my old school life. It wasn't a topic we'd usually talk about, but it was anything that would pass the time. I talked about my favorite teachers, activities, subjects and books; although, most of the conversation was focused on the school nurse. I used to think it was funny that I had a small crush on Mrs. Aerith, but she was someone whom all the students loved. From what I could remember, she had the tenderest (If that's even a word) heart out of all the faculty members. If you were lucky, she would let some students stay in the infirmary just to skip a few classes. She would also bring sweets to all her favorite students every now and again. She was definitely a person to think twice for. Everyone practically loved Mrs. Aerith… well I used to.

Not wanting to continue on the topic, we walked the rest of the block in comfortable silence. It wasn't until then did I realize where we were. I've walked down this block many times actually, but I did not think this particular _someone_ noticed.

{_flashback}_

_Today was warmer than usual. I wanted to take advantage of this day rather than go suck or__get fucked by a stranger's cock for the evening. The cool air played on my cheeks as I walked peacefully on the somewhat busy sidewalk. People were chatting with one another, chatting on cell phones, shopping, or rushing to work with their half-eaten breakfast in their mouths. All this was the norm- minus the usually colder weather. I could have slept in today, but something compelled me to go for a walk._

_So I did_

_I continued to walk… and walk… and walk. I walked down one of the famous sections of Eastside. This whole fraction buzzed with life. Sights and smells that were all new yet familiar to me. I looked around the new and old places I recognize. Shops, café's, restaurants, hotels, etc… It felt like miles of things Eastside had to offer even with its bad reputation. People were making money off the street as easily as someone selling drugs. That was probably one of Eastside's good points for the fact that people could make fast money here. It was like no one could __**not**__ make a lump sum of money from __**something**__. It was almost amazing to me how the two reputations about this place even each other out so well._

_Although at the same time, this was when I saw someone that I never thought would encounter in a place like this._

_When I gazed at the other side of the street, my eyes widened when they fell upon somebody I never completely acknowledged in my old life. My heart picked up in speed as a million thoughts raced through my mind. I saw him sitting on the cold city ground. He was hunched over something that I couldn't get a good view of thanks to all the pedestrians that walked past him. From every window of people, I could see that he was wearing a black leather jacket, black fingerless gloves, bright yellow skinny's, and sitting beside what looked to be a guitar case. He sat there unmoving, his hair spiked up the same way I remember back then; a mohawk crossed with a mullet, a unique style in its own._

_There was no mistaking it._

_It was Demyx._

_Out here in the heart of Eastside._

_I honestly never would have thought this guy would be __**here**__ of all places. A while back when I was still in Westside- as I remarkably could recall-he was one of the wimpiest, dorkiest, bubbliest, scaredy-cats that ever inhabited the halls of my old school. In a way, he was the class clown, and not taken very seriously… unless it came to his music._

_From the little time I've known him, music was probably the only thing he lived for. There was almost never a time when Demyx wouldn't gnaw off the ear of anyone that asked him about his music or just music in general. It was like he would marry music or anything that was associated with it, even if it including somehow building it into a humanoid or anything that moved. Usually in school, you could find him anywhere playing music whether it be in the school halls, classrooms, or the top of the school building. There was almost never a time when you wouldn't see Demyx playing a song anywhere in the school. It wasn't surprising to see him playing music and looking happy while doing so, but what really surprised me was the fact that he was actually __**here**__. Here in the good yet bad place called Eastside. Softhearted, wimpy, good ol' Demyx in a city that he'd think most terrifying. But like I said, I've only known him for a short time. Sometimes I'd forget that people change over the years._

_I continued to stare at him for I don't know how long now. It was evident that he hadn't noticed me, for he kept his eyes closed and head faced downwards. He didn't look around like all the other people that tried to earn a dime. He looked like a statue. He didn't seem to want to be associated with the people walking past him, yet I could see people throwing in coins into his case before he even played a song. It was like watching him be in his own little world. Maybe playing songs for no one in particular. It was like he entertained for no audience. It was truly a strange thing to see._

_Looking up and down the street, I made sure it was safe to cross. But then again, there were plenty of sons of bitches that would nearly cross the street by J-walking. My heart was thumping in its cage as I crossed the road. I wrapped my scarf tighter around my neck, and pulled it up to cover a part of my face. I stuffed my hands into my jacket pockets; curling them up in a tight fist to keep them warm. My heart nearly jumped out of my chest as I slowed down and stood about a foot from him. He didn't look up as he started to play. He didn't bother to acknowledge the person that stood but a foot away. He just started playing as soon as I came. It was like he was waiting for me; something I thought was kind of creepy. Anyone who was in my position would have thought this was a stupid idea, but then again… it had been so long, I doubted that he'd recognize me._

_I stared down at my old acquaintance as butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Feeling more comfortable with the idea of him not recognizing me, I listened to the song he played on his beloved instrument: The sitar. It was part of the guitar family, but was uniquely shaped for its usual sound. Even today, I still wondered why Demyx favored this instrument more than all the others in the world._

_The song was beautiful all in itself. A new piece that I never heard before, played on the skilful hands of my old acquaintance. Then again, questions began to bubble in my throat. Questions that I wanted so badly to ask. Questions that needed answers. Suddenly, it was like I could feel all the events curled up into one huge amount of pressure in my lungs. I could feel how badly I wanted to scream those questions out one at a time. To shout and cry the words that dirtied my mouth every since __**that**__ time. In the first time in a while, I wanted to so badly to cry… or sob even. To let all the pent up emotions go after so long; however, I could not. All those temptations and wants were buried deep in the pits of my stomach. I had placed them not only there, but somewhere else for a very good reason. Demyx wasn't the cause of all this. He wasn't worth an inkling of what I have pent up inside me. So I decided they would wait; awaiting a later time to be released at full force._

_I gasped out when I finally realized I was in one of my trances. I haven't had one in quite a while, and it surprised me that I was had one just now. Then I was suddenly conscious of the loudness of my gasp. It was quiet enough not to be alarming, but loud enough to be noticed. I quickly took a brief glance down at Demyx to see if he noticed, but he didn't seem to respond to the quiet outburst. Thinking fast before anymore could happen; I dug out my wallet (Courtesy of Blue) and blindly pulled out a dollar. I dropped the bill into the sitar case and bolted from his presence._

_If I had stopped and glanced back, I would have seen Demyx stop playing his song, look into his case wide eyed, and then eyes following my disappearing form._

_**A crisp one hundred dollar bill. **_

_{Flashback end}_

He was sitting in his usual spot on the sidewalk, but wasn't doing his natural thing. Most of the time I'd catch him playing a song, but today he seems to not have an idea for today. While I continued to walk and chat with Blue, I studied the man. He was turned towards our direction, eyes closed, and unmoving. Bluma was turned to me, but my focus was on the man as we walked up the street. Not wanting to seem rude, I briefly made eye contact with Blue to show her that I was still paying attention to her. It was then after I returned my gaze to Demyx, did I nearly choke on my words.

Demyx was looking directly at us; however, not exactly at me. At Blue.

I reverted my gaze to where I looked ahead of me. Even though I have seen Demyx many times around the city- sometimes passing him on the sidewalks in plain view- we never made any contact. I used to have paranoia thinking wherever Demyx was, people I knew back in Westside would be around as well. But it was not only that, there was also the paranoia of running into _him_.

I ignored Demyx and continued to walk, Bluma's attention still focused on me, and Demyx following our retreating forms as we walked around the next block.

xXxXx

It wasn't long until the both of us got hungry. To my persistence, we- well I- decided to step into a Diner for an early dinner. As we walked in, to the left was the smoking section of the Diner and to the right was the no-smoking section. Bluma fidgeted behind me while two men in the smoking section stared at us. I didn't pay any mind to them, but waited for us to be seated. Before we had entered, Blue told me she didn't feel comfortable going to the diner, but I wanted to eat at somewhere close to where we were walking so I persisted. She now had this blank yet angry face on her features. I have to remember to apologize to her later. We sat at the far end of the Diner away from the smoking section. I was starting to get this unsettling feeling as we sat down, a feeling that was not a stranger. When it came to the both of us, this feeling almost followed behind us like a shadow. It was really hard to ignore, but then again, I always brought us into these messes. Bluma thinks it's one of my sick hobbies.

(Which it was)

For dinner, I had a thick helping of potato soup, and a side dish of onion rings. Bluma had a small helping of salad and a square of lasagna. We chatted lightly, mainly about the clients Blue was scheduled tonight. Since she worked in both departments, she got paid more than the other prostitutes. She would have considered herself lucky, if it weren't for her… conditions. As we ate, we tried to ignore the two men that stared at us from across the room. They were getting very annoying, and I just wanted to get dinner over with and just go. I could already feel Blue's uncertainty.

We finished our dinners with full stomachs and gathered our things as we made our way out. The two men on the other side of the diner got up as well and followed behind us to the entrance. Just before I was able to push the door open to leave, a hand shot out and pulled the door preventing me from leaving. I felt Bluma pressing herself against my back; a sign of her feeling uncomfortable. I glared at the offending hand then followed the hand to the joined arm, the arm to the shoulder, the shoulder to the neck, and finally the neck the owner of the hand.

"What do you want?" I asked the man, my words calm and controlled.

"Do you remember me, Princess?" The man asked, eyes filled with glee as if he had caught the rarest bird in his rusted cage.

The man was quite tall. Maybe five-eight or at the brink of six feet tall. He hadblonde hair that passed his eyes, thin eyebrows, and a scar running along his cheek. His other friend that was currently wolfing down Blue with his eyes, was a little on the opposite side. Dark chestnut brown hair, clear skin, but tall as well. The one with dark hair wore a tattered blue jean jacket, and the other wore a nice leather jacket with the American eagle on the back. Both of them smelled heavily of tobacco.

"Nope. Don't know you at all." I answered becoming bored of this man quickly.

"Are you serious? Does 'Big Bull' ring any bells?"

I did recognize the name in fact, but not the man. I guess he remembered one of my P.N's.** I use for clients. Names of encouragement just to keep the participant in the mood. This isn't the first time any of my chosen clients came to me asking if I remembered their P.N. They were just pathetic dogs when you looked at them really.

"No, they don't. Now if you please, Blue and I would like to be going now." I stared blankly at both of the men, not entertained at all.

"All we're asking if for another tango with you and Blue here. A foursome is not that bad if we're willing." The man closest to me leaned in until our noses touched. "I promise it will be worth your while. What do you say?" I smirked at this. Blue glaring at me as the man smiled thinking he was actually going to get some.

"How about this," I started, leaning into the other guy until our lips barely touched. "I can let you have all this…" I purred ghosting my lips over the man cheek to shell of his ear. I could hear him gulp out of nervousness, which was something stupid to do when you're the one who wanted to get an elite like me in your bed. "…if you can catch me with a blind eye." I hissed, letting all the venom escape into my words.

"Huh?"

I reeled back and punched the man square in the eye. I grabbed Blue's hand and laughed as we ran out of the Diner. The two men shouted after us accepting our- well my- challenge.

"I knew I shouldn't have listened to you." Blue grumbled behind me. "If you weren't into your sick games, I wouldn't be here risking my body before I had to give it for work."

"But you know I always keep the days we have together alive." I grinned. "Besides, I really did want to eat there, haven't in a while. And you know you enjoy my games as much as I do."

"Hmph."

The two men eventually started to catch up with us, but we kept up the pace at an average speed that would guarantee a good distance from them. This was almost like an everyday thing for the both of us to be honest. If you worked at Misery Business- which yet again was at the heart of Eastside, the city with both a good and bad reputation- you were bound to be recognized somewhere. Depending on your popularity and how much you're favored, affects how often you could run into one of your own clients or strangers that want to get in your pants outside the job. Since blue and I are most favored, we have a lot more run-ins than all the other members. But we don't find that all too troubling. Because of this, we have a better chance of increasing our self-defense, and who or what to avoid on the streets. I still could remember the first time I almost got kidnapped.

It was in the morning after I finished giving a quick blow job to an urgent client. He was originally appointed to Blue, but I had to "assist" him because at the time, Blue was having one of her _episodes_. At first I was skeptical about it because he wasn't a client I choose. At the time, I hadn't learned to be grateful to any opportunity that even a half hearted suck-off would earn you a couple of dollars. After I had said my goodbye and packed all my stuff, I headed to the back entrance and out. I opened my purse to check I had everything accounted for because some clients had the tendency to steal. I hadn't noticed the man that stood not too far from me- which was dumb on my part-, so I hadn't thought anything could have happened at the moment. Now, the stupid thing the man had done was try to kidnap me in front of the entrance of my work, which was Lexaeus station of security and covered with security cameras. Dumb right? Eventually Larx banged open the door and beat the man to a bloody pulp. (Body guards don't take offenses to their "women" so lightly.

I thanked Lexaeus after the small incident, and taught myself to never overlook a suspicious man even if he smelled of fried onion. This also taught me another thing:

_If running doesn't work out, then beat the bloody shit out them until their balls fall into bloody sacks._

We continued to run as the two men continued to gain on us. We weaved and pushed through pedestrians that interfered with our path. We were already getting tired of this little game of cat and mouse, and Blue still didn't look too happy about the situation.

_Gotta remember to apologize later…_

We rounded a corner into a familiar section of Eastside. Blue sighed in relief as we ran down the street towards her home, Destiny Heights. For us, this was a good thing considering most of the security was under our bosses control or influence of Blue herself. In a way, it was like the hotel was Blue's fortress of defense.

We were about five coming onto four blocks away from the hotel, but that was when I spotted something… peculiar. I focused my eyes ahead of me and spotted someone –a man- exiting the hotel. As we came closer, I noticed he was hearing a black trench coat, a scarf that covered half of his face, and had…

…very bright red hair… verymessy, spiky bright red hair…

_Reno_

I hadn't thought it would be a surprise to see Reno come out of the hotel, but I was glad for our luck.

_No…_

"Princess!" I ignored blue's scream as I ran across the street towards Reno as he headed towards his car.

_No, no, no…._

"RENO!"

_Why are you here?_

After I shouted his name, everything seemed to slow.

It was like I could see, smell, hear, taste, and touch everything at once. I could feel the way the cold air ripped through my skin. I could hear the slow pounding of my feet as they hit the concrete. I could almost smell the cologne that came off the man as the distance between us shortened.

"PRINCESS, THAT'S NOT-"

_Why did you suddenly appear?_

I could see how slowly he turned towards me, eyes widening as they made contact with mine.

_You shouldn't be here…_

I could taste the dryness of my mouth as my eyes met with eyes that were not of Reno's, but more of the eyes of-

"-THAT'S NOT RENO!"

…Axel.

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***"Bluma" Is another name Roxas gave to blue in an attempt to mix "Blue" and "Mama" together.**

**** "P.N.'s" is just a shortened version of "Pet Name's"**

**OH THE SUSPENSE! AND THE CLIFFY :D**

**Chapter 13 END! XD Hope you enjoyed!**

**Remaining Questions: 2**

**Let me know what you think about the story so far! I love to know what other people think about this story or chapter, or may give me tips to make the story better. You may never know, maybe your comment may change the original plot to the story. Those who contributed with be mentioned on the last chapter~**

**R&R PWEZ!**

**Until next time,**

**~RoXeEn**

**P.S. Here is something my Beta left for me at the end of the chapter after she edited it. :d Love you Mama~ She's not my real mother BTW. :l Also my beta made a poem of the story for me! Isn't she sweet~ link on my profile is you wanna read it :D**

**{{Well, I didn't see your footnotes, but I loved the chapter. The way it sped up near the end, the well-placed flashbacks, the balance between comedy and suspense . . . . BUTTHEMOTHER-GRUBBINGCLIFFHANGERS,WOMAN. WHY? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME? I WANT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS SO BAD I CAN **_**TASTE IT.**_** IT TASTES BITTER-FRICKING SWEET, MAN.}}**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey :)**

**I know it's been over two months (OMG) So as an apology, I'm giving you two chapters :D (You Welcome)**

**I am sorry. I am pathetic. I am the worst writer ever…. It just got Rated M all up in here :l**

**Happy Readings!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own characters only own the plot.**

**Warning!: There will be sadness, hurt, violence, rape, foul language, sexual themes, and smut in this story! If you can't stomach that crap, then don't read!~**

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Chapter 14

_{Flashback two years ago}_

_The man above me grunted as the tip of my tongue barely gazed his shaft. I could already tell this man was sensitive because the simplest of touches was enough to send him into a moaning mantra. He could have been a pleasurable toy for the others in the S&M department, but he would have been dead with ecstasy._

_The man himself looked to be in his mid-twenties; not much of a looker, but I could see that he held himself quite well. He had on a nice gray tailored suite and matching dress pants, a black tie with diagonal silver stripes running along it, and very clean fingernails. __**Very clean and shiny fingernails**__. One way to tell when someone is wealthy was how he or she presented themselves. Cleanliness was almost number one on the __**checklist**__. Even though some men may seem a little shaggy or plain out vile, it can take the littlest hints of cleanliness to make a difference._

_The man had curly dark hair that reached his eyebrows, a- what used to be peach before we began- pale round face, well built, and from what I could feel from his firm thighs- which I happen to be gripping at the moment- very well built. All in all, he was not bad for a catch. I would have considered myself lucky enough to get a hold of this guy while dodging drunken fiends. Tonight he was the only person that caught my eye._

"_S-S-Stop." The man stammered above me, gripping the white sheets and attempting to glare down at me with lustful eyes._

"_What?" I stopped like he wanted me to, and glanced up at him with questioning eyes; a small smirk playing on my black painted lips. "You don't like what I'm doing to you?" I asked innocently with fake hurt in my eyes. My painted nails taking the place of my mouth stroking gently._

_**Step 5 of 2: Play the act. Keep them distracted on nothing but you**_

"_N-No… it's fine what you're doing, it just…"_

"_You don't like the tease?" I finished his sentence smirking under his gaze. He wanted more; I know, but I wanted him to at least earn it unless…_

_Glancing at my left, I looked at my watch and saw that I had five minutes left with this guy. The man said I only needed to make him come once to get full payment, but never said that I could make him come twice._

_Wrapping it up, I engulfed the head of the man's cock into my moist cavern sucking gently. Instantly, the man fisted my hair not so very gently. He tasted just like he smelled like cheap cologne, which to me tasted__** very**__ –in Gardenia's terms- was part of the job, and to bare with it. I chuckled purposely, sending vibrations through his throbbing member as his grip on my hair became tighter. He grunted and growled as I swirled my tongue around the head and slit. I felt the increasing amount of pressure pushing down my head; the man above obviously wanting mind wandering, I thought of something not very pleasant that I may have to resort to in a few seconds. Deep-throating isn't usually my style, and it always left the fainted taste of every man's semen and a tickle that'd annoy me for the rest of the day. Although, it was also a way to speed up the sexy times. Relaxing the muscles _in the back _of my throat, I drew his cock deep into my throat. I rose my head higher as I successfully reached the base of his shaft, and careful not the let the hairs tickle my nose. The man above me gasped loudly and withered while I steadily bobbed my head in rhythm. The man gasped, grunted, and moaned while thought cruelly of him. At this moment, I really wanted to pull away to laugh and criticize the man for being such a weak, pathetic fool. Falling so easily under the dangerous dance of the viper; immediately seduced from its sleek-scaly body, and sinful tongue that tasted your every want and desire. From the many men I slept with, they held out longer verses having to make this one come under five minutes! Even though I had chosen him from the "filth", you do not always know what lies in fool's gold._

_I felt a strong twitch rattle in my mouth; telling me the man was about to come._

_That's when something unexpected occurred; a chain reaction to be precise. It went something like this:_

_**First**__: The door swung open with a __**loud**__ bang._

_**Second: **__The action caused both the man and I to go into shock. (__**Effect A and Effect B**__)_

_**Effect A**__: The man yelped in shock (and maybe fear) of being caught. This made him shot his load deep into my mouth. Like pissing their pants from a good jumpscare._

_**Effect B**__: At this moment, I had let down my guard. Not only was I unprepared for the rude interruption, which caused me to –almost- look at the door, for that split second I had forgotten that I was currently about to get a mouthful of semen._

_Yet again, dumb on my part._

_**Third**__: As a result, I chocked when the man's essence shot to the back of my throat, and nearly when down the wrong tube. I recoiled and hunched the carpeted floor trying not to spit up all the hot sticky mess, but instead swallowed as much as I could before coughing into the ground._

_**Fourth**__: The man that unceremoniously opened the door, rushed to my side asking questions like: "Are you alright?!" "You're not dying are you?!" "Do you need to go to the hospital?!" "Did this son of a bitch hurt you?!" The man said a lot more, but I was too busy hacking up my lungs and trying not to gag from the bitterness._

_Once I had regained my composure, I had recognized who this man was and set an icy glare his way._

_**And Finally, Fifth**__: I smiled at Boss purposely making him think I was ok, but really, I reeled back and gave Reno the most sweetest – most fabulous- kiss* to the cheek anyone like him would have asked for._

_**And that was me just being nice…**_

_Reno yelped and flew back cupping his cheek. He looked back at me like I was crazy, and could see tears about to form in his eyes._

"_Ow! Princess! What was that for?!" He whined, hissing when his hand touched his now beet red cheek._

"_FOR BEING A JACKASS AND SCARING THE SHIT OUT OF ME!" I yelled back letting the venom coat my words like a poisonous knife. Reno visibly flinched at the power of my voice; a great trait to have when you want to get your point across. But for Reno, it was a nice peck* to the face._

"_Ow, stop being such a pussy princess. I came to tell you something!" Reno whined making my eyebrow twitch with his overzealous attitude._

"_While I was in the middle of doing something?!" I gestured outward to show the "something" I was doing, but when I looked to the bed where the man- who I had been with preciously before- was replaced with a large sum of cash._

_**I guess he decided to chicken out when he learned that he "cummed his pants." Well… really in my mouth…**_

"_I know, I know. Though it was boring to just watch you pleasure our guests from a hole in a wal-"_

"_Whoa…wait. You…WATCH ME WORKING THROUGH A PEEP HOLE?!" I shouted directly in his ear. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see people crowding around the door, but I could give less than two fucks who was watching me about to beat the shit out of this insufferable redhead._

"_Oh please Princess, it's not like you haven't given me a show before." Boss smirked twisting his pinkie in his ear, most likely trying to regain the hearing he has lost. He knew what was coming at him if he continued… or what should have when I tried to lunge at him._

_Note that I __**tried**__ to lunge at Reno, but then Lexaeus had to step in and block my blow with his oversized arm. I was going to try to make a grab at him, but the mammoth had to block my second attempt._

"_Mind who you try to throw a pass at, darling. That could add a little to your contract." Reno snickered bringing himself up until he towered over me. "I still don't know what happened to make you to have as much debt as Blue, but your fine will not be deducted if you keep this up, sugarcakes." Reno hummed giving me his fakest smile before leaving the room with a grin that reached his ears. "I'll come back and discuss this when you have… __**calmed down**__." He said as everyone who was watching the scene moved aside like peasants would when they saw royalty._

_I growled after him; rising to run after him and give him a good kick in the gut, but Lexaeus tapped my shoulder once and left after the Boss of smart assery._

'_**Calm down, it's not worth it right now.'**__ His silent words whispered in my brain. The door creaked behind him as he closed the door; locking the door as if already predicting what was going to happen next._

_**Boy, did he know what would happen next…**_

_My hands started to shake; my breath turning ragged. I know I should calm down, but every time I saw Reno I thought of that __**bastard**__._

_The first time I saw Reno, I thought he looked just like Axel. I was so shocked; I thought Axel had somehow found me realizing I had left. I was so overcome with emotions to see him looking down at me with worry, and a very misplaced smile across his face… until I saw one little detail._

_His eyes were blue-green… Not the vibrant green that I later started to hate._

_I realized that he had not come for me at all… he did not look for me…he wouldn't find me… nothing…_

_I thought back to the many things I loathed about the redhead. He took my family and friends from me. He took all I held dear, loved, or desired. He took what was precious and part of my life. He'd always get the attention no matter how much I flail my arms and scream to be noticed. My blood would boil when I thought of everyone that hadn't taken notice. For all I know, he probably took my room when I left; taking over my place with trinkets, posters, and gadgets that were probably __**way **__cooler than mine. I could always picture him wearing that stupid smirk on his face as he lay on the bed that used to be mine. His hair flared out on a pillow, lying content and relaxed. Eyelids shielding bright green eyes that seemed to glow with excitement and mischief. Shirt riding up when he stretched, revealing smooth skin and a red happy trail. His developing muscles flexing as he moved about. The way he admired himself when he looked in a mirror. The way his fingers glided across his smooth face; feeling for the new growth of stubble. The way his eyes seemed to shine when the bathroom light hit his eyes just ri-_

"_GAAAHHHH!"_

_I screamed running towards a short innocent lamp, picked it up, and threw it at the wall. It shattered on contact and I didn't waste time to rip apart the pillows I yanked off the bed. The viper that contained me didn't dare let go of its strong hold of my boiling anger. In a bind rage, I broke, tore, and demolished anything I could get my hands on in the room. I punched my fists through walls, windows, and mirrors until my fists were drenched in blood. I tore away at the sheet and wall paper with my bare hands and teeth. I took the decorative lampstand and smashed them on the walls; watching the sparks fly from the blob before thrusting it out the window. I gritted my teeth as I broke every lamp in the room- all except for one. One that stood unscathed on top of a small dresser at the farthest corner of the room._

_Growling under my breath, I stomped over to the small dresser and yanked open the middle drawer. Inside the compartment was riddled with toys; all clean of course, but never failed to leave one all the more dirty. There were different arrays of toys such as: Dildos, penis rings, vibrators, gags, fluffy cuffs, ribbons, furry wands, whips, chains, strap-ons, butt plugs, butt beads, flesh light, and leashes. All of these items weren't what I originally wanted to seek out, but I did want what was under all these deplorable items. I dug my fingers between the crook of the drawer and yanked it up. The contents of the drawer scattered around the floor carelessly as I stared down at the accused items of my grief._

_Sitting quietly in the drawer were a small pile of dolls. The first one I picked up had long black hair. It was made out of yarn- all of them were- but it didn't seem to get dull with it shiny glow. They all wore little clothes, had button eyes, and a sewed in smile. All of them did, and they were all slowly losing their stuffing. This one was my mother. The next one was my father with blonde hair just like mine. Styled similarly and almost the same colored eyes. Next Sora, his hair was flat because I couldn't make his hair stand up with hair spray. The next ones were the girls, Kairi, Xion, and Namine. All with their matching blue eyes and small dresses. As I pulled out each doll that resembled everyone I once knew, I threw them aside carelessly not really caring what would happen to them now._

_I guess when you lose something, it loses its value the more and more it is forgotten._

_After that was Riku with glued on dust bunnies for hair since I couldn't find any silver yarn. Then there was the gang, Hayner, Pence, and Olette. I remembered when we used to hang, but suddenly separated without cause. Then there was my grandmother. She must be dead by now, and I wonder if she had kept her promise to me. And finally, the source of my hatred._

_I stared down at it- unmoving. I really wanted nothing more to do than sit here and stare holes into everything I hated. I was really getting tired of it. __**This**__. Then again…_

_Gingerly, I picked up the stuffed doll from its velvety bed. I weaved my finger through the fabric, and ran them lovingly down the poor stitching. Its green button eyes stared up at me; smiling a stitched smile that was starting to unnerve me. Its fabric-y red hair was soft, and was down from every detailed memory. The doll wore simple clothes; all stitched in, but not taking away its simple beauty._

_**Well…what I used to consider beauty a couple minutes ago…**_

_My fingers clutched around the doll until it was balled up into my fist. I glared at the figurine; wishing it was the real __**someone**__ that plagued me even today. Without a second thought, I stomped over the nearest window, flung the door in one swift movement; cold air sucked out the warmth of the room, replacing it with its cold presence. I loosened my grip on the doll as the cold air caressed my skin and dotted it with goosebumps._

_I was starting to feel something I hadn't wanted to encounter ever since I left that place. I could feel my heart start to clench with emotion. My hand automatically reached where my heat was, feeling its rapid beating. Slowly it was becoming harder to breath, and my eyes started to sting; my eyes never leaving the handmade doll._

'_**Why don't you tell someone who cares?'**_

'_**Save it for later or something'**_

'_**I don't have time for you!'**_

'_**It's not my fault you live like a fucking mole!'**_

_I gasped from my trance and growled angrily at the doll. Without a second thought, I chucked the dingy figurine out into the freezing air; disappearing into the black of the night. Slamming the window shut, I stomped over to the mangled bed, kicking off my bedazzled nine-inch heels. The bed creaked as I threw myself upon it. I face planted into the torn pillows and comforters heaving a heavy sigh. I laid there halfway falling off the bed; arms dangling on the side and clothes looking unkempt. Just when I was about to close my eyes, I remembered that I brought the most important guest in the room and ha completely forgotten about him. Wiggling my fingers inbetween the mattresses, I felt around until I touched fuzz. I grabbed it and pulled out my beloved Shadow; his yellow eyes looking at me with almost emptiness, but not hiding the questions._

"_I'm sorry you had to see me like that…" I whispered bringing Shadow to my chest. "…I'm so sorry….I'm so sorry… I'm so sorry… so sorry… so sorry… so sorry… so sorry… so sorry… sorry…"_

_My mantra didn't cease as I laid their curled up on the mangled bed; ignorant of the silent eyes that pitied me through the invisible hole in the wall._

I swore to myself that from that day, I wouldn't succumb to my old feelings,

but looking towards my beloved companion for guidance.

_{Flashback End}_

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**Chapter 14 ENNNNDD! **

**I wonder who can guess who said which line?**

**Remaining Questions: 2**

**See you on the next chapter, which I will send today as well. This one will be longer :D**

**~RoXeEn**


	15. Chapter 15

**Nothing much to say.**

**I suck.**

**But I love you~ 10k+ CHAPTER BITCHES xD**

**Happy Readings!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own characters only own the plot.**

**Warning!: There will be sadness, hurt, violence, rape, foul language, sexual themes, and smut in this story! If you can't stomach that crap, then don't read!~**

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Chapter 15

{Roxas POV}

Ever since then, I vowed to never let feelings control my actions. I didn't want to submit to such feelings, and feel that I had arrived at the bottom of my depths. I swore that even if there were a chance- even in the afterlife- that I saw him again, I will let myself succumb to those feelings, but go about it another way.

_Though that resolve was almost at the edge of being thrown out the window today..._

… _at this very moment…_

…_looking into the eyes that cursed me._

{Axel POV}

I could feel my eyes grow wider and time go slower. It was almost like between me and the woman, who stood just as shocked as I was, there was a very familiar bond. I could honestly say that this woman was _very_ beautiful. Her full red supple lips, the way her eye lashes framed her eyes perfectly, the professionally added eyeshadow, eyeliner, and blush. Her beautifully sculpted face and blond hair that peeked out from under her hood; her stunning eyes in the familiar shade of azure. She was maybe the most beautiful woman that I've ever seen. My mind told me I've never seen this woman before, but deep down I knew that I have though I couldn't place where. I tried to study her face, but her eyes stood out more. Hers were swimming with so many emotions that I could barely identify what she was thinking or feeling. Every time I thought I knew what she was feeling. It was gone like a light.

_Gone with emotion from beautiful azure eyes._

Then suddenly time seemed to catch up with the current situation. The eyes that I once had an in depth stare down with were suddenly replaced with light blue hazel ones. I hadn't had the chance to really look at the next woman, for she snatched the blue eyed beauty in front of me and ran the opposite direction they came.

"LET'S GO!" The grayish-blue haired woman quietly yelled (ironically) running away… _was she wearing shorts?! _

Seconds later, I heard the loud sound of pounding feet. I looked opposite of where the girls ran and noted two men that seemed to be jogging out of breath. It seemed that those two _were _chasing after them, and they must have come from a long distance if they were breathing so hard. When the two had reached me, I simply stuck my foot out and caused one of them to trip. The other didn't seem to care for he tripped over his friend. They fell to the ground with a loud thud, and stayed there unmoving as they took their time regaining their oxygen debt. Being a little curious of the situation, I waited until one of them got to their feet and listen to him grumble.

"Man, why di'jah have to go on and do that?" One man- a blond- glared at me as he got up.

"Well it didn't seem like you were going to catch up with those girls any time soon." I answered unfazed by his glare.

"Come on, man, I had the feeling those whores weren't worth it after we passed the gas station." His chestnut haired friend huffed while the blonde aided and straightened him up.

"So then… why were you guys chasing them?" I asked, then cursed my curiosity afterwards.

"Huh? You're telling me that you don't know them?!" The blond looked at me with utter disbelief. "At least tell me that you know their names!"He said in a hushed tone as if just their names were top secret. It was starting to make me suspicious and added on to my curiosity.

"Um… no." I replied, not sure of what to say. My assumptions were telling me they were well known in this part of Eastside.

"Do you live around here?" The chestnut haired one asked looking me up. Eyes judging and examining for reasons unknown to me.

"Well yes, a little ways from this part of town, but not far out of the city." I didn't know why I was telling these men this. Even if they were to show up in front of my door, I wouldn't hesitate to bring out my shotgun like the average stereotypical American.

"Well, makes sense now. Some people that live a little ways from this part of town wouldn't know." The blonde uttered pulling out a cigarette pack and a lighter from his back pocket.

"Basically, they're not your typical 'whores'." The man mumbled as he lit his cancer stick.

"Typical whores? How so?" The information about the two ladies was starting to get to me, but really I wanted to know more about the blue eyed one.

"Are you into men?" The brown haired one piped in completely catching me off guard.

"Wha-… is that really any of your damn business as to what my sexual preference is?" I glared at him, not really wanting to talk about this particular subject, and this one was really starting to piss off my good mood.

"Okay, okay… don't need to chew my face off with your glaring." The man rolled his eyes backing away.

"So, can you tell me about either of the girls then?" I exclaimed growing rather impatience with the two.

"Well the blond…man oh man…. SHE'S FINE!" The blonde cried clapping his friend on the back as they hummed in agreement.

"Although I like Blue, I find her quietness very pleasing."

"Blue?" I was getting really irritated with the both of them not answering my question.

"Oh right, forgot you were there for a minute." _Fucking short attention span?_ "The girl you ran into is named Princess, and her other companion's name is Blue. She's the diamond in the sea of pearls. The best prostitute known in Eastside."

"She's… a prostitute?"

"One with an expensive price tag." Leaning onto my car, which made my eyebrow twitch with irritation. "You need to look the part and have the money if you ever want to shag that pretty piece of ass."

I grimaced when he finished his sentence and resisted putting my input into the subject. Was that all they thought about these women? Yes of course they were prostitutes and they chose to make their living like that, but was that really all they thought about them? They are people too, but I- myself- wouldn't think so low of them because of their title.

The two continued to talk, completely taking me out of the equation. I was left alone to wonder about the two girls, especially the blond one. There was something about her that I couldn't get over. The familiarity and her captivating eyes… I knew I wouldn't be able to get this girl out of my head even if I tried. I quickly hopped into my car not bothering to warm it up. I had only the intent to get home to a warm cup of black coffee; the blond woman still in my mind.

xXxXx

{Roxas POV}

The club was noisy as usual, and the rooms reeked of sweating men and women as they danced and took shots. I had my jacket off, exposing my black sweater with the big letter "P", and was currently sitting next to Blue at the bar. I gulped down my eleventh shot and heaved a heavy sigh after swallowing its bittersweet taste. I was starting to get frustrated that I hadn't gotten buzzed yet. Gardenia, who currently was slung over the table opposite of Blue, hiccupped with rosy cheeks and a shot in hand. She loved to have a shot contest with me, but always ended up the one losing thanks to my high tolerance for alcohol. At least after my ninth shot I would start to feel the effects and spiral down from there, but it was now my twelfth shot and all I could feel is a little numbness.

"Princess… I think you should stop. I don't want you to end up at the hospital and have to get your stomach pumped. _Again_." Blue spoke in her quiet tone placing a gentle hand on my back and rubbing small circles.

I ignored her and stared ahead of me. I didn't care if I ended up in the hospital, I didn't care if I damaged my liver, and I especially didn't care about anything right now. All I could see right now was the stained wall I was having a stare down with.

"Princess, stop acting this way. Please, you got to talk to me." Bluma begged, taking the shot away from me and placing it opposite of her.

"Bluma… you need to leave the poor girl angel alooooonnnne!" Gardenia slurred looking up at the both of us with droopy eyes.

"She's saaaaad!" She attempted to get up, but only accomplished to lean on me heavily. "Gawd DAMMIT… you win Prin…cess. You always win. I'm leaving this… pity party." Gardenia said smiling at me with a loopy grin, hiccupping between words. She got up with unsteady feet and stumbled her way to god knows where.

_Someone was going to get a free fuck tonight…_

"Princess…" Blue started again.

"Leave it." I cut her off turning away from her.

"Who was that man?"

"It's not important for you to know. Just leave it be-"

"By you bumping into that guy you suddenly started to act strange! Princess, I am starting to get very concerned right now and usually I don't get this concerned about anyone." Blue pleaded taking my hand and tried to force me to look at her.

"Look, it's none of your business!" I raised my voice a little really starting to get irritated. I wasn't liking here this was going.

"Princess plea-"

"I told you to leave it the **fuck** _alone_! Was there ever a time when I questioned you about your life? It's my problem so I should deal with it myself!" I yelled, getting on my feet and glared at Blue. The people around us looked in our direction, listening in to our argument and some stopping their previous actions.

"How can you deal with it when there's only _you_?!" There was a collection of gasps as it seemed it was the first time anyone heard Blue shout. Even for me, it was really surprising to hear her voice in such a degree. Though that wasn't what I was worried about right now. Deep down I knew I was going to regret this later. I didn't like where this was going at all. Not one bit.

"WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! YOU'RE THE ONE THAT NEVER TALKS TO ME ABOUT ANYTHING THAT DEALS WITH YOU!" I shouted gritting my teeth with familiar anger. "EVER SINCE I WAS HERE, I'VE TOLD YOU MORE ABOUT ME THAN YOU'VE TOLD ME ABUT YOURSELF! CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT FUCKING PICTURE?!"

"At least I give two fucks about my well being! You live like a bum in that run down house of yours! At least I try to take every opportunity life throws at me to make my life better while you roll around in the dirt like a goddamn mole!"

_**It's not my fault you live like a mole!**_

I closed the distance between Blue and I as I grabbed the collar of her shirt and pulled her up until we were nose to nose. She didn't flinch or retreat, she looked me straight in the eye like nothing was going to happen. The people around us came in closer like school kids would when they knew there was a fight about to happen. Though I wasn't planning on laying a punch on Blue's face, oh no, I just wanted her to get a little piece of my mind.

"You don't know… how much hurt… I've been through to end up in a place like this _god forsaken _place." I growled lowly trying to keep my temper. "You don't know how much _betrayal_ I received from the people I thought _loved_ me. You have no _idea_ how _lonely_ I felt having no one to be there for me…" I looked down feeling multiple feelings overcome me; my anger going down to a low shimmer.

For almost half a year, I've felt like a child lost in a huge crowd. I was with my parents once; happy and glad to be in their loving arms. I had all my friends with me and everyone else I cared about, but then I spotted the big red balloon that seemed to trap my attention like a vacuum. I went towards it, not noticing the green-eyed viper slip right past me. I was so captivated by something so artificial, that I hadn't noticed it taking my form and my name. By the time I looked back to show my parents and friends… my everything… it was too late. They disappeared in the crowd. I was scared and alone in a sea of people that only wanted two things from me. The only thing that I had for company was my red balloon and no one else. I went on and searched until I spotted everyone in the distance; walking away with an imposter. I tried to run after them, but the faster I tried to run the, the farther away they became. I got so tired of running that I had to watch them go with tears. I couldn't find my voice to call for them anymore. I didn't have the strength to even bother crying for the help I needed for no one would listen. With a stained mind and body, I watched them go; clenching onto my balloon that was once red… but now a murky black.

I trembled lightly of the thoughts, memories, and feelings of the past. I was beginning to feel the sting of tears at the corner of my eyes, and felt the old wounds reopening. I bit my lip to contain my emotions, but I was failing.

"… to have everyone neglect you and harbor all your thoughts, feelings, and actions all alone… without help… _alone_." I whispered to myself, not caring if Blue had heard.

The area around us was practically quiet, save for the music that pounded through the amps. I noted that even Gardenia –still in her drunken state- noticed what was going on while she was a little ways from where we were. The tension in the air was unbearable.

_Then Blue had said something that I never expected_

"Everyone has a sad story Princess, and yours is like one in a book. I bet you thought you had a perfect life before, right; a nice home, rich parents, amazing friends, and had a great school to go to. Each and every one of us had one too you know. We all had loving parents that neglected, we all had great friends made of betrayal, we all have met fake people who only aimed to take what was ours; all of it. But you know what? All of that doesn't matter in a world like this. Nothing. All that matters in this world is your price. No one cares how you got here, no one cares why you got there, no one cares what you did to get there, no one cares who told you how to get here, but as long as your there… the money is the only thing you can collect in the end." Blue paused, taking a deep breath and continuing, not allowing me the chance to put in my own input (like I even had one).

"Like I've told you in the past, everything here is done by choices. The saying 'Actions speak louder than words' takes a literal effect here. You see, I had _no_ choice working here. It was either me, or have the world eat me up whole. I was a feeble child growing up, and my parents didn't want to do anything that dealt with spending money for my expenses. I knew this of course, and I had to go out there and find something that would help support me because I didn't have the option in the first place. It was either my health or stay feeble until I die."

"You… you had a choice. For the many times I've seen you here, I've known you had all the opportunities in the world to _not_ end up in a place like this. But because of your ignorance, poor choices, and most likely on a whim; you _made_ your fate to being here. You _didn't_ have to be here. For all the pity parties you went through, I could have made even the littlest parts of my life worth. Even if it included neglectful parents, betrayal from friends, having everything and everyone I loved taken away from me! Hell, I would even make the most of having no one at all to be there for me! The bottom line of this all is you picked the option, a bad one at that, and now you're sitting right in the middle of a shit storm you created yourself. In a world where no one cares what you think, how things happened, and why you are there; not even you yourself matters. In all honesty, out of every one of us, you are the one who fucked up the most." Blue deadpanned in my face like everything she said from beginning to end was the truth.

Slowly, I released Blue from my hold and stared wide-eyed at the decorated floor. For the many years that I thought there was someone out there that remotely cared about me, Blue, why did it have to be now that I had to hear actually what I wanted to avoid come through her mouth? Did she… was she really saying that she didn't care about me at all like everyone else here. Was she saying that even though she had witnessed firsthand of the aftermath of what happened to me; it was all just a fake act of empathy? Did I not… matter to her? Blue, the only person that I felt was worthy of sharing tid-bits of my life, did not care what happened to me or who I was?

I backed away from the scene, not wanting to be part of the same atmosphere that I shared with Blue. All I had on my mind was to be alone with my thoughts.

"Princess… I…I didn't mean-" I didn't hear the rest for I ran out the room, through that back corridor, and through the back door into the freezing night.

_I simply didn't care anymore _

xXxXx

{Riku POV}

Sora had another break down the fifth time this week. It happened right out of the blue while he was working at his small bakery. I was called during work to pick him up at the hospital. For most things I was worried, and when I reached the hospital the doctors explained what had happened. Apparently, Sora had "seen " someone that looked _exactly_ like his missing friend, and _supposedly_ "attacked" him and had an emotional breakdown then the person ran away. Personally, I was surprised that he didn't end up in a prison after the past events. He had other episodes similar to this, but mainly resulting him claiming that he had seen his long lost friend. It sometimes got so out of hand that I thought Sora may need to go to an asylum. I thought it was unnatural as to how he was behaving towards someone that has been gone and missing for more than a couple of years. Really, I believe it's unreasonable. What had happened between the two for him to act like this? Sora never told me anything about his life growing up with his friend Roxas. He always told me things that didn't involve him, but now…

… I just about had enough with his drama.

I was getting tired of having to deal with his episodes almost everyday. I didn't want to have to sit down on our bed, couch, or wherever trying to calm Sora down. I didn't want to keep worrying that Sora might have another break down constantly everyday. Honestly, it felt like I wasn't getting my end of the bargain in this relationship. It didn't seem fair to me having to put up with Sora's crap while I bust my ass having to rush from work to wherever just to calm him down. It just didn't seem fair at all…that's why I am so tired of it…

…and that's why I started to go out at night.

I've only done it quite a few times, but it was hard trying not to get away from my world at home. It was my way of getting away from this sorry excuse for a life. I really did enjoy long drives and walks around the city. It calmed me, and helped me gather my thoughts on the current situation. Sometimes when I walk around, I would see remains or new pictures of the missing child that I scarcely remember. Whenever I came across one of them, I'd take the picture down and examine the photo of the missing blonde. He looked very much like Sora back then, and he had the same cute face Sora possesses. Before, all I could remember of him was his eyes. They were almost identical to Sora, but held something deep in them that I couldn't identify. As I stared at the photo, at the child Sora was so hung up on, I tried to think of anytime recently that I might have seen this face.

But I could never recall

So today, I decided to take a drive to a more dangerous side of town. I know my dear friend Axel was currently making a living in Eastside, so I thought I should pay him a visit. It was around the evening so Axel might be off from work right now. I picked up my cell and called him while I drove, but cursed when I reached his voicemail. I hoped he would pick up since I couldn't quite remember what his address was, but I knew I'd recognize his apartment building when I saw it.

Idly, I cruised down the streets amazed by some of the sights. This was the first time I'd really gotten a good look at Eastside, and see that it is really a bright place to be. Usually from what I hear, this place is the most formidable side of Twilight Town. From the looks of it, it looked alright to me. Of course there were a few shady characters here and there, but overall it wasn't anything different from Westside.

Then abruptly my phone buzzed, and I nearly passed a red light glancing to see if Axel had called me back. Picking a random parking space, I pulled to the side next to what seemed to be a store that sold adult toys and items. I checked my phone and Sora's name popped up on my screen. He had called – several times- and the number of voicemails was quickly polluting my voicebox. Dragging out a sigh and feeling suddenly hot, I rolled down the window a bit but not too much that anyone would be able to slip their hand through and unlock the door. I tapped my phone awake and pressed the callback button. Sore didn't waste time to answer for it only rang once.

"…Riku?" Sora whispered through the phone, his voice sounding hoarse meaning that he had been crying recently. "… where are you?"

"In my car." I answered flatly not really wanting to strike a conversation with him right now.

"But you are not outside the house."

"I'm driving around in my car, Sora."

"If you are in your car, then why don't I hear the engine running?"

"Because I turned off the car and I'm sitting in a parking space." I said trying to hide the irritation in my voice.

"…"

Sora fell quite on the other line, and I almost thought he had hung up. Just when I was about to ask if he was still there, he had spoken so low that I had asked him to repeat it.

"What?"

"I said… at least come home, alright?" Sora sniffed on the other line. "Please promise me you'll return home, ok"

I could already tell what Sora was thinking. He feared that I may suddenly disappear just like his friend had. He wanted me to promise that I wouldn't leave _knowing_ that I couldn't break promises when it came to him.

"Sure, Sora, I'll be back before eleven. It's a promise." I finally answered after a while of silence.

"Ok… see you later. And Ri?"

I sighed at my nickname. "Yes, Sora?"

"You know I love you… right?" Sora questioned, almost sounding a little unsure of this question.

"Yes, Sora. I'll see you later, okay?"

"Okay, bye. Love you."

"Bye."

I released a sigh when he finally hung up. I closed my eyes and reached up to pinch the bridge of my nose, trying to soothe the growing headache I had earlier in the day. At this rate, I really didn't want to head home right now. Maybe a good few house would do me good, or maybe I should continue to go drive around, or maybe find a bar-

"Wife causing you trouble? Looks like you need a drink." I heard a voice that sounded nothing more than a young woman, and I really didn't fell like getting involved with one right now. I opened my eyes and turned to the direction of the voice to meet with stunning blue eyes peeking from the passenger window. I almost jumped out of my seat thinking that Sora had somehow found me, but after close examination, I noticed the small hints of blond hair that might have belonged to her. I glared at her and rolled down the window a bit to get a better view of who I was dealing with.

I hadn't expected what I had thought I'd see of this woman.

I was in awestruck when saw the full view of the boy's (or I thought it was) face. She looked almost like Sora, but an extremely beautiful face. From through the window, I saw on her lips firecracker red lipstick. His eyes were professionally lined with black, and shadowed with blue; making her eyes more noticeable. Her skin was pale and looked flawless; like a doll made of porcelain. The setting sun illuminated the sky and seemed to not graze her skin. It almost seemed to glow with its own pale light; making her have an almost ghostly appearance. Her hair was a honey blond and was styled in a familiar manner. The back of her hair reached to the nap of his neck, and seemed to curl around it like a blanket; the rest flaring out or swung to the side.

She looked very familiar and outright gorgeous.

Then I noticed the hand motion she was making over her face.

"Hello? Are you listening?"

"O-Oh, Sorry. I was just thinking you looked just like someone I know?" I said not sure of my own words.

"Do I look like your wife?" The woman smiled with an almost knowing smile.

"Yes- I-I mean no! Well…"

She giggled at my stammers, but I couldn't seem to help it. Just talking to her made me suddenly nervous; this was a very unusual thing for me to do around a woman. No woman that I ever encounted made me react that way, unless I was embarrassed about something they said. I did find this woman relatively sexually attractive, but the strange thing is I always found men sexually attractive.

Her mouth was moving, but I couldn't hear what she was saying. I don't know whether if it was because she is, or I chose not to hear her. I could see recognition in her eyes. Like they seemed to recognize me, but there was nothing I could recognize about her expect for the face that looked like Sora. I was simply stunned by her appearance, and she didn't look at all fazed like she knew her charm would have this affect.

She was absolutely beautiful.

Then again, I noticed she was doing that hand motion in front of her face.

"Hello? Are you even listening?!"

"OH! S-Sorry again." I looked away as she giggled while I willed the blush to disappear from my face.

"Don't worry, by the way, I am told that I look like someone all the time. I guess guys see me as what they would say, 'A better version of their spouse.'" She smirked then stepped back on the sidewalk and brought her arms up in a stretching motion. She was wearing a black furry sweater and had the letter "P" embroidered on it and a picture of a tiara partially slipping off the letter. My eyes wandered to a specific spot that I noticed that was lacking.

_That was when I had noticed the lack of __**breasts**__ on her chest._

My eyes went wide in realization as I couldn't help but stare. I hadn't noticed her look back at me with a knowing smile.

"What? Were you expecting breasts? Yeah, sorry there buddy but I'm a guy if you hadn't noticed already." I was completely baffled. I wasn't sure of what to say, but stare and ramble at the non-existent mountains.

"Then…then…why are you… you're wearing! ... You look like-!"I wasn't sure of what I wanted to say, but eventually I collected myself and came out with a straight response.

"You look like a woman." I said finally and was surprised by_ his_ sudden laughter. I could hear his laughter boom through my car and tears form at the corners of his eyes. My heart lurched when he suddenly fell to the ground, gripping onto the window of my door for dear life; his laughter becoming muffled.

On reflex, I hurried out my car door and went around to help the guy up, but the only trouble the man had (more like boy) was maybe suffocation from uncontrollable laughter.

"Uh… are you alright?"

"I'm fine… I'm fine… just hmmmmm." He regained his composure and smiled a very… off smile. Then he asked me a rather obvious question as he got up with his checkered designed jeans.

"Are you familiar with this place? Cause people from here wouldn't have had your kind of reaction."

"Eastside? No."

"Have you ever encountered, or should I say_ 'met'_ a male prostitute before?" He asked smiling wider.

"Um… no." I answered not sure of where this was going. He chuckled once and took a step closer to me. Out of reflex again, I stepped back.

"Well…" Another step. "-you're looking at one."

"…Oh."

I wanted to punch myself for not noticing his whole get up. I mean, I know there was no way that I could possibly be attracted to a woman, and it made sense because I was attracted to men only. Somehow, my body knew it was a man before my eyes did. But he looked so much like a woman that he had me completely fooled from the start. I had seen male prostitutes (on television) before, but you can clearly point out that they're male. As for the one who stood before me, perfectly impersonated a woman. Heck, he even sounded like one! The lack of breast made all the difference.

"-for a drink?" I had only caught the end of what he was saying.

"Sorry, please repeat that." The boy (most definitely a boy) rolled his eyes and repeated his question.

"Are you still up for a drink?"

I gave him a skeptical look, not really wanting to believe what he was asking. Up until now, I had just learned he was a prostitute, and if a prostitute proposes a drink, then that could lead to very obvious outcomes.

"I think you do know from earlier you do know that I have a wi-… a fiancé, and I must decline your offer. I am not dumb as to what you want." I glared at him then turned away to get back into my car and head home. Just when I had gotten into my car and was about to close the door, a pale hand stopped it from closing; forcing me to look back at the young man.

"So you automatically think it's sex that I want? Sorry sweetheart, but I'm not _really_ planning on getting some tonight." He snickered. His face telling me lies, but his eyes telling me truth. I wasn't sure which to believe at the moment.

"How do I know you just want my money?" I challenged, sticking my key into the ignition but was stopped by the same pale hand that suddenly gripped my wrist.

"NO!"

I jumped at his sudden outburst, and looked at him to see his eyes wide and probably just as shocked as I was.

"Sorry… um… I just-…" He fell silent. His honey locks falling over his eyes as he looked down in confusion and I guess bewilderment.

_So familiar…_

"I'm sorry for doing that. To tell the truth, I sort of had an argument with…. Someone I used to know… and I want to forget all about it. Look, I just really need a drinking buddy right now. Drinking helps me forget things I don't want to remember, so since I saw you I thought that you wouldn't mind having a drink or two with me." The boy said hugging himself as the cold winds made him shiver; his hair whipping in the air gently and innocently. "I swear I won't try anything," he looked me in the eye and fell silent for a minute. "I swear." He looked so sincere at this moment, and I was really having a hard time trying _not_ to look in his eyes.

_Eyes that reminded me so much of Sora_

"Maybe… one drink could be an acceptable." I whispered lowly, not sure if he could hear my reply.

He visibly brightened and opened the driver side door wider to allow me to exit my car.

"I'm really glad that you accepted my company, I really need it." He smiled genuinely at me, and I couldn't help but think how cute he looked as the dying sun rays made his eyes seem to sparkle.

_But the only thing I hadn't realized is that it was too late for I was already under his spell._

xXxXx

{Roxas POV}

We were sitting on bar stools; side by side. We idly chatted as we sipped our drinks and ignored the events around us. He talked about himself a little- some things here and there. He even talked about his fiancé that proved very little interest for me. I learned that his fiancé liked to call him "Ri"; a little pet name that he didn't like to be called. He was currently twenty-one years old and planned to marry his eighteen year old fiancé once they settled on a place to live permanently. He has yet to tell me what his fiancé's name was, but I already had an idea as I knew who he was, but he didn't know who_ I_ was. He tried to me to tell him how I became a prostitute, but that was personal information that I didn't want to give out. Especially since if he knew who I was, no doubt be would tell someone about it.

From the moment I saw him, I knew that this man I was sharing a drink with, had to be Riku. I clearly remember him from the day of my birthday that Sora had all the intent of spending his time with this silver-haired teen (currently man). This man was the boy that took one of the people I thought was precious to me. I was surprised how much he had grown to become this fine man, and how early he was able to start out his life. I guessed that while he was in school, that he was already taking some college courses. I wonder…

"So what is the name of your fiancé?" I asked, supporting my head on my hand.

"Why do you want to know?" He answered bluntly looking straight ahead. I could see his eyes were slightly glossy; evidence that he was beginning to get slightly buzzed.

"Well since we are here, I thought we would have some small talk, but I guess even sharing a name that I would mostly likely not remember after a couple more drinks are not worth a few breaths." I grumbled, gulping down my favorite glass of Jack Daniels and looked elsewhere.

Sometimes I did like to have small talk with someone every once in a while. This was probably one hard thing about being a male whore that you can't have a normal conversation to the point anything you say is like sex talk to the other person. I guess even men like Riku don't want to do jack shit with you, but think less of you like dirt.

"His name is Sora."

A small smile played on my lips when he finally spoke. So I was right after all huh? I can bet a hundred bucks that Sora was the one who did the proposal. Slowly, I turned to Riku and placed my glass down; my mind reeling bittersweet memories.

"Sora? It is a man that you are about to marry? That is very cute." I grinned half paying attention to what I was saying.

"Yeah, funny thing is, is that he was the one who proposed."

_Typical_

"I didn't think it would matter since I may not be seeing you again in the future. Though you do look like him… maybe more without your get up."

_Nice way to lay it on me_

"So I heard." I said forcing a chuckle. Riku then turned to me and stared very intensely while I made another order of my favorite liquor.

"I… never got your name, you know." Riku stated, not breaking his stare."What is it?"

I looked away from him; looking straight ahead of me and fell silent. Even though I was the one asking Riku questions about himself, I really didn't feel comfortable with him asking me questions about myself, but what difference would it make?

"…Princess."

xXxXx

I helped Riku stumble back to his car once I figured he had one too many drinks. It was getting late- around 9:30 to make an exact estimate- and honestly, just him starting his sentence with the letter "S" was going to make me blow a casket. With enough sense, like anyone else, I brought a few bottles of water to help sober him up. Once we finally reached his car, I dumped him on his car hood, and looked through his pocket for his keys. I jingled them in my hands and unlocked the driver side door. Glancing at Riku, I heard him continue his rambles and give a sigh.

The man was drunk for one, and anyone with a brain wouldn't let him drive himself back home. It wasn't like me to care, but I couldn't leave him like that with a greater possible chance that he was going to get mugged or crash his car into something. Groaning, I went back to Riku and stuffed him into the passenger seat and buckled him in. I parked myself in the driver's seat, started up the car, and drove the car out of the parking space and out onto the road.

_I have to later thank Lexeaus for teaching me how to drive._

I drove through the night; passing through popular places and people of the night life. I really admired Eastside at this time of the night. When all of its lights seemed to make the entire city glow in artificial light. There was truly nothing here in Eastside that I didn't love. It was definitely my home.

I continued to go through familiar places of Eastside before I reached the entrance sign telling you, you were now entering Westside. I was a little glad that Riku sobered up a little to give me somewhat accurate directions. It wasn't until after I passed the sign, did my heart suddenly feel like it was caving in on itself.

We passed a high school – my former high school- and I saw the little differences that were done to it during the years I've been gone. It hadn't changed much though. Maybe a new color added to the original school colors. My throat tightened as I passed a playground that I used to play on with all my old friends when I was still getting into middle school. My tongue went dry as we passed my favorite place to get ice cream every summer on a hot day. This whole place seemed to taunt me with memories around every corner. Though with every corner we passed, I left those memories behind just as fast as we came.

Then Riku started gagging.

I quickly drove to the side and reached over to throw open his door. Just in time for him to puke his guts. It was a disgusting sound, but if you were to be surrounded by the kind of people that I know, you wouldn't mind the sound of people emptying the contents of their stomachs. I laid back on my chair and remembered back to when I had warned Riku not to have too many shots of Miami Tequila, but it was now obvious that he hadn't listened to me. I heard him spit out the remnants from his mouth, and accordingly handed him a bottle of water when he reached for one.

"Here, it'll make your breath smell better." I grinned.

"Gee… thanks." He rasped, swishing water around in his mouth and spitting it out.

"You're welcome." I smirked at nothing but what was ahead.

It was silent between the both of us except for the sound of Riku crackling his bottle as he sucked all its liquid essence from it. I closed my eyes feeling a wave of tiredness hit me. I wasn't buzzed, so I couldn't blame it on the liquor but I just suddenly felt_ so_ tired. I thought of the events earlier in the day. How I just wanted my day off to be normal with just Blue and I, having a thrill from being chased by those two men (not thinking of that one-sided reunion), the argument I had with Blue, unexpectedly seeing Riku for the first time in over three years, learning that – obviously- Sora proposed to Ri-

Suddenly, I felt lips touch mine.

The lips were slightly chapped, but weren't aggressive like I was used to. It was gentle; timid almost, but it didn't lack in affection. I wasn't surprised when I opened my eyes a crack to see Riku hovering slightly above me. His eyes were closed with a light blush dusting his cheeks. Automatically my lips started to move knowing its usual pattern without me meaning to. Riku turned his head to get a better angle, and cupped my cheek in his hand as I adjusted accordingly to deepen the kiss; the kiss staying ever-so gentle. There was no love, no passion, just – most likely- drunken lust.

Any other person who was in my position – who knew that their ex-best friend was going to marry the man you were currently have a make out session with- would have pushed said man away and blame him for making a move on you. Although, since I am not friends with my ex-best friend, and it so happens that _Riku_ was the one who was making a pass at _me_ when he was the one who told _me_ not make one at _him_, I am not going to feel regret doing this. I already accepted my new way of thinking with open arms. I no longer cared for the consequences, for they no longer concerned me. There wasn't really anyone to stop me anyhow.

_I don't have a care in the world_

"You are so beautiful… just like him" Riku whispered, taking one of my ears captive between his nibbling teeth.

_So I've been told_

Riku trailed kisses along my jaw then came back to my lips licking them for entrance; I allowed him the entrance not minding giving him what he wanted. My tongue danced with his; tasting the vomit and the sweet liquor. A lone hand made its way up my sweater to touch my bare skin. It was cool against it, and made small mountains wherever they touched, making me shiver. Eventually they reached my nipples and teased them until they were hard. That part of my body was one of my most sensitive, for if done the right way, it made me a hissing or panting mess. The other hand wrestled with my hair; becoming tangled in the golden locks.

It eluded me as to how we ended to the back seats of the car. It was a little cramped, but somehow we had gotten back there. He laid me down gently onto the seats and took over his dominance as I kicked off my shoes elsewhere. I could start to feel myself shutting down mentally. Moments ago I was Roxas, but my mind restarted itself becoming 'Princess'; my false alter ego in this world of lies. It was really looking like there was no way that Riku was going to back out now. He seemed to be getting really into it. Although, I can always hold this against him if I ever see him again in the future.

"You taste just like him." Riku murmured taking off his jacket while planting kisses down my neck, emitting fake purrs through my lips.

_So I've been told_

"You sound just like him."

_So I've been told_

"I won't be sounding like him for long once we are through." I, Princess, grinned as I grabbed his collar and forced him to switch positions with me so I was sitting on his pelvis. Now I was the one on top and he on the bottom, and I could already feel the slightest hint of a hard-on.

His undershirt now revealed to me, he wore a buttoned up shirt neatly tucked into his dress pants. Not wanting to be delicate with things, I took both sides of the shirt and pulled in opposite direction causing the shirt to rip clean down the center. I was _almost_ surprised at how nicely built the man was. Before, I remember he used to have a thin, lanky body, but I could have said I was a little impressed.

Riku reached up and pulled my sweater up and over my head. I leaned over and trailed my tongue along Riku's neck, collar, and paused at his light pink nubs. Riku allowed a small hiss to escape his lips as I lapped at the hardening nubs. I nipped at them with my teeth and sucked lightly making Riku mewl and gasp. When I finally determined they were hard enough, slide myself down to work on unbuttoning his pants. My mouth continued to move south as it dipped between toned muscles and his navel.

I pushed Riku back making him prop himself up against the car window, and I was now placed neatly between his legs. He was panting lightly and looked down at me as I unzipped his fly. Once it was open, my hand crawled in between his briefs and pulled out his increasingly stiffening cock. Riku grunted and growled as my thumb ringed around the head; coating the pink muscle with white translucent cum. He was fairly large; acceptable for my personal standards, but honestly a good size. I curled my hand around the thick rod and pumped gently; squeezing with random pressure with each stroke but not too much that would actually hurt him. I already had Riku breathing heavily and moaning under the control of my hand. To add to his pleasure, I blew at the tip and placed a small kiss, and licked the precum off my lips while a smirk grazed my lips.

"Y-Y-You are r-r-really g-good… Nngh… not l-l-like…"

"Sora?"

_So I've been told_

"No, I am not like Sora. I may have his face, but we are entirely different," I mumbled placing a long kiss on top of his cock. "…so very different."

Not wanting to have anymore chit-chat, I swallowed his dick into my mouth and sucked lightly bobbing my head. I heard Riku try to muffle his moans, but pathetically failed when I hummed sending vibrations through his shaft. His hands made their way into my hair and gripped them lightly applying pressure almost making me falter my perfect rhythm. Just by that, I knew that he wanted me to deep throat him, but sadly that wasn't something I found pleasurable for me and I already had a bad experience with it (Shut up). Though he did taste strange. It was a familiar taste; one I preferred- a clean taste. The taste was gratifying… maybe I'll enjoy myself a little tonight.

Taking advantage of the muscle in my mouth, I dragged my tongue and teeth lightly along his shaft. I looked up at Riku and examined every muscle on his face as I sucked him off. His mouth was opened slightly and his eyebrows were knitted together as if he was trying to concentrate only on the mouth that was currently latched around his throbbing member. Sweat was beading from his forehead, and he was practically fucking my mouth and making my jaw slightly ache.

Now starting to feel slightly uncomfortable in my positioned, I moved away from his dick with an audible 'pop'. I smiled as I looked down at my work with satisfaction. A nicely lubricated dick; perfect. Riku growled with the loss of my moist cavern, and tried to pull my head back down for me to return to my pervious action.

"W-Why did y-y-ou stop?" I smiled evilly as I brought myself up to his face only leaving a few centimeters between us, the viper within me eagerly craving for his lust.

"It wouldn't be fair if you got all the pleasure out of this. I deserve just as much."

I purred, capturing his lips between my teeth pulling lightly as I undid the button and fly of my jeans. Riku took my hands away and pulled the rest of my pants down making it pool around my ankles, and fumbled with the elastic of my briefs. (Funny thing is, I usually wear women's underwear) I aided him by pulling the rest of the bottom half of my clothes off and threw them elsewhere exposing my semi-hard member. I allowed Riku to grab hold of my member and stroke to his heart's content, but I knew it was going to take a lot more to make me hard. Brining myself up, I hovered above him as he stroked me while I molested his mouth with my tongue. I took hold of his wet member and angled it in the right position before I brought myself down upon it, not needing preparation. For the many times I had a man's cock up my ass, I didn't need to be prepped like others would think.

When I reached to the base of Riku's cock, Riku himself moaned, and so did I. I underestimated Riku's size.

"Now…then," I panted, trying not to focus too much on the muscle that was currently up my ass. "Let us have some real fun, shall we?" Inside me, I could already feel Riku's anticipation of his twitching cock.

I began to ride him slowly, getting used to the size and feel of him and bit my lip to stop me from accidentally releasing a moan. It was increasingly getting hard not to with the need of more stimulus even if the hand around my rod wasn't giving me all I needed, so eventually my body responded by squeezing my walls around the penis that was making its way deeper inside me. From all the men that I had sex with, this was probably one of the best I had yet. I didn't need to fake moans or orgasms, and it honestly felt good. It was rather boring when I do, and it only seemed more arousing to the other than it did myself.

_Well Sora… I have to give it to you… you picked well…_

My member stiffened with every stroke as I rode him; Riku meeting me halfway, pushing himself up, going deeper.

"Ah!" My whole body seemed to go aflame when his cocked brushed against my prostate.

It happened so suddenly that I completely stopped riding him. My toes curling as Riku continued to thrust upwards. Instead, Riku took this to his advantage – which I didn't mind- and brought himself up, pounding me while I was upon his lap.

"O-oh g-g-god… you…Nngh… feel so g-good!"

_So I've been told_

"A-AH! R-RIKU!" My face was hot and most likely beet red. Sweat trickled down my brow as my hair clung to my neck and forehead. I tried to push myself deeper, but I only managed to fall backwards and bang my head on the opposite window with Riku on top of me. Of course I didn't feel the pain, for all the pleasure was masking the sensation.

It was then did everything become frantic movements. Both Riku and I wanted more of each other, and space around us only allowed us so little. I noticed the windows in the car were fogging over from the heat we were exerting, and the car itself rocked with every thrust Riku supplied. (What the fuck…?) My head banged against the window (Not hard enough to feel pain in my current state), and my moans became louder with every passing moment; my nails dragging along his back, carving my signature.

"Augh… nnh… S-Sora"

_Well that's wonderful. He thinks I'm Sora… drunken bastard_

"R-Riku… I-I'm g-going to-" I tried to speak, but grew more difficult the closer I was to cumming and the faster he thrusted.

"S-Sora… I can't…"

_GOD he is terrible!_

I couldn't hold it in much longer. I knew I was about to cum and I tried to resist, but of course my body had failed me once again. "AAAHHH!" I came onto his chest and mine. Some of my own cum landed on my neck and face. Riku grunted as he unloaded inside me, the odd feeling of white hot sticky liquid invading my insides. We relaxed when the spasms completely stopped; frozen in ecstasy for a long moment until Riku slumped himself over me breathing hard into my ear.

"You are amazing… Sora… that was amazing."

"Yeah, Ri," I whispered panting slightly as I was still coming down from my high using the nickname Riku had told me Sora would use on him.. "… you were amazing too." I praised monotonously staring up at the roof of the car.

WE lay there unmoving, basking in the afterglow of sex. I hadn't noticed until now that Riku had left his passenger door wide open letting in cold air enter as it pleased. At the thought of it, I shivered now realizing how quickly the cramped space was decreasing in temperature. It wasn't long until I heard the soft snoring of Riku napping away on my chest.

_Out of all the time in the world, he decided now to fall asleep?! What a douchebag…_

I roughly pushed Riku off me, making him grunt in his sleep but not waking him up. I grabbed the first thing I could get my hands on, which was his jacket, and wiped the cum off my chest, neck, and face. Riku had came a lot inside, and I tried not to let any spill on the seats but then again… this wasn't my car so why should I care? At least evidence of what happened would remain.

_Evidence_… this caused me to smirk

I hastily pulled on my briefs and jeans to help my naked appendages fend off the cold. I found my shoes and slipped them on then crawled up into the driver's seat pulling out the keys that were still in the ignition. I searched around and found Riku's phone in his jacket pocket seeing it was a little after ten. I set an event on the phone setting it to go off at eleven. Grinning, I typed in a message and hit 'save' and clicked it shut. Finally, I crawled out of the passenger door, tossed the key back in, locked the doors, and slammed it shut not caring if that had woken up the silverette inside.

"_I had a lot of fun tonight~ I hope we never see each other again!"_

_~Princess_

I was walking down the road with a little skip in my step with a smirk plastered on my face. I just had sex with Sora's fiancé. I left Riku there in his car with my signature on the lower left side of his back. It was a carved design of a crown. For every man I slept with, I always engraved a crown with my nails so I knew who I did and did not sleep with. I've always kept my nails a certain length to be able to do it, and even if the scratches had healed, it always left a faint scare behind. Just thinking about it made me wonder if Sora would notice it. Then thinking of Sora, I felt kind of proud of what I – _Riku_- had done, and it gave me a sense of closure… or payback? I snickered, then chuckled, and finally laughed my heart out as I walked the empty streets. I wondered how Riku was going to get the smell of sex off him and his car. But whatever. It didn't matter to me of course.

_It never did _

I looked up at the clear sky, not caring if I walked into something while I did. The sky seemed more… crisp tonight. Not a single cloud polluted the heavens, and every star smiled looking back at earth with its twinkling smile. The moon kept me company with its silver blanket. It really felt like the night was my friend… well not my dearest but closest. The wind blew, tousling my hair and giving me chills. Papers flew into the night sky from below into the above.

But then of course, one of those papers had to fly right into my face while I stood awestricken, scaring the living shit out of me.

I snatched the paper right off my face like anyone would if they had a bug crawling on them, but froze when I read the paper.

_**MISSING**_

I looked on lower and nearly felt my heart stop.

It was a picture of me…

_**ROXAS STRIFE**_

The paper shook in my hands as I gripped it hard; puncturing holes where my fingers held it.

_**PLEASE CONTACT THIS NUMBER IF YOU FIND THE CHILD OF TIFA LOCKHART AND CLOUD STRIFE:**_

_**(900)-648-5553**_

_**ADDRESS OF HOUSEHOLD: 1380 QUEENS STREET, SUMMER PROVINCE, ZIP CODE- 10589**_

_**REWARD: $15,000**_

I don't know how long I stood there staring at the paper. Looking at me, looking at the big bolded letter that spelled 'MISSING', looking at my parent's names, looking at the reward…

_Why do they suddenly care?_

I ripped the paper until it was the tiniest shreds I could muster. The wind blew and I let go of the many pieces I tore up, and watched it lift into the air and away from my sight.

_Why do they suddenly care… after three years?_

_There was nothing more than I would have liked; to have the_

_wind carry away the tears that stained my face_

.

.

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**End of Chapter 15**

**Don't hate me. I wonder how many people are going to try to call the number…**

**Until next time,**

**~RoXeEn**


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